


Game Over. Replay?

by Folqueraine



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossing Timelines, F/M, M/M, Multi, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:23:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 43,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7993459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Folqueraine/pseuds/Folqueraine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jane Shepard triggers the destruction of the Reapers through the Crucible, she welcomes death. After losing all her friends and allies during the war, she thinks she deserves some respite.</p><p>Instead, she wakes up aboard the Normandy SR1, captained by a pissed-off John Shepard. He's about to storm Saren's base on Virmire and he's got enough responsibilities on his shoulders without dealing with a stow away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> On hiatus until September on account of vacation in the sun and new love.

Jane Shepard dragged herself to the power conduit. She hurt, she hurt all over. And she was going to die. But she didn't care at this point. The Reapers would be destroyed, and the people of the Milky Way would rebuild. She would die, and she'd be reunited with all those she'd lost, assuming that there was something after death. If not... well, it'd be the end of her sorrow.

She couldn't picture those who would be left after. All she could see was those she'd lost before.

Her parents on Mindoir. Her crew on Akuze. Jenkins on Eden Prime. Wrex and Ashley on Virmire, her first real failures as a Spectre. And then the unending litany.

Kelly and the crew of the SR-2. Dr Chakwas, Jack, Kasumi, Mordin Solus, Garrus, Jacob, Samara, Grunt and Miranda in the so-called suicide mission - more like a slaughter. She'd been ashamed to step back onto the Normandy SR-2.

And then Tarquin Victus. Thane and Zaeed on the Citadel. Falere and Rila. Padok Wiks and Eve on Tuchanka. Jondum Bau. Legion, Tali and the whole Quarian fleet on Rannoch. Oriana Lawson. James and Liara in London.

Anderson, by her own hand. Soon, EDI.

Did Conrad Verner count? Yeah, might as well.

How many times did she have to shoot the fucking conduit? She wouldn't find any clips in here.

Kaidan.

The explosion blinded her. Heat and light, red.

 _Kaidan_.

She'd done good, Anderson had said. More like she'd killed everyone, and she was going to join them.

She wondered what the afterlife was like. She just hoped Aria wouldn't be there.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably rethink the naming of those chapters, this is going to be awkward.

"Where did she come from?" John Shepard asked again, as they wheeled the stretcher from the elevator to the medbay.

"She just appeared out of nowhere, I told you," the requisition officer (Chris... something) explained. "There was a big red flash just before the power went off. When the lights came back on she was lying on the floor of the cargo bay."

Doctor Chakwas appeared and guided the soldiers inside. Shepard activated his radio.

"Navigator Pressly, I need you to review the security feed from the cargo bay before and during the blackout, see where our stowaway came from." He gestured to Kaidan Alenko who'd come closer.

"We have a casualty?" the Lieutenant asked.

"Unknown woman appeared in the cargo bay during the black out. Doctor Chakwas might need your help."

They walked into the medbay after the soldiers who'd taken the woman in had left it again. "Back to your posts, soldiers."

They obeyed swiftly. Ashley Williams appeared and followed Shepard into the medbay.

"I took this from the woman." She was holding a handgun.

"Good reaction, Williams. Store it under key and make sure no one touches it yet." Once it was just him, Kaidan and the doctor in the medbay, he was able to focus on the woman.

She was in a bad state - a lot of her clothing was torn and there was more burns and blood than skin under them. Her red hair was sticking to her forehead with congealed blood, her eyes were opened but unfocused.

Doctor Chakwas removed the woman's clothes with medical shears while Alenko scanned her with his omnitool. Shepard picked up a piece of the clothes.

"Those are Alliance fatigues." He checked around her neck and pulled a chain with dogtags over the woman's head. The characters on it made him pause.

**_Shepard, Jane_ **

"Pulse is rapid, blood pressure's very low, she's going into shock," Kaidan provided.

_**N7 5923-AC-2826** _

"I'll set up an IV with synth blood," the doctor said as she busied around the bed. "Monitor her breathing, Lieutenant. Commander, any medical warning?"

_**A pos** _

"Commander?"

Shepard shook himself out of his confusion.

"No. She's A+, not that it matters"

When he stepped closer to the woman, but out of the way of the medics, her gaze crossed his before wandering to the doctor.

"Doc Chakwas?" she croaked.

The physician froze for a second before proceeding with the IV.

"You're safe, child. We're going to take good care of you," she explained in a comforting voice as she cleaned the skin of the patient's arm and looked for a vein.

"And Kaid... figured you'd be here," the red head added before closing her eyes with a weak smile.

The Lieutenant exchanged a look of confusion. "Do you know her?" Shepard asked.

"Never seen her before, that I remember. But with all that blood..."

"Doctor, have you seen this woman before?"

"Not on this ship. Now, may we have this conversation *after* I stabilize her?" the doctor lectured as she placed an oxygen mask on the woman's face. "She's out of it. Probably for the best, she had to be in pain. Now gentlemen, I'll need you to leave the room while I clean her and inspect her wounds."

 

Liara, who'd come out of her quarters upon hearing the tumult, followed them into the crew quarters. Ashley had come back from securing the gun, and Tali and Garrus had come up, probably out of curiosity. Wrex, unsurprisingly, hadn't bothered.

"We're going to need a lot of coffee," Sheppard sighed as he made his way to the commissary and typed an order for a pot full of coffee. "Well, not you two," he said looking at Garrus. "Or the Lieutenant," he conceded, knowing that the caffeine made the biotic's migraines worse.

"Navigator Pressly, I'd like to meet you in the Comm Room in 5. Prepare the video feed please," Shepard asked into his headset. "Williams, can you bring the woman's weapon up there?"

"Aye aye, skipper."

Shepard looked at the ship's clock - it was 1602. The Normandy functioned on a 24:00 Earth hours clock, although the notions of day and night didn't quite apply. His shift, and that of his closest crew, had just ended, but he knew it would be a long time before they could rest.


	3. Chapter 2

Turns out, the afterlife looked strikingly like the medbay of the former Normandy. She'd woken up there only once before - after she'd touched the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. She recognized it with certainty nonetheless - she'd spent hours there, either waiting for a wounded crew member to get better, or just chatting up the doctor.

Doctor Chakwas was examining scanner results at her desk, a few feet away. A soldier whose face had been familiar, but whose name had been lost to time, stood by her bed.

Death felt like heavy painkillers, and so Jane Shepard felt good.

"Doctor, she's awake."

The medbay clock said 22:22. Doctor Chakwas typed a few keys on her monitor before walking up to Jane.

"Doctor Chakwas, it's good to see you again." Jane mumbled.

The doctor seemed startled.

"Are you feeling allright?"

"I'm feeling high."

The older woman chuckled, but quicKly became serious again.

"Why are you calling me that?"

"Doctor Chakwas? Would you rather I called you Karin? I've explained before why I wouldn't, but I suppose those rules don't apply here any more."

"What's your name?"

It was Shepard's turn to frown.

"I'm Jane. We've worked together for years. Have you forgotten everything that happened before?"

"I'm afraid I don't remember you. But don't worry, I'm sure we'll find an explanation soon."

"Why did I wake up in the medbay, of all places?"

"Do you remember your accident?"

"Firing the Crucible? Yes, I do..."

The doors slid open and a tall, muscular soldier entered. Jane remembered seeing him before with Kaidan. He had a look of authority and a distinctive scar on his hairline.

"How's our patient doing, doctor Chakwas?"

"She's recovering from her physical ordeal surprisingly well, but I'm afraid she's a bit confused. She claims to have served on the Normandy for years."

"I was assigned to the SSV Normandy SR-1 in 2283 under Captain Anderson, and became Captain of the ship a few weeks later. I took command of the Normandy SR-2 in 2285 and captained her until my death in 2287."

The doctor and the man exchanged a look. The doctor's was one of contained fear, while the man's was one of barely hidden anger. He clenched his fists like Jane did when she was annoyed.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Who the hell are _you_ , to interrogate me this way? This is _my_ ship, and this is _my death_ , and though I can understand why my former crew is here, I have no idea what the hell you're bothering me for. What are you, Saint Peter? Are you here to decide whether I should go to hell or purgatory?"

The man shook his head in disbelief, then gestured to the doctor, who fiddled with her IV. The man braced himself on the bed's railing, towering over Jane, who glared back at him.

"I'll come talk to you when you've settled down. Don't think you're going to get away with any of this. We're going to find out who you are, what you want, and how you appeared aboard my ship."

"I'm Jane fucking Shepard," she said to the man's back as he walked away. The edge of her vision started to blur. "First human fucking Spectre, saviour of the fucking Citadel—" Someone turned off the lights. "— and of the whole... goddamn... galaxy..."

She slept.


	4. Chapter 3-and-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There, chapter numbering solved

The Normandy Comm Room

"I'm going to ask a stupid question, Captain, but I'm at my wits' end here, Sir."

"Go on, Commander," Captain Anderson replied in a voice distorted by the comm system.

"Is the Normandy equipped with any kind of... teleportation device? Or does the Alliance possess any such device?"

"Teleportation? Hell, Shepard, the Normandy's got the best and the newest technology of both the Alliance and the Hierarchy, but what you're asking for is... unheard of. I'm not versed enough in science to say it's impossible, but well, if it wasn't, you'd think the Asari would have discovered it a long time ago. Why are you asking?"

Shepard cleared his throat and looked at Pressly, Chakwas and Alenko, who he'd invited to the exchange.

"We've got a bit of a situation here. Nothing immediately dangerous, but it seems that we've got ourselves a stowaway. The thing is, she appeared out of the blue during a power blackout, which we haven't been able to explain either. The Normandy's VI is positive that there were 55 people-sized life signs on board before the power fluctuations, and 56 afterwards. We were in the middle of nowhere, between two systems. No other ship in the vicinity."

Anderson's hologram frowned.

"I assume you have interrogated her?"

"I have, but she's not making much sense. She seems to think she's dead and I'm Saint Peter. Strangely, she was wearing Alliance-issue fatigues, the remnants of an N7 armor, a handgun that doesn't seem to exist in any catalogue. And to top it all she was badly wounded, mostly shrapnel wounds and burns from laser weapons and an explosion. Needless to say, we didn't have any fight or explosion on board."

"Any dogtags?"

Shepard nodded. "I almost wish she hadn't had any. Her dogtags present her as Jane Shepard, she has my matricule, same blood group and birthdate as me. Looks like some sick joke. Oh, and amidst her delirium, she also seems to think she's basically a female version of me, and claims to have served under you aboard the Normandy."

"I don't like the sound of this, Shepard. Can I see a picture of her?"

Shepard projected a picture Chawkas had taken while the patient was asleep. Anderson shook his head. "I don't know her. You should send me her DNA results and I'll have it checked against the Alliance registry."

"If I may," doctor Chakwas interrupted, "I've found more."

Shepard gestured to her to take his place. The woman nodded to Anderson's hologram and waved about a pad. "Captain. I was surprised at her rate of healing, giving the severity of her wounds, so I ran advanced tests, and she seems to have been cybernetically enhanced in several manners, including skin weaves, bone weaves, improved neural transmitters. She also has a very advanced omnitool interfaced to her body, unlike anything I've seen before. Captain, someone's invested millions of credits worth of technology in her. She's been enhanced beyond what even the Alliance could offer, as far as I'm aware."

"Thank you, doctor. Commander Shepard, this is increasingly worrying. I am in no position to give you orders, but I suggest you bring your stowaway to Arcturus Station. Nobody invests that much in someone to do good deeds. Whether she's lying or truely confused, she's dangerous. She should be kept under guard, and I'd rather the other Council species didn't hear about our little security incident."

Shepard, who'd stepped back in front of the camera, braced himself against the railing. He'd been hoping that Anderson would share his opinion that the intruder was dangerous. But somehow, now that he'd heard what he was hoping for, he felt loath to give up the woman so swiftly.

"Captain, I'll consider your opinion. I haven't made up my mind yet. I feel like this woman's appearance is bound to be related to our mission against Saren. She may be a spy. She may be indoctrinated like Benezia. We know to be wary of her, and she could be a source of insider information. We're on our way to Virmire right now, and we can't waste time anyway. The STG team seemed to be in distress."

"I understand," Anderson said with a touch of skepticity. "Saren is our priority. Please be careful, and get in touch after you've dealt with Virmire. Anderson out."

Shepard turned to his crew. "Doctor Chakwas, you'll send the DNA data to the captain, will you? You're all dismissed. Lieutenant, wait. Still don't remember where she knows you from?"

The young man shook his head as the other two left the room. "If she's been sent to spy on us, I'd expect her to have researched the crew of the Normandy. But why didn't she recognize you? And what's up with 2287? I've got a theory-- no, it's stupid."

"Come on, Alenko, I wouldn't ask your opinion if I didn't care for it."

They both sat down in the room's swivelling chairs.

"I think she's truly confused. Perhaps she was sent here on a mission to spy on us, but something went wrong during the... teleportation, transport, whatever. Hence the burns and lacerations. And when she woke up, she truely believed that she was whatever persona she was meant to adopt. Jane Shepard."

The door pinged, and indicated that Tali was behind, so Shepard let her in.

"Commander Shepard, I've studied her omnitool as you asked me, and I've found something... some things," she insisted on the plural, "really disturbing. I've taken the liberty to bring Garrus with me, but I think you should call Doctor T'soni too. And Joker. They're all involved."

Shepard raised an eyebrow in surprise, but pinged Liara accordingly, asking her to join them. "Joker is needed at his post, but I'll feed him our conversation," he explained as he set it up from his omni-tool.

When Liara had joined them and Joker was connected, Tali started explaining, projecting relevant data on the main screen.

"First of all, her omnitool is Alliance-issued, although customised, and is registered to your ID, Commander, which as you know is technically impossible. The omnitools are quantum-ID'd. No two omnitools can be registered to the same person. I mean, unless they were to have one in each arm, but then it'd still be _one_  omnitool and... I'm blabberring. Anyway, she has your omnitool. Or you have her omnitool. They're one and the same. It can't be hacked."

"Well, seems like it has," Shepard interrupted. "No offense, but that's, well, impossible. So they're not the same. They just... look that way."

He'd have sworn Tali was scowling, which given her helmet, was an impressive feat for him. Or maybe she was just scowling _that_  hard.

"How about this, Commander?" she asked, pointing at the screen behind him.

"What the f— what?" Alenko sputtered. Shepard turned around. The screen displayed a picture of Kaidan Alenko and the red-haired woman, sitting with their arms around each other's shoulders at a table. They were both holding beer bottles and the woman seemed to be toasting the camera. The lake in the background revealed that the scene took place in the presidium.

"I've never— this has never— I've... I don't know what this is, Commander, I swear this has never happened!" the Lieutenant tried to explain.

"It's normal, Lieutenant Alenko," Tali said with what sounded like glee. "This picture was taken a month from now. This is the raw data," she added, displaying figures and letters that Shepard, with his technological background, was able to decypher. Tali was right about the date.

"And there's more." The data was replaced by a medium-quality vid of a beautiful scene beach. Two figures in armor were trudging in calf-deep, turquoise water in a lagoon surrounded by lush cliffs. "When we're done with Saren, I'm booking a ten-day holiday on Virmire," a woman's voice said. The tallest figure turned around, and they recognized Garrus. "I don't know, Commander. Isn't this weather a bit hot for humans? I thought you'd rather go back to Noveria. What do you think Doctor?" The camera focused on the second figure - Liara, who gave Garrus a stern look. "Spirits, Liara, I completely forg—"

This was the end of the vid.

Liara took a deep breath. Garrus hid his face in his hands.

"This vid was filmed 30 hours from now," Tali said.

"In the future," Shepard stated uselessly.

"In the future."

Tali displayed more pictures.

Joker and Tali playing with model ships in a strange room.

Kaidan cooking steak, chatting with Engineer Adams.

An unknown, dark-skinned woman playing chess with Liara (and winning, if her fist-pumping was to be believed).

Garrus, sporting a huge bandage, and a Salarian posing in front of a neon sign saying _Afterlife_.

Liara, a very buff soldier and the woman, looking grim, posing in front of a huge planet floating in the background, covered in glowing lights.

"Wait," Garrus said. "Is that... that's Palaven. That's my homeworld, as seen from our moon, Menae. But what are those lights?"

"I don't know. The picture was taken three years in the future. There are many more pictures. Some of Rannoch, the Quarian homeworld. I couldn't make sense of many of them. Plenty of strangers, but you don't appear in any of them, Commander. Nor does Wrex, or Chief Williams, for that matter, except in that one."

She displayed a picture of the woman framed between Ashley and Kaidan at the footsteps of the Presidium tower, with Captain Anderson. But for the woman standing in his place, it was exactly similar to the one Tali had taken right after he was made Spectre.

"This one was taken by my omnitool and transferred to hers. On the same date and at the same time, give or take a few seconds, that I took yours," Tali said.

Shepard scratched the back of his neck.

"Well. What the hell. I'm not sure what to say. Are there older pictures?"

"I wasn't sure you'd want me to show them."

"Go on, Tali. It's hardly going to make the situation any stranger."

A picture a little redhead girl in knee-high grass, holding a wicker basket in one hand and a tinfoil-covered egg in another, in front of a yellow prefabricated building. A balding man with a red beard was looking at her, bent forward, his hands resting on his knees.

"This is the oldest picture I could recover."

Shepard recognized his childhood home and his father. He didn't say a word and gestured at Tali to move on.

The redhead girl, now 10. Freckles. Holding a certificate saying "1st prize in Mindoir Junior Techno Challenge" and showing off the neon blue omnitool he'd won.

Several pictures showing the aftermath of the slavers attack, absolutely identical to those on his own omnitool.

The redhead, looking determined, in the Alliance Academy uniform, on her first day of enlistment. Shepard didn't need to see the raw data. April 11th, 2172, his, her 18th birthday.

Her graduation from N7.

A parting picture taken before her station at Akuze, with Seiko, Abdillah and Lynda. His old friends.

A self portrait of the bruised and scabbed woman lying in an hospital bed, a grim set to her mouth, holding a frame with the shitty medal he'd managed to earn for being the only one not to die

on Akuze.

"That's enough, Tali." He switched off the display from his own omni-tool. Silence took over the room, but for the sound of his fingers playing on the armrest of his chair. Garrus fidgeted in his chair. Liara cleared her throat.

"So..." Joker's voice sounded over the PA system. "Does anyone else get a "evil twin from a parallel universe" vibre from this?"

"Joker," Garrus chided.

"Hey, I'm just saying—"

"I didn't want to be the first to say it, but I can't think of another explanation," Tali added.

"I can see how you two'd end up playing with model ships together," Kaidan said. "You are worse than teenagers."

"Why evil?" Liara asked. "I haven't had an occasion to converse with her yet, but from these pictures... I can't picture myself being friends with an evil version of the Commander. I'm sure all of us would say the same."

"No, no, it's just a... human media trope," Joker tried to explain. "I'm saying, she's the opposite gender, maybe she's the opposite morality too."

"This isn't a vid, Joker," Shepard said. "This is real life—this is _my_ goddamn life... damn, we need more time to sort this out, but we've got to worry about Saren first. I'll try to... talk to her more. See if I can make ends or tails of this."

"We've got more than three shifts until Virmire, Commander," Joker chimed in.

"Thank you. You're all dismissed—I'm aware most of you are usually sleeping at this time. I will see the woman again tomorrow at 06:00; if any of you want to speak to her, you might as well come. Meet me in the cafeteria."


	5. Chapter 5

Jane woke again, and again she was in the old Normandy's medbay.

But this time, it wasn't all white and fluffy. The lights had been turned down as was customary during the Normandy's "night" shift.

She hurt. Her skin was burning, her medical gown chafed everywhere it touched her, her right hip and knee were throbbing. When she tried to bring her hands up to her face to check them for injuries, she realized they'd put her in restraints.

She looked to Chakwas' desk, but the woman wasn't there. Despite the pain and stiffness in her neck, she turned her heard to the other side and saw two marines watching over her, their guns unholstered. She examined their weapons and quickly came to the conclusion she was not fighting her way out of here. She looked up at their faces. Two more ghosts.

"Chief Williams. Ensign Waaberi." The women straightened but kept silent. "Could you untie me please?"

"I'm sorry Ma'm, but we're under orders not to let you go," Williams answered.

"Under whose orders, Chief?"

"We're also under orders not to answer your questions," Williams said, avoiding Jane's eyes.

"The man with the scar," Jane said.

The soldiers exchanged a fleeting look.

"You were always good at following orders," Jane said with a half-smile. "You were also distrustful of strangers. And you think I'm a stranger, right? Even Karin Chakwas doesn't know me. Even when I told her my name."

The clock said 05:57.

"I'm Jane Shepard, but I don't suppose that means anything to you."

The marines remained still and quiet.

"I don't know where I am. Well, I do, but in my memories, the SSV Normandy SR-1 was destroyed years ago, over Alchera. I know this isn't the same ship. So how the hell are you standing here, Williams? I was on Earth. Well, I was in the Citadel, in the orbit of Earth. Over London, with Admiral Anderson. We were fighting Reapers. I was supposed to die. And then I was here. On my old ship, with my old crew."

Jane hoped the name-droppings would help Ashley trust her. Could _she_ trust Ashley, if this was Ashley? She had no idea, but this was the closest thing to a plan she had.

"In my memories, Karin died, almost a year ago. Major Alenko was dead, too. So, you see, when I saw them here, I thought this was heaven. Or, purgatory. You told me you believed in God. I didn't, but when I saw myself surrounded with departed friends... I thought maybe you'd been right."

She felt the tell-tale sensation in her nose and sinus, and within a few seconds tears ran down the sides of her face. She sniffled. She couldn't even wipe her nose. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears kept coming.

"I'm so fucking tired, Ashley. I don't care what happens. I don't want to fight. I've fought enough. I'm not going to fight you, or the man with the scar. I just want... nothing. I want peace and quiet. I'll do what you guys want."

The women shuffled. Jane wanted to go to sleep, but something made her open her eyes. The lights were full on now, and they were all standing around her bed, the man with the scar, Tali, Liara... Kaidan. The doctor in the background. The marines had stepped back but stayed vigilant.

The man with the scar unbuckled her left arm, then her right arm.

"We started off on the wrong foot. Let's try to do this again. My name is John Shepard."


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard and his group moved to the dining area, which was empty at this hour. Jane Shepard – and it was still weird to think of her as Jane Shepard – limped her way to the cupboards. Kaidan gave him a look but he gestured to let her do.

Liara and Tali sat down at a table, but positioned to keep an eye on the woman. Shepard gestured at Alenko and Williams to join them, and they sat down at opposite ends of the same table.

Jane stood on her tiptoes, reached deep into the cupboard and pulled out the container of ground coffee he'd hidden there, behind the tin of disgusting tea that nobody ever used.

"You've got to be kidding me," he whispered in disbelief.

She turned to him with a half smile and murmured "I'll buy you some more next time we stop at the Citadel."

"You've been holding out on us, Skipper?" Williams teased him.

"It's not even that good, it's more of a nostalgia thing. And they don't sell it on the Citadel," he countered.

"They do," Jane replied, "in Khitoi ward, but it's a small store that specializes in Batarian delicacies. A drell friend found it for me." She started a pot of coffee.

"I don't know any drell."

"You will, two years from now. Except I'm not sure I'm gonna let that happen."

"Why not?"

"You'd have to die to get there." She carried a bunch of mugs to the table. "At least, that's what happened to me." She went back for the coffee pot, and also picked up a bottle of Garrus' juice from the fridge. Then she sat down, leaving empty seats on each side of her, and one in front.

"You look good for someone who died... what, twice so far?" he said as he sat opposite her.

"You know how Gran said you had nine lives like a cat after you fell off that wall and hit your head on the concrete? Well, I figure after that incident, the slavers' attack, Akuze, the destruction of the SR-1 and the Crucible, I've still got four to go."

Doctor Chakwas had sat to her left, and she gestured with her head to Garrus to sit down.

"Come on, stop brooding in the corner, Vakarian. I know it's hard to believe, but we used to be good friends, in my former life. Universe. Thing. Whatever happened. What's your interpretation of things, Shepard?" She poured herself a mug and took a deep sniff of it, just like he did when no one was watching.

"My? ... I was hoping **you** could make things clearer. We had a general back out on the Normandy and when the lights came back on, we had a bleeding, burned woman in the cargo bay. I hope you understand why I was slightly hostile at first."

She nodded. "I would have done the same. This is the shortest summary of things I can come up with: I was fighting the Reapers after they invaded the Milky Way in April 2286. I fired a gigantic weapon called the Crucible, meant to destroy the Reapers. It was our last hope. Everything exploded, which was more or less planned, but then instead of dying I seem to have traveled back in time, except that on top of time travel, this also seems to be an alternate universe where I have been replaced by a handsome hunk with a scar."

Kaidan made a sound in his throat, and from the corner of his eye Shepard saw Williams struggle to hide a smile.

He sighed. "Listen, lady, every instinctual part of me want to throw you in a cell and leave you there. But I've looked at the facts, and every rational part of me want to trust you. I'll be honest, I've never been so torn over someone."

"I know. I understand. It's easier for me, because I'm mostly on known ground." She took a sip from her mug. "And I've already lost everything anyway. It's hardly like things could get any worse for me."

Shepard poured himself a mug of coffee, and Garrus reached for his bottle. Jane looked thoughtfully at Liara. He realized she was having an idea.

"There's one way I can think of to gain your trust... if you trust Dr T'Soni, that is."

The asari seemed to fluster at the mention of her name. Shepard looked at her, then at his... twin?

"What are you thinking of?"

"Embracing eternity!" she said with an overly dramatic tone, and made herself giggle, then wince in pain. "Shit, I shouldn't laugh.”

"Oh," the archeologist said. "That would make sense."

"We've done it before a few times, although I was never fond of the process..."

Liara stood up. "Let's do it," she said with a determination that surprised everyone.

"Right now?" Shepard said.

"Why not? She won't be able to lie to me, if we do it. That way we can get the whole trust debate out of the way and focus on the more important thing."

"That would be...?" Ashley inquired.

"That would be the part where the galaxy is invaded by Reapers, Chief Williams. Remember the Reapers? Giant sentient ships that managed to brainwash both a powerful asari matriarch and a respected turian Specter into serving them?" Liara replied curtly.

She'd made her way to Jane, who stood up with pain. Liara put her hands on the woman's arms to help stabilize her. Without any more words, perhaps embarrassed by Jane's parody, she stared at her, and soon her pupils dilated and her eyes turned dark. Jane's eyes had a dazed look in them, and her mouth went slack. John wondered if he looked as silly when they did this.

This went on in silence for almost a minute, and then Liara let go of Jane with an audible gasp.

"Oh no. No, no, no..." she only said as she stepped back.

Jane shook her head as if to clear it, and then wobbled on her feet, catching herself on the back of a chair.

"I'm feeling weird," she only had time to say before collapsing in the arms of doctor Chakwas, who had foreseen the fainting spell. John rushed to help the doctor and they carried her back to the medbay.

"This is bad, this is really bad," they heard Liara before the medbay's door slid closed.

They deposited Jane on a bed.

"I'm fine," she mumbled as the doctor scanned her with her omni-tool.

"My ass," he whispered.

"Your own ass," she talked back. "Wait, that's what you said..."

"Just rest, Jane."

"She'll be fine," the doctor said as she set up another IV. "She's dehydrated and hypotensive. She needs rest and restorative fluids."

"Told you'm fine."

"Will be fine, Jane. Future tense," he corrected her.

Through the medbay's window they heard a commotion, and John saw that Ashley and Kaidan were up, and seemed upset.

"You should go check on them, Commander. I'll stay with her."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley finds out she died in Jane's past. Jane & John plan not to let it happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I only notice typos once I've posted a chapter??? Freezed? Chawkas??

"What's going here?" John asked in his most authoritative voice as he came back in the dining area.

"I'm sorry, Commander, this is my fault," the asari said immediately. "I said things I shouldn't have said."

"Oh yes you should have said them," Ashley exclaimed, "unless you don't think my death is important?"

"You're not going to die, Williams!" Kaidan said.

"Quiet, everyone. What is it about you dying, Williams?" John asked.

The young woman crossed her arms.

"I'm going to die on Virmire," she said as she pace around the room. "That's what the doctor saw in her... vision, or whatever."

John sighed. Yes, great. "Doctor?"

"I shouldn't have said it the way I did. But I wanted to make sure this didn't happen this time," Liara explained. "And Wrex died too, from what I saw."

John massaged his brow. Not even half past six in the morning.

"Okay, everyone sit back down." He waited until all his crew was seated around the table. "Good. Okay, whatever happened in... Jane Shepard's... timeline, is not going to happen this time. Because we have intel she didn't have, and I'll be able to take the appropriate decisions."

"I'm not sitting this one out, Sir," Ashley said with a look of determination.

"That's not your decision to make."

"Yes, Sir." She looked down.

"Shepard, you shouldn't be up already," he heard the doctor say behind him. Jane came, still in her medical gown, wheeling an IV stand behind her. She sat down at her previous seat and gave the doctor an exaggerated smile.

"See, doctor Chakwas, I'm not up anymore."

The doctor rolled her eyes with a gesture of discouragement.

"Leave this to me, doctor," John said.

The older woman went back to the medbay, shaking her head in disapproval. John turned back to the redhead, who met his gaze.

"How long do we have until Virmire?"

"A little over 12 hours."

"Shit, that's short."

"Yes it is. Okay, everyone to the comm room. Alenko, get some sugary food for her. Jane Shepard, you're going to tell us exactly what happened when you went to Virmire."

 

Jane Shepard's mission report took an hour and a half. It was done with just the right amount of details, and yet concision, that John put in his own mission reports – unsurprisingly. She'd even drawn a crude map of Saren's base, regretting that her actual mission report had been destroyed alongside most her original omnitool in the destruction of the first Normandy.

"There's not much we can do in the way of the AA guns," Jane explained. "Their controls are deep into the rock cliffs, so you'll have to land the Mako and deactivate them on foot. However, you can avoid the whole Wrex fiasco."

"I'll talk to him about Saren's plan before we land. Give him some time to absorb the information."

"Good idea, but don't try to sweet-talk him. That was my mistake. I tried to argue that these krogan weren't his people, but that didn't really move him. If I've learned one thing from interacting with krogan, it's that they don't respect kindness. Go hard on him. Tell him how Saren will use his krogan army as slaves. Don't hold back anything."

"I'll do that. As for Ashley—"

"That'll be easy," she interrupted, looking up at the young marine who'd been unusually quiet.

"How so?"

"The only reason I had to leave her behind was because I'd split my team – I had to infiltrate, destroy the facility's AA guns and investigate Saren's plan while the salarian team prepared to destroy the base. But you don't need the info, I can tell you all I learned from the mission..."

"...so our only focus should be to destroy the base. We get in, disable the guns, then meet with..."

"Kirrahe," Jane offered.

"Kirrahe's team. So, we still need to split up," John mused.

"Yeah, but it won't take as long. You can skip the labs."

"Right." John rubbed his eyes, just as Kaidan hid a yawn behind his arm.

"I've kept you guys up for a while, haven't I?" Jane asked with a wince.

"It's fine," John said.

"How long have I been here, anyway? I'm not sure how long I was out in the medbay."

"You appeared about... 17 hours ago," Kaidan calculated.

Her eyebrows rose. "Only? Wow." She paused. "24 hours ago I was in London. It's so... unreal. I'm not entirely convinced this isn't just a dream fueled by guilt."

Liara was looking at her. "I was there. I saw it – such... destruction."

"You died there."

"I saw that too," Liara said soberly.

"Wait," Ashley said, "just out of curiosity, Ma'am... how many crew-members did you lose?"

Jane's face went blank. "After you and Wrex, 20 people died when the Normandy went down over Alchera. Well, before that there were about 500 casualties when Saren attacked the Citadel-- but you said crew. I went MIA for two years and the Alliance was distrustful of me, so I made up my own crew for the second Normandy. I lost Garrus on the Collector ship—"

The turian pulled uneasily at his cowl.

"—as well as several people you don't know." She turned to the Quarian. "Tali died on Rannoch after the Geth destroyed the Quarian fleet. Kaidan died on the Citadel—"

"Ok, we get it—" John tried to stop her.

"—ironically, at the hand of another Alliance soldier, when he got between me and Udina. By the way, don't trust that sleaze bag."

John's mouth fell. The whole room was silent for a few seconds. "Okay," John finally said. "We'll need to have a conversation about the whole Normandy destruction thing. And Udina."

"But let's focus on the immediate concern," Jane said.

"Virmire."

"I'll need a new armor – I think Ashley's old armor should fit, the one you had on Eden Prime, have you kept it?"

"Wait, you think you're coming?" John asked. The woman looked at him in disbelief.

"I know the place."

He pointed to the IV drip next to her. "You've not recovered."

"I'm fine."

"Shepard, I'm you. I know you'd say that even if you were dying of internal bleeding, because that's what **I** would say."

She squinted at him.

"You can try to play me all you want. I can practically read your mind," he added.

"What am I thinking of?"

"You're thinking of sneaking off the ship once my team's gone. Do I have to put you under guard again?"

"Damn it." She banged a fist on the table and then winced in pain, cradling it in her other hand. John pointed at it with a meaningful glance. "Oh, shut up!" she added with a pissed-off look.

Kaidan snickered and she directed her glare at him.

"You can sit with Joker and we'll stay in radio contact during the mission," John offered in an attempt at reconciliation.

She huffed and refused to look at him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy lands on Virmire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter for their arrival on Virmire

A few hours later, while Joker flew the Normandy to the designated drop off area, Shepard and his landing team were getting ready to be launched in the Mako. Like Jane had done, he'd chosen to go with Garrus and Liara. If that part of her mission had gone right, he had no reason not to emulate her. He understood her pick: the turian was rather handy with the Mako's guns, and John liked to have a biotic by his side.

The Mako landed in a splash of water. The landscape was like in the vid Tali had extracted from Jane's omnitool: white sand, crystal-clear turquoise water, rounded granite cliffs overflowing with greenery. It was gorgeous.

John drove the Mako expertly. Liara spotted for Garrus – who occasionally shot down a geth before she could point it to him.

"It looks wonderful. No wonder she wanted to come back. It reminds me of Ha Long bay, on Earth," John commented.

"Is that where you grew up?" Liara asked politely.

"No, I've never been to that continent. I've only spent a few months on Earth for combat training."

Liara seemed surprised. "I'd assumed you were from Earth, Commander. Sometimes I forget how quickly your species has spread through the galaxy. When I was your age, your people hadn't even discovered Mass Relays yet."

They reached the first gate Jane had told them about. After shooting down a geth colossus, John parked the Mako near the stairs. Jane's voice came up on the radio.

"OK, I've got the video feed from the Mako. The controls for the AA turrets are at the end of a corridor, up the stairs. Expect some resistance, but not much, 3 or 4 geth."

"Oh, just 3 or 4 geth, nothing to worry about," Garrus mocked as they climbed off the vehicle, guns at the ready.

"Believe me, Scarface, in a few years that's going to be an appetizer for you."

"Am I Scarface?" John asked, absently rubbing his scar.

"Er, no, I meant Garrus. Long story. Stay on your guard," Jane advised.

They heard the geth's typical chirping and after an exchange of bullets and biotics, reached the room without any more troubles. John hacked into the system and deactivated the turrets while Garrus kept watch. As they made their way back to the Mako, the turian commented:

"She said the truth, at least until now. To be honest, I was half-expecting a trap."

"Yeah, I wasn't sure what to expect either," John said. "I don't think she's an enemy, but I won't take everything she says at face value either."

"Commander," Joker's voice interrupted, "You know your radio's still on, right? And she's sitting right here?"

"He knows, Joker," Jane assured.

"Alright. Just trying to avoid a diplomatic incident here. Don't mind me."

John shook his head with a smile, and helped the asari up into the Mako. "Liara, later, if possible—"

"I'll let you see what she showed me – if that's what you wanted to ask?"

"Yes. I know how taxing it can be for you, but that'd be really helpful."

John drove the Mako, and after a few minutes, a dozen geth, and an omnigel repair stop, they arrived at the second barricade.

"Same show," Jane said on the radio. "Up the stairs, at the end of the hall. Expect some resistance."

When the second set of AA turrets was deactivated, Joker announced he was going to land as close to the STG camp as possible. On their way there, John and his team didn't encounter any more geth. They saw a couple of large tents set up in the sand not far from the building which housed Saren's medical facility. Due to the rocks close to the beach, Joker had had to land a little farther.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> human-salarian tactical exchange and banter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another ridiculously short chapter. It gets better after, I swear. I wrote a 5,600 words chapter over the last three days, I had to split it.

John parked the Mako as close to the salarian camp as he could. Kaidan, Ashley and, goddammit, Jane, were talking with the salarian leader. In the distance, Wrex was staring at Saren's base, rubbing his shotgun in anticipation.

Jane was standing in between his two humans subordinates, in fatigues borrowed from Williams. The bright daylight only accentuated her paleness and the deep purple of her bruises. She was talking to Kirrahe with a natural authority that contrasted with her simple clothing and the obvious caution expressed in Ashley and Kaidan's postures.

Kaidan, then Jane turned when they heard him, Garrus and Liara step closer.

"Here's the commander," Jane had the grace to say with deference, "he'll fill you in with the rest of the plan."

John introduced himself to Captain Kirrahe, and was glad to hear that his crew, and his stowaway, had exposed most of the plan. The salarian was impressed and confessed that he couldn't have come up with a better plan himself.

"You seem awfully well informed about the interior layout of the building," Captain Kirrahe said with a squint that might have expressed suspicion – or maybe the salarian was just blinded by the sun, John couldn't really tell. He quickly made up an explanation based on Jane's report.

"We had an informant inside the base, Saren's secretary, an asari. She's started to have doubts about what Saren's doing and has leaked enough information to let us prepare this attack."

"She's an old friend of mine," Liara added for good measure.

"So you agree to use your ship's drive core to make a bomb? Once we've cleared the place and disabled the AA guns, the Normandy can deliver the bomb right in the middle of the facility. We'll gladly take your team back to the Citadel or Sur'kesh. The Normandy's the best ship in the Alliance and the Hierarchy combined."

The salarian nodded his assent. "Given the small size of your team, it is indeed safer for you to infiltrate the back of the facility while my men and I take the front. It's a good plan."

It had been easy to volunteer the salarians for a frontal assault when they were just an hypothesis, but now that he'd seen them in person, he felt guilt creeping at him.

"You realize that your men are going to get slaughtered.''

Kirrahe's face was grim.

"We're tougher than we look, Commander. It's true, though, I don't expect many of us are going to make it out alive. That makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult."

"You want one of my team to accompany you," John predicted. Captain Kirrahe seemed surprised. "We need to coordinate, and you need someone who knows Alliance communications protocols. It makes sense."

John looked at the lieutenant and the chief. Both had volunteered to take that place when they'd planned the assault, just like they had in Jane's time. And John was tempted to make the same decision: Ashley was a better shot, had more field experience, and her abilities would be more needed than Kaidan's biotics.

A small voice came up behind him. "John, I could do it."

"You're in no state to be fighting," he replied with a single raised finger, just like his mother did when she wanted to lecture him.

"No offence, Ma'am, but you can hardly stand up," Ashley said with a wince. When he turned around, John saw that Jane was indeed leaning on Tali's arm.

"Jane, Tali, you're tasked with converting the STG drive core into a bomb."

"I'll have the ordnance loaded onto the Normandy, and brief your crew on its detonation sequencing," Kirrahe said.

"Put together a team from the Marine detachment to handle the bomb," John told Tali and Jane. "Chief Williams, you'll accompany the captain," he said, turning to her and hoping his voice remained firm. "No heroics. You know what's at stakes, and I'm getting you back alive, do you understand?"

"Aye-aye, Skipper," said Ashley with both determination and serenity. "We won't be caught unaware this time."

"My team will try to waste as little time as possible, Captain. It is of the utmost importance that you try and make your way to the bomb site – our pilot is good, but the Normandy is just too big to land anywhere else in the facility. Lieutenant Alenko, go get Wrex, you're coming with me. We'll be fighting in close quarters and your biotic abilities will come in handy." Kaidan nodded and went after the krogan. ''Garrus too. We can't be more than four, though, if we want to remain stealthy.''

"Commander, do you trust the krogan to fight his brethren?" Kirrahe asked.

"Urdnot Wrex has not forgotten, nor forgiven, what the salarians and turians did to his people after you got them to fight the rachni for you," Jane intervened. "He's not letting them be used again."

She made her way to the Normandy with Tali, and John gestured at Liara to follow them.

"I think it's time you got your men ready, Captain. Give them a little motivational speech or something."

The salarian smirked. "Are you mocking me, Commander?"

 


	10. Chapter 10: into Saren's facility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer, but is basically a replay of the Virmire mission. So will a few other chapters until we reach the end of the first Mass Effect plot. After that the story will deviate from the plots of ME2 and ME3.

John, Kaidan and Wrex made their way round the facility and, climbing a dozen feet up a half-collapsed cliff, slipped over a wall and into the facility. They did a quick comm check with Kirrahe and went on their way. At first they encountered only light resistance, a few drones in the distance, one or two geth they took down without difficulty. They came in view of a tall tower nested between the cliffs, with some sort of technical equipment. On a ramp, a geth trooper was on guard.

Crouched behind some large rocks, John activated his radio to contact Jane on board the Normandy and described the building.

"Is it worth getting closer?" he asked.

"I think it was a triangulation tower. The drones and the platforms use it to find their way around and their targets. It'd give Ashley and the salarians a better chance."

Without getting much closer, they targeted the trooper, then John and Garrus focused on the electronic equipment while Wrex and Kaidan used their biotics to levitate and destroy the geth shock troopers that came in reinforcement. When the tower was clear, they got closer for a visual check, and Wrex discharged his shotgun into the console a few times for good measure.

They then made their way north, dispatched a few rocket drones, and came upon another tower.

"A satellite uplink tower – watch out, there was a destroyer, and a krogan too," Jane warned them. They drew the enemies out with sniper fire. The krogan came last, charging out in the open, and was practically minced meat by the time Kaidan warped him. A few well placed bullets disabled the satellite uplink.

Through the radio, Ashley confirmed that they were encountering less resistance thanks to the shadow team's actions. However, they were still being hassled by geth drones. John, Kaidan, Garrus and Wrex made a detour towards their refueling platform, where a short fight with a krogan and several flyers took place. They made the fuel tanks explode, and as they continued towards the north, Kirrahe on the radio confirmed that they were not being assaulted from the air anymore.

"The bomb is ready here. Just waiting for the AA guns to be disabled," Tali came over on the radio.

"It's going to take a little longer than that," John warned. "We're not inside the building yet."

"John, once inside, I need you to describe the rooms. I'll try to guide you. The buildings were a real maze – we encountered a few dead ends," Jane explained.

They came to a bridge covered in geth shields, and guarded by snipers and krogan. They sought cover and disabled most of them from a distance, with Wrex charging at the last remaining krogan.

Jane guided them through the top of the building, warning them that the salarians they'd meet were indoctrinated, and would turn against them if freed. They picked up a few superior weapons left behind either by the salarians soldiers or the krogan, and were able to stock up on medigel and mods on a few occasions.

After going through the security office, they met another enslaved salarian who seemed more coherent – John was of mind to leave him there, but Jane remembered that he had actually been helpful and non-aggressive, and so they freed him, warning him about the imminent explosion and encouraging him to try and meet up with Kirrahe's team.

A few gun fights and an elevator ride later, they found themselves in the open again.

"Try to extend the bridge to your right, that'll take you to the breeding facility," Jane said.

"There doesn't seem to be any switch around," Garrus said.

"Damn. Okay, try the room behind the door. That's where you'll find the asari scientist. Kill her or let her go, I don't care, but don't go beyond, it's a dead end."

"Isn't that where the reaper beacon thing is?" John inquired.

They heard Jane sigh.

"Yes, it is. Do you really want a reaper to rummage through your mind, John? Because that's what's going to happen. Sovereign was capable of indoctrinating people like Saren or Benezia. Do you think you're stronger than them?"

They were silent for a moment. "Jane, are you saying you're indoctrinated? Because that's the kind of intel I'd have liked to have before I started to follow your advice."

"I don't know, okay?" Her tone was verging on hysterics. "All I know is that after Sovereign went peeping into my head, I started making bad decisions. I started being not 100% rational. Hell, after a while I started seeing things I'm not entirely convinced were there. You have nothing to gain by talking to Sovereign. Nothing."

John cut down the communication without saying a thing. In the next room, as predicted, they found a cowering asari scientist and a switch to extend the bridge. John ordered her curtly to get away. Then he gave the corridor a lingering look.

"Commander?" Kaidan asked after half a minute had gone.

"Damn it. She's only given useful intel so far. She better not make me regret this," he answered as he turned back the way they'd come from.

"We're talking too much. Let's go kill some things," Wrex said with a heavy chuckle.

Several krogans were waiting for them on the bridge, but Kaidan and Wrex sent them flying to their death. They dispatched more geth as they ran up a ramp and onto a platform leading to an elevator. Thanks to Jane's warning, they knew the elevator would open on a bunch of geth, and welcomed them with a few well-placed grenades. They exited in an open-air hall of sorts with numerous empty breeding tanks.

"The landing area for the Normandy should be across from you," Jane said. "Expect trouble. Like, rocket troopers and shock troopers. Be sure your shields are up and your guns loaded before you open that door – that was a tough fight."

They followed her advice. It took them a few minutes to dispatch the enemies. At the same time, Ashley announced that the AA towers had been disabled, and it took Joker under a minute to land the Normandy into the wide, open area.

A couple of marines carried the bomb where Jane pointed.

"Are you alright? No one was hurt?" she asked when John and his men joined her, Tali and Liara.

"It was almost a piece of cake. Wrex had a lot of fun," John commented.

"By the way, thanks for not getting me killed, or something," the krogan said. "Still not sure who you are or why anyone listens to you, but I've been told I owe you my life."

Jane shrugged. "I'd say it was a pleasure, but I haven't known you long enough to say I'd miss you if you died. But I've met Wreav, and he's not as fun as you."

John raised a finger for silence when his radio crackled to life. It was Ashley, announcing that her and Kirrahe's remaining men were stranded in the AA tower.

"No!" Jane screamed. "This... this is exactly what happened last time! What did I do wrong?"

"Relax, Jane—"

"No, you don't get it. I've had to listen to her over the radio while we detonated the bomb. While we flew away and left her there to die," Jane said, pacing around and gesticulating wildly. John caught her wrists to immobilize her.

"You were able to save Kaidan, right? So you're going to do just that again. You two, make sure the bomb's ready when we leave. Garrus, Wrex, hell, everyone else, come with me. We're getting them out of there."


	11. Chapter 11

Jane watched them leave with a dejected look, then she turned towards the Lieutenant.

"Let's arm this thing."

It took them under a minute to finish, during which time the marines guarding the location took down a few geth.

"We're good," Kaidan said with a last look over the bomb. "The detonator?"

"Got it right here. Now let's get inside the Normandy before Saren and company show up. I haven't even got armor."

"Wait, Saren's about to show up here, isn't he?" Kaidan said as he followed her to the ship.

"Glad to see _someone_ listened to my report. Everyone get your ass inside this ship right now!" she ordered the soldiers on the ground.

They looked at her without moving.

"You've got to be—"

"Everyone inside the Normandy now," Kaidan ordered. "The big bad boss is going to be here anytime and we're outnumbered."

The marines moved inside the cargo hold.

"Joker, get ready to take off as soon as John is back with the salarians," Jane said in her radio.

"I was born ready, Ma'am," the pilot answered.

Kaidan radioed the other team.

"Commander, what's your situation?"

There was no response, but they could here gunshots in the distance and grunts through the radio. He exchanged a look of worry with Jane.

"It's taking too long," she said with a frown. Just at that moment, a shadow covered the ground outside, and she recognized a sound she'd have been glad never to hear again. "Dropship!" she warned just as two dozen rockets troopers, shock troopers, a couple armatures and even a juggernaut landed just outside the Normandy.

"Close the goddamn door!" Kaidan ordered. The geth managed to hit the soldiers a few times while the cargo bay door slid closed, but their shields protected them.

"Joker, get us out of here!" Kaidan said – the Normandy was already rising out of reach of the geth weapons.

* * *

John had known Saren was a formidable enemy... But in the flesh, the turian was ten times more impressive than his reputation accounted for. John shot at him, again and again, and the turian's biotic shield absorbed the bullets like they were raindrops. As he stepped closer, John started to fear that he was truly unstoppable.

"This has been an impressive diversion, Shepard. My geth were utterly convinced that the Salarians were the real threat," the turian boasted. John saw Garrus peak out from behind his cover, but he thought better than to take a shot at the Spectre. "Of course, it was all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake."

John sought cover too, although the turian didn't seen keen to attack at the moment.

"I know more than you think, Saren. I know you bow to the Reapers because you think they can't be beaten—"

"You've seen the vision from the beacons Shepard. You of all people should understand what the Reapers are capable of — they cannot be stopped. Do not mire yourself in pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms. The Protheans tried to fight and they were utterly destroyed. Trillions dead, but what if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"

"There's a weapon—I don't know much about it, Saren, but the Reapers can be stopped. And even if we couldn't... Do you honestly believe the Reapers will let us live?”

“Now you see why I never came forward with this to the Council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We will fight even when we know we cannot win. But what if we worked with the Reapers-if we make ourselves useful-think how many lives could be spared. Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign, though I was aware of the... dangers; I had hoped this facility could protect me.”

“You’re afraid that Sovereign is controlling you,” John realized.

“I have studied the effects of indoctrination,” Saren replied. “The more control Sovereign exerts the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace. Sovereign needs me to find the Conduit. My mind is still my own... for now. But the transformation from ally to servant can be subtle. I will not let it happen to me.”

"Sovereign's manipulating you and you don't even know it! Look at yourself: you're more machine than turian!"

"No! Sovereign needs me. If I find the Conduit, I’ve been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. This is my only hope."

The Spectre was scared.

"Together we can stop Sovereign. We don't have to submit to the Reapers. We can beat them! There's a weapon—if you give us a chance—"

"I no longer believe that, Shepard. The visions cannot be denied: the Reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join with them. Sovereign is a machine, it thinks like a machine. If I prove my value, I am a resource worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion. But you would undo my work. You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation, and for that, you must die."

Saren jumped back on his hoverboard and unholstered his gun.

* * *

"John, is Saren with you?" Jane tried again. She thought she heard the turian's distorted voice, then there was a loud clanking sound in their headset. "Did you just punch Saren?"

"Punch?" Kaidan mouthed.

"Yeah. Thanks for warning me about the hoverboard, by the way."

"It didn't seem important."

"Commander, is there enough room to land the Normandy or at least move in close to your location?" Kaidan asked. "We had to evacuate the bomb site."

"I've already got them in my sight, Lieutenant," Joker interrupted. "I'll get her as close as possible."

"Can we open the cargo bay door safely?" Jane asked.

At Joker's positive answer, a soldier activated the switch. The ship hovered near the edge of the tower's top floor, giving them a good view of the ongoing fight. Shepard's team and Kirrahe's surviving men were mostly seeking cover behind convenient pillars and crates, occasionally shooting, while Saren gave his little speech and kept them at a distance with his biotics. Jane realized with pride that their team had taken down all of Saren's geth.

"He's alone," Kaidan mirrored her thought. "Everyone, target Saren. He'll never see this coming."

Just as John peeked out to shout something at Saren, the turian almost lost his balance when he was targeted by the marines from the Normandy. Unfortunately, his armor and his biotic shielded him from most of the damage, but it allowed Shepard's team and Kirrahe's men to come out of cover and focus on him. Realizing he'd lost the fight, Saren took off on his hoverboard. Most of the fighters kept shooting until he disappeared in the distance. Joker offered to chase him, but Shepard cut him off.

"We know where he's going. Our priority is to evacuate the wounded and blow this place off."

Jane and Kaidan jumped out off the cargo bay to help their friends on board. Liara was holding her left arm against her body, John was rubbing his neck, and Garrus had an arm around Ashley's shoulders. She was limping.

"Are you hurt?" Jane asked the young woman.

She shook her head with a dismissive smile. "I was stupid. I slipped in a puddle and twisted my knee, it's nothing."

Kaidan was half-carrying a salarian who was profusely bleeding. Another one had been laid on the ground, and Captain Kirrahe and one of his men were leaning over him. Jane stepped closer.

"Can I help you with anything?" Jane asked

Kirrahe looked up at her and blinked. "It's too late for him." The other closed the dead salarian's eyes and put an arm under his shoulders.

"Oh. I'll help you carry him," she said as she bent towards the dead soldier. The walk back to the ship was awkward, because of their height difference. They were the last to get aboard the ship. Two STG soldiers took the corpse from them as they reached the ramp to the cargo bay, and John pulled her up the platform.

"We did good," he said as the door closed and the Normandy took off.

Jane looked around. Doctor Chakwas was tending to the bleeding salarian. Around the room, people were removing their weapons and armor. Garrus was checking Tali's suit for cuts or holes. Navigator Pressly was feeling Liara's arm while the asari tried to reassure him that she was fine. Wrex was recounting a moment of action with wild gestures. Ashley was sitting on a crate with her leg extended in front of her, while Kaidan pulled off her leg armor carefully. The sight of the two of them brought tears to her eyes.

"Look at them," she said with a sniffle. She brought up her hand to wipe her eyes, and saw that she was still gripping the DIY detonator. She handed it to John. "You do the honors."

"Joker, get us out of the blast radius."

"Allright Commander, everybody hang on!"


	12. Chapter 12 - after Virmire

John reached Joker too late to watch the detonation, but his pilot did a turn about to let him see the cloud of smoke and dust billowing over Saren's former facility.

To think he could have had to leave one of his crew behind... He had lost men and women during his career, but it was one thing to watch a comrade die, and another to press the button that would kill them. He wasn't a stranger to sacrifice, but it never got easier, and he avoided it whenever possible.

He considered going back to look for the asari scientist, but chose to leave her behind. If she'd made it far enough from Saren's facility, then she'd be able to call for support from other settlements on the planet. She had, after all, worked with Saren. She was lucky he hadn't decided to kill her then and there.

"Take us to the Citadel, Joker."

"Aye aye."

He crossed the bridge to the comm room where Ashley, Kaidan, Liara, Garrus, Tali and Wrex were already waiting.

* * *

Jane would gladly admit it now, she felt like shit. There were only so many stims you could take before your body started to go haywire, and she knew she needed a rest - and probably another IV. However, in the medbay, Doctor Chakwas was busy trying to save a salarian's life. Jane hesitated by the door, then decided to join the ground team upstairs. Her head swam a little when she climbed to stairs to the command deck - whose brilliant idea had it been to build stairs instead of a continuous elevator? Cerberus had a lot to respond for, but at least they knew how to build a ship.

She got a few stares from the ensigns on the command deck. She suspected they'd been ordered to leave her alone unless she showed any sign of hostility, or excessive curiosity. There were even a few murmurs when she opened the comm room's door - it was locked to her omni-tool, which meant that anywhere John Shepard could go, so could she.

"Thanks, Commander," Ashley was saying, "things got pretty hot down there." She paused when she saw Jane at the door. John, who was standing at the railing as he was wont to do, gestured to her to sit in his chair.

"And I guess, thanks to you too, Ms... Ma'am?" Ashley seemed unsure how to address her.

Jane slumped in her chair and said: "I'm tempted to say, just call me Shepard, but that would just cause confusion. I've never really gone by Jane until now, but better late than never."

"Thank you... Jane."

"And from me too," Kaidan added. "If you hadn't pushed us to get inside the Normandy, we'd have been caught unaware when the ship dropped all those geth around the bombsite. You should have seen the look on the soldiers' faces when she tried to order them around," he chuckled.

"Old habits, you know how it goes," she said with a tired smile. She turned to John. "Say, Shepard, I'd like to debrief you quickly before my brain decides to shut down again."

"That'd be nice, because I'm flying blind now, I still don't know where Saren or the Conduit are."

"Ilos. Saren's going to Ilos, and that's where the Conduit is. But eventually, the Conduit will take him to the Citadel." She put a hand to her forehead when a wave of pain crashed through her skull.

"Are you alright?" John inquired, pushing himself off the railing.

"Headache. How about... I write it all down, so you can go through it later, on your way to and back from the Citadel?"

John looked at her with half-hidden worry. "You sure you can do that?"

She took a deep breath, as if to stave off pain. "I just need to lie down for a little bit."

"Liara, can you take her to the medbay?" John asked.

"No, she can tell you... about Ilos."

"I'll do it," Kaidan volunteered.

"I'll help," Garrus offered, standing up. "I'm not sure she should walk."

Jane rolled her eyes, but John nodded. "You do that. Alenko, if doctor Chakwas is still busy with the surgery, make sure Jane has everything she need. And give her a block of paper and a pen."

Garrus and Kaidan hooked an arm under each of Jane's and helped her out of the room.

"Pft," Wrex said, shaking his head, "she wasn't even wounded, was she? Humans are so weak."

"She was in a major battle just a couple days ago. She had four broken ribs and a broken pelvis, torn ligaments, as well as second degree burns on over 15% of her body. Honestly, I don't even know how she's walking. But above all, this human saved your life, Wrex. From me. So show some respect if you don't want to be kicked out the airlock," John said, pointing an accusatory finger at the soldier.

Wrex lifted his hands in a sign of surrender. Tali was silently shaking her head in disapproval. Garrus came back at that moment, slightly puzzled by the scene. John turned to the asari.

"Liara, what can you tell us about Ilos?"

"Ilos is a forgotten world. According to my research, it was once inhabited by Protheans, but nobody has been there in thousands of years because... of course! That's why Saren needed the location of the Mu relay! Ilos is only accessible through the relay."

"It makes sense now," John said with a nod. "So Ilos is our next step after the Citadel.

"Forget it," Tali said, "The Mu relay's inside the Terminus systems. Alliance ships are not welcome there; neither are Spectres."

"The Conduit's on Ilos and that's where Saren is headed. Unless Jane has a better option to offer, I'll be waiting for him when he gets there," John said. "We're dropping by the Citadel to release Captain Kirrahe and his team, and stock up on supplies and ammo, and then straight to Ilos. I bet the Council will be glad to know the Mu relay's been located. Liara, I'd like you to go through your research again, let me know if you recall anything new about Ilos. You're dismissed. Williams, have that knee checked by the doctor. After that, you and Garrus check over our weapons and armor, make a list of every thing that needs to be purchased or repaired."

"Aye aye."

* * *

Doctor Chakwas and Kaidan had helped put in a new IV for Jane, and dressing on her more open wounds and larger blisters.

"Wouldn't you rather have a datapad?" Kaidan has asked as he handed her a notepad and a pen. She'd shaken her head.

"My eyes get tired quick, and I write faster anyway. We have a shorthand code."

He'd watched her write an index on the first page, and then title the following pages in that tight cursive handwriting that wasn't so different from Shepard's, and yet unique.

1) What you need to know

2) What happened last time

3) What you mustn't do

Then he'd gone back to the command deck.

Jane had tried to work, she really had, but her headache had only worsened with the noise level. First it had been Ashley who needed her knee scanned. Then some salarians had come to wheel their unconscious companion to the cargo bay where they had settled. Everyone's voices were echoing, the lights were too bright, and when she had climbed out of bed pulling her IV stand with her, no one had noticed. She went to Liara's room, officially the medbay's storage space, and sat down at the desk.

...

"By the goddess!"

The asari's surprised cry shook Jane out of her torpor.

"What?"

"Sorry, Jane. I didn't mean to wake you up, I was surprised to see you here."

"Uh. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. Sorry, there were just so many people and noises in the medbay. I came here looking for quiet."

Liara sat on the bed, not too far from Jane.

"You're welcome to stay here, Jane. In fact, I was hoping we could talk."

Jane lifted an inquisitive brow.

"What about?"

The young asari started to wring her hands together. "About Thessia."

Jane nodded. "It's understandable. And we will talk, as much as you want to, but after we've dealt with Saren. I'd like to finish this before we reach the Citadel," she said, waving the notepad about.

Liara gave her a small smile. "You can stay here to work, if you want to."

"Is the medbay quiet now?"

"It was empty when I passed through it. I believe doctor Chakwas is on a break."

Jane went back to the medbay, climbed painfully into one of the beds (which, to be honest, were the most comfortable on the whole ship), and continued writing about Vigil.

* * *

Joker radioed him shortly after he'd sent his report to the Council. He'd chosen not to mention Jane's presence or participation. He was now reading the beginning of Jane's report on Ilos.

"Commander, there's a comm buoy nearby. I can link us in if you want to report back to the Citadel Council, you know, to warn them about Sovereign."

"Set the link up, Joker. They need to know."

The door to the comm room slid close behind him just as the holograms of the Councilors appeared.

"Commander Shepard," Tevos started. "I'm pleased to see your mission on Virmire was a success."

"Saren is formidable enough without an army of krogan serving under him," Councilor Sparatus added.

"The krogan would have served Sovereign," John corrected. "A Reaper."

"Yes," the salarian councilor said without bothering to hide his disbelief. "We saw mention of this on your report. Sovereign. A 'sentient' machine. A true artificial intelligence. This news is quite alarming... if it turns out to be accurate."

"Sovereign's a Reaper, Saren admitted it."

"He's playing you, Shepard," Sparatus said. "Saren still has contacts on the Citadel: he probably saw your earlier reports. The ones talking about your vision, and the Reapers."

John bit back a remark about the lack of security if Saren was actually able to get his hands on his top secret reports.

"It's highly possible that Saren is using false information to throw you off-balance. Our own intelligence has never turned up any corroborating information," Councilor Valern said.

They were going in circles.

"Sooner or later," John said as patiently as he could, "you're going to have to take something I say on faith, Councilor."

"Try to see this from our perspective, Commander," Tevos said, always the diplomat of the three. "Saren is a threat we can recognize. However, as far as we know, the Reapers only exist in your visions."

"Our decisions affect trillions of lives. We cannot act on the accusations of a single person, even a Spectre. Not without solid evidence," the salarian councilor added.

"The Council cannot take any official action here. That's why we created the Spectres. You have the authority to act as you see fit," Devos said.

"If you truly believe Sovereign is a real threat, you must take whatever steps are necessary to stop it, and Saren," Councilor Valern said.

"Good luck, Commander. From all of us," the asari councilor concluded.

John had to admit the council had a point, but he was still frustrated. He left the room and decided to go for a walk and chat up his crew before going back to studying Jane's report.

Ashley and Garrus were done checking on the weapons. Garrus was crouched against the mako, taking a nap.

"Hey, Skipper. Figured you'd be busy with tactical briefings and whatnot," Ashley said to greet him. "Don't know what I think about us attacking today, of all days. Kind of an ill omen."

"You mean on the anniversary of the First Contact War?"

"The end of it, yeah. My family always marks it. I'm the only Williams here. I guess you'd be the only other one interested in it."

Ashley proceeded to tell him about her roots : she was the granddaughter of General Williams, who'd fought in the First Contact war and was remembered, in the Alliance, as "the only human who ever surrendered to an alien race."

Because of this, she'd always been given crap assignments – in fact, John had been nicely surprised to see how competent she was in the field. After discussing the Alliance – and they had differing views, Ashley being bitter, while John tried (it was hard) to remain positive – he asked her how she felt about the next mission.

"We've got a hard fight ahead. Fleets of AI dreadnoughts, who've exterminated all intelligent life dozens of time over? I think the odds are against us."

"We have an advantage. We know they're coming, we know about their indoctrination, and we have someone who's already fought this war."

"I don't plan to lie down and die, Skipper. Don't worry about that. But I'm infantry. Against Reapers, my rifle may as well fire spitballs. I won't have a place in this war. That's what pisses me off. Not being able to shoot back."

"We'll find a way to make use of your skills, Ashley."

* * *

Jane woke up a second time hours later, but this time from a nightmare. It had been the Cerberus coup all over again. She'd realized it had been a dream, and she'd tried to tell Kaidan so, but it had all happened again, except that instead of James, Ashley had shot Kaidan.

She was sobbing when she woke up, but this time she was able to wipe the tears off her face. The lights were dimmed again. She took a moment to compose herself, and let out a little shriek when Kaidan asked:

"Are you alright? Shit, I didn't mean to scare you."

He was reclining on the bed to her left. She sighed.

"It doesn't take much to scare me these days. Liara scared me just a while ago."

"Yeah, she's not exactly terrifying," he chuckled.

"Why are you here?"

"Am I not allowed to check on a sick... guest?"

She examined him. After so long working together, she could see it, in the lines between his eyebrows, and hear it in his voice.

"Migraine, huh?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "Just waiting for the painkillers to kick in. And you? Nightmare?"

She lay on her side to see him better.

"I dreamed of the day you died— he died. I shouldn't call you him. I know you aren't the same person, but sometimes it's tempting to believe I travelled back in time— that I can undo what happened. It was so fast... I didn't have time to say goodbye."

She was crying again, and she couldn't care less.

"Tell me," he asked.

And Jane just told him everything.

"The first time he almost died was on Mars. We were fighting this gynoid — long story — and she just lifted him by his helmet, and smashed his head repeatedly against a shuttle. It was almost unstoppable. We shot, and shot, and when it was down I carried you to the Normandy. It was empty, we had no doctor — we couldn't go back to Earth — and during the flight to the Citadel, all I could do was watch you die on this hospital bed.

"You looked awful. I knew you were bleeding inside, but there was nothing I could do. You were the closest thing to a doctor we had. You were unconscious during the whole journey. So white, I could have thought you were dead. All I could do was hold your hand and talk to you.

"We'd just been reunited after many months apart. It felt so unfair. We hadn't had time to talk. You'd just watched your city being destroyed by Reapers. It was... too much, too fast.

"And then we reached the Citadel, and they did a miracle. The docs at Huerta— they brought you back to life. No sequels. You spent weeks in the hospital, but at least you were alive. You still looked awful in the beginning though. And you wanted back on the field immediately. I visited you when I could. Sneaked in wine."

She was smiling now. So was he.

"Udina wanted you to become a Spectre. I wanted you to accept. I thought it'd be great, the both of us fighting together, the first human Spectres. I encouraged you to say yes. I didn't realize he just wanted his own little Spectre. I'd never been obedient enough for him.

"He turned against us. Turns out he'd been working with Cerberus for a while, and he helped them attack the Citadel."

"What for?" Kaidan asked.

"I still don't know. To this day I have no idea what went through his or Tim's minds. I know Tim – the head of Cerberus – was indoctrinated, I don't know about Udina, but I do know he wanted the Council assassinated. I think. It's hard to tell. But it came to a head in the Presidium. We'd just saved the salarian Councillor's life, and I tried to stop Udina. You were protecting him and the other two Councillors. I tried to convince you he was with Cerberus. He tried to convince you /I/ was with Cerberus. And because of my antecedents with Cerberus, you believed him.

"I couldn't have shot you. I don't think I could. But you were about to shoot me, and my teammates — James — well, they did their job.

"It was so fast. One second you were standing there, the next— a neat little bullet hole in your head. Just like that. No time to— talk, to say— "

She choked on her tears.

"I shouldn't be telling you that. I shouldn't be calling him you either. I must remember you're not him. But you look so much like him..."

She wiped her tears with a corner of the pillow case and stared at the ceiling. Kaidan had turned on his side while she told her story.

"You and I," he started. "You and him. You... you weren't just friends, were you?"

She remained quiet for a bit, then said: "No, we weren't just friends. We were lovers for a bit. But things... Things came in the way. We could have had a good thing, Kaid and me. But I died, and then I came back just when he started to get over me. I was... I worked with Cerberus for a while. Not that I had a choice. He was Alliance to the core. It was hard for both of us, I believe. And then the Reapers reached the Galaxy, and we had more pressing issues.

"I guess most of the reason I feel so heartbroken over this is that, in different circumstances, I believe we could have been

very happy together. I used to imagine a life for us after the war."

"How... how did it start?" Kaidan asked. "The two of you... what with fraternization rules? I mean, I can understand why I'd be attracted to you, but it's just... so much at stake?"

She smiled again.

"Well, at this point we had already stolen the Normandy from the Alliance and were about to go on what may well be a suicide mission. Fraternization didn't seem like such a big deal at the time."

"We stole the Normandy? Come on, you can't stop at that!"

She sat up in bed. "Which reminds me, before we reach the Citadel, I need to warn Shepard not to talk to the Council. They're going to forbid us from going to Ilos and put the Normandy on lockdown."

"Oops," Kaidan said.

Jane stared at him. "What do you mean, oops?"

"We're already docked at—"

The PA system came to life, slightly muffled through the bulkhead, but still audible. " _Logged: The Commanding officer stands aboard. X.O. Pressly stands relieved._ "

She rubbed at her eyes with a sigh. "It's okay. I was hoping we could skip this step, but there's still a way out."

"So... we're grounded?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah. Ok, I'll go see Joker. You might want to hang around Shepard's locker. He's going to need someone to talk to."


	13. Chapter 13 - Grounded

John was glad to see the second floor was empty. He'd stormed in in a rage, but he didn't want his crew to see him in that state. He kicked at his locker, then slumped on the floor, resting his back against it.

The medbay's door slid open, and he made out Jane's silhouette walking towards the stairs. Kaidan came out after her, but he turned towards John. He wondered if it had happened to Jane too? He should have woken her before leaving the Normandy, but she'd needed the sleep. He smiled in spite of everything when his Lieutenant came closer.

"How's the migraine?" he asked.

"Better. Are you all right, Commander? Jane told me about the lock-down. I’m sure there’s a way to appeal. We’re under Alliance authority, after all, not the Council."

John shook his head.

"I tried. No luck: official channels are closed. They were quite clear about that."

"Closed. And we’re supposed to accept that? So, where do you think the best view will be when the Reapers roll through? If we have to sit it out, may as well get a good seat."

John didn't like the path this conversation was taking.

"I need you to stay strong," he said. "We’re out of the game for now. I need you to be there while we figure things out."

"You know you can count on me, or any of the crew, Commander."

John considered his next words carefully.

"Come on, Kaidan. I can get a salute from anyone on this ship. Well, maybe not her. But sometimes what I need is a shoulder."

"Yeah. I always leave a way out, but you know I’m here for you. But we’re in a rough spot, and I don't want to do muddy things. Like it’s all that clear to begin with. Are we the pride of the fleet or not? Are we valued agents or just... peons?"

"Can’t just pull out a good old-fashioned it’ll be all right, can you?"

"It’s that easy, huh? Okay then. Everything will be fine, Shepard. You’ll figure it out."

"That wasn’t so hard, was it?"

"I could get used to it. I guess we have some downtime to figure out what we are, huh?" Kaidan smiled and offered him a hand. John's heart beat a little faster when he accepted it.

* * *

Joker jumped in his seat when Jane appeared next to him.

"Wow. Hi there, miss... er... Shepard."

"Hi Joker, nice to see you again, but we'll have to catch up another time. I need you to do something for me. Or rather, for Shepard."

He squinted at her.

"I don't like the sound of it. How about I just message the Commander—"

She lifted a hand. "Please, he needs a break. He's having a tough time right now."

"Aren't we all?"

"You're going to receive a message from Admiral Anderson in a few seconds. All I ask you to do is wait a minute before sending it to Shepard."

The squint intensified.

"Just a minute."

"How do I know this minute isn't going to make the difference between life and death?"

Jane threw her hands up. "For fuck's sake, Joker! I've been through what he's going through right now, okay, and when you radioed me about Anderson? I could really have done with one more minute. Sixty seconds."

Joker's screen lit up with a message notification. His hand hovered over the screen.

"Sixty seconds, you say?"

"Please."

His fingers played over his armrest. "Okay. But I swear, if something goes wrong..."

"Yeah, yeah, you can have my ass. Whatever."

They both stared at the time display in the corner of the screen.

* * *

John lost his balance when Kaidan pulled him up and he caught himself with a hand on the other man's shoulder. The touch sent a wave of longing through him. Heat spread across his face, and hoped he wasn't blushing. He didn't want to remove his hand. But what if he'd misread Kaidan's intentions? Shit, he was way too close to Kaidan's face.

Kaidan's hand came to rest on his waist. Okay, he was either going to push him away or pull him closer. He gathered his courage and looked at Kaidan's face: his eyes were hooded, his pupils dilated. He didn't know which leaned closer – they probably did it both, and suddenly they were kissing. Adrenalin surged through him.

For a few seconds, all other thoughts, all concerns, melted away. No more Reapers, or Council. He felt warm all over. Just him and the man he wanted.

They separated a moment.

"Wow," Kaidan whispered.

"Yeah," he said, pulling him closer. It felt good to have another body so close – physical affection was in short supply in their line of work, even more so in his position. Kaidan gently pushed him against the wall, and brushed his lips against John's—

"Sorry to interrupt, Commander, got a message from Captain Anderson," Joker said on the PA system.

Kaidan pulled away as if they'd been caught red handed, and John cleared his throat in annoyance.

"Were you spying on us, Joker?"

"Us? What-- no, Commander. _What did you make me do?_ " they heard the pilot whisper.

" _Just tell him,_ " Jane's voice was faint.

"What did he want?" John asked.

"Only said to meet him at that club in the wards, Flux. Jane says he's going to break us out."

"Well, I guess you'd better go then," Kaidan said, with what John hoped was a hint of disappointment.

"Come with me? I know you wanted to see the Citadel earlier."

Kaidan smiled. "That would be nice. The Citadel is quite something."

When they reached the cockpit, they found a worried-looking Joker watching Jane, slouched in another seat, removing her IV and hanging the tube from the pole.

"Everything okay here?" John asked.

"She made me do it!" Joker said. "If anything goes wrong," he pointed at Jane with both hands, "it's on her."

John and Kaidan exchanged a look of incomprehension, and both chose not to explore the situation further. Jane offered a hand to John and he pulled her up.

"Let's find Anderson," she said.

They went to the decontamination airlock, but before they got in, John barred the way with his arm and gave Jane a serious look.

"You should know that the last time I mentioned you to Anderson, he wanted me to drop you at Arcturus for interrogation."

"Ah, of course." She scratched at the back of her neck. "I guess I'll have to be convincing. You trust me, right? If you back me, he should support you."

From where he was standing, Jane Shepard looked nothing like a threat. Almost a foot shorter than him, pale, bruised. But also physically strong, and, he knew, cybernetically enhanced. Admittedly, so far she hadn't done anything to deserve his distrust... except break all the known laws of physics to appear on his ship.

"This is taking far too long..." she said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry about that," he winced. He gave Kaidan a quick look, but the other man was expressionless. "I think I do."

"It will have to do," she said with a dejected look.

John quickly grabbed his leather jacket from where it hung in the cockpit. "You should put this on. Your bruises make you stand out."

She shrugged the jacket over Ashley's borrowed fatigues. "Thanks."

The went through the decontamination process.

" _The commanding officer is ashore. XO Pressly has the deck._ "

"It's been a while since I've heard that," Jane commented. "The new Normandy didn't have a VI."

On the dock, John and Kaidan let Jane look around. She then followed them to the elevator. The ride was as slow as ever. The news mentioned how ExoGeni was now returning a profit and seeing its stock rise sharply.

"I've never gone back to Feros," Jane said, playing with the jacket's zipper. "I wanted to. It kind of reminded me of Mindoir, except the whole "living in towers off the ground" thing. I wanted to see how they were doing."

"They seem to be doing good, if this is to be believed," Kaidan said.

"I ran into Shiala again, a couple years later. On Illium, of all places."

The elevator reached the C-Sec Academy. They were making their way through the crowd when a woman called out for John.

"Commander Shepard? Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News."

"Oh no," Jane mumbled.

"Would you answer a few questions for our viewers?"

John straightened, crossing his arms behind his back. "What do you want to know?"

Kaidan and Jane stepped away from the camera's field of view.

"Why did you react that way?" he asked Jane in a low voice, while Shepard answered the reporter.

"She's incredibly... provocative," she answered, crossing her arms and turning her back to the woman. "She appeals to the Terra Firma mob. I lost my cool more than once with her." She clenched and unclenched her fist at the memory. Kaidan put a hand on hers to stop her.

They turned back to watch how the interview was going.

"Don't worry, we'll find out. The eyes of Earth are on you, don't let us down. Thank you for your time, Commander Shepard." With a nod, the woman left, followed by her drone.

"Well, that went well," John said as he joined them.

"You didn't punch her?!" Jane said.

"You punched her?" he replied.

Jane opened and closed mouth, then shrugged. "She provoked me."

"C'mon, let's find Anderson," John said, leading the way to the Wards.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hugs & punches

Unfortunately, the journalist wasn't the only delay they ran into. Upon recognizing their Alliance uniforms, a blond man stopped them in one of the corridors.

"Soldier, I've got a major situation, and I need help from somebody with humanity's interest at heart."

"Oh no," Jane growled, "Oh no again." She brought a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes with a frown.

"My name is Elias Keeler. I'm an Alliance negotiator. We've got a big session coming up with the salarians. You wouldn't believe what's riding on this. I'm fighting for humanity on this one, just like you are!"

John put his hands up. "I understand, it's important. So what do you need?"

"In order to do my best for humanity, I need the best resources on the market. There’s a mental stimulant that increases alertness and cognitive function. It's legal, but restricted. I've purchased the monthly limit, and I need more from the med bay."

Jane inserted herself between John and the man and put her arm on his shoulders.

"Elias, listen to me. It's Elias, right?"

"I... er... yes?"

"Elias, you're an addict."

"I, no... why would you say that?"

"Elias, listen to me." She shook the man by the shoulders. "You've got a problem. You need to get treatment."

He shrugged out of her hold.

"It might look that way from the outside, but this is just a one-time slip-up. All the top negotiations are on stimulants close to the legal limit. It's the way the game is played."

"Look at me," Jane said, unzipping the jacket, showing off her bruises, her scabs, the dressings on her arms. "You think stims are harmless. I did too. I thought I was stronger than them. I was wrong. Stims are a getaway drugs. Today it's stims, next month you'll be hooked up on hard drugs. A year from now you'll be selling your body for drug money, if you haven't died from an overdose."

She zipped up the jacket.

"I—" he tried to say, but she put a hand up to shut him up.

"You won't be doing humanity any favors if you overdose during negotiations. Get help now. There's no shame in having a problem, but you have to get treatment," she said with an overly concerned tone.

The man seemed to lose all his bravado. "You're right," he said, staring at the floor. "I... I'll go tell my assistant. I shouldn't be working like this. I'll get help. I'm just sorry it came to this."

They watched him walk away, his head hanging in shame.

"I can't believe he fell for this," John said. "But I assume you had your reasons for that little show."

"Yeah, my reasons are we're in a hurry."

The music from Flux was almost too loud for conversation. Once inside, John looked around for Anderson, and spotted him sitting near the windows. He navigated through the crowd to join him, but Jane didn't move immediately, and Kaidan stayed by her side.

"Everything okay?" he said in her ear.

"He look so much younger..." she said, almost too low for him to hear. Kaidan felt her grasp his hand, then she let go with a look of surprise. "Sorry. I don't know why I did that."

"It's okay." He put a hand on her back and guided her to John and Anderson.

* * *

"I'm glad you came, Shepard. I heard what happened," Anderson said in the way of greeting.

"They pulled me out of the mission. Now I know how you felt when they forced you to give up the Normandy," John said without hiding his frustration.

Jane sat down to his right and Kaidan brought a chair to sit to his left. Anderson raised a brow in surprise.

"Admiral," Jane greeted him.

"... It's Captain Anderson," he said after a few seconds of awkward silence. "You must be..."

"Jane Shepard. Commander Jane Shepard. I believe John told you about me."

"Hm, yes. We had a short conversation about you. Speaking of which, Commander," he said, looking pointedly at John, "Are you sure it is safe to let this woman roam freely?"

John took a deep breath. "I know it is hard to believe, Captain, but after investigating the case... my crew and I have come to the conclusion that Jane Shepard is to be trusted."

"Who is she, to start with?" Anderson asked.

John and Jane exchanged a look.

"We think that Jane comes from an alternate universe of sorts. Where everything was identical, except that I was... well, her."

"My universe was also a few years forwards of yours," Jane added. "Which is to say that I've already gone through these events. I've already fought – and beaten – Saren, and most importantly, the Reapers."

Anderson steepled his fingers together. "You know I could have you committed for this, Shepard?"

"Yes, and I know you won't, because you're aware of how desperate the situation is. Jane has helped us against Saren on Virmire. She gave us intelligence that saved the lives of two of my crew, as well as several members of the Salarian Task Group. She's going to help us again this time."

"How do you know she didn't have this information because she's working for Saren?" Anderson let out.

"That's ridiculous!" Jane countered. "You of all people should know what Saren thinks of humans! He almost killed you and Kahlee Sanders!"

"...that's classified information," Anderson said after a beat.

"Which you entrusted me with, back in my timeline."

For a moment, no one said anything.

"C-Sec or Udina," Jane said. John and Kaidan looked at her in confusion. "That's what Admi— Captain Anderson is going to suggest to get us out of the lock-down. Right?"

Anderson nodded.

"No one else knew about your plans right?" she added with a hopeful look.

"That's right."

"The only way I could know of them is because we've already had this conversation."

"That's right!" Anderson repeated, putting his hands up in the air in concession. "You don't need to—" He shook his head. "The truth is, I already believe you. I mean, either you're saying the truth or this is the result of a 14-years long con orchestrated by Shepard. John Shepard."

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"The DNA profile your medic sent? I had it compared to the Alliance database. It came up negative, so on a hunch, I had it compared to your genetic profile. The results indicate that you and... Jane Shepard... have the same parents. Census records also show that you are the only surviving member of your family following the batarian raid on Mindoir. So either you decided, at 16, for obscure reasons, to hide the survival of one of your sisters... Or she's saying the truth. Might as well believe her story," he concluded with a dejected gesture.

"So... C-Sec or Udina? What's the plan?" Kaidan asked.

Anderson outlined the two possibilities.

"I don't know, both sound incredibly dangerous," John said. "Which did you pick, Jane?"

"Anderson went for Udina. Punched him right in the face. Ended up in military prison – thankfully he got away with it when it turned out that we'd been right about Saren attacking the Citadel, but... relations with Udina were always strained after that."

"No shit," Kaidan whispered. "Er, sorry about that."

"So you think we should go for C-Sec?" Anderson asked.

"No way!" John said. "You'll be gunned down."

"I have a better idea," Jane said, leaning forward. "I slip into Udina's office. I take him out, hack into his computer – I mean, we're infiltrators, I should be even faster than you, no offense sir. If I get arrested, too bad – but I'm nobody. I'm not in any records. That way Captain Anderson will be free and able to... get ready to welcome Saren from inside the Citadel.

"Yes, I haven't had time to tell you about this, Captain, but Saren is not going to attack from space, like the Council believes. According to Jane's report, the Conduit is a mini Mass Relay linked to the Relay Monument in the Presidium. Saren and his geth are going to appear right into the heart of the Citadel."

Anderson leaned back in his chair. "It's going to be a slaughter."

"Wait a minute," Kaidan said. "If... if Saren's coming here, why are we going to Ilos at all? Couldn't we just set up a trap for him here?"

"I've thought about it," John answered.

Jane stood up. "I'll get us drinks."

"The thing is," John continued, "If I was 100% sure that we could stop Saren before he reaches his target, then yes, we would wait for him here. But Saren's plan is to activate a Master Computer of sorts, hidden somewhere in the Council tower. You see, the Citadel is a disguised Mass Relay conceived to allow the Reapers into our galaxy. It was created by the same people who created the Reapers."

John had pulled out Jane's papers, but hardly needed to look at them to relay what he'd learned. The two other men were listening intently, leaning forward.

"If Saren manages to activate that terminal, our only hope is a program created by the Protheans – but this program is hidden in the archives on Ilos. Its creators were too late to stop their own cycle of culling. So, yes, going to Ilos could be a waste of time, but by waiting for him here, we take the risk of not having that backup plan."

"If we could convince the Council that the Mass Relay statue is a threat and must be guarded..." Anderson thought out loud. "But it's useless. They're already half convinced that Shepard is insane and his visions baseless. If we tell them about our intel from Shepard's double from a parallel universe... they would definitely have us committed."

Jane put down a tray carrying glasses – beer for Kaidan, whiskey for Anderson and soft drinks for John and her.

"We lost over 500 people in the Presidium during the battle of the Citadel," Jane said as if she'd followed the conversation. "Not counting those who died in the space battle and the victims of collateral damage in the wards. More importantly, the asari dreadnought evacuating the Council was destroyed. Sovereign managed to get inside the Citadel before the wards closed. Even without the cooperation of the Council, there's got to be something we can do to reduce those numbers."

"There are always a number of soldiers on shore leave on the Citadel. I could try to round them up and get them ready in the presidium for Saren's arrival," Anderson mused.

"I was wondering if Garrus still had contacts in C-Sec?" Jane said. "If he could raise a few people to add to Anderson's men..."

"I'll leave Garrus with you," John decided. "And Ashley. She wanted to make use of her rifle, she'll get to. From your report there won't be need for much manpower on Ilos."

"Could you leave Tali here? We could need her technological skills."

"I was thinking of taking Alenko and Wrex, so I don't see why not. Liara wouldn't want to miss the Prothean archives either. And since we have a way back to the Citadel, I'll ask Joker to fly back through the Mu relay as soon as he's dropped the Mako. I'll tell Joker to send for help immediately."

John typed a message on his omnitool.

"Tell Ash to bring her former armor," Jane said. John gave her a look. "I don't know if I'm up to fighting, but perhaps I can link it to my omnitool and get the tactical cloak to work on it. It's a camouflage thing, I'll teach you later. If I could avoid going to jail because of Udina, it'd be nice."

John nodded his understanding. "Udina will never see you coming."

"Hopefully."

* * *

They met Garrus, Ashley and Tali a quarter of an hour later and informed them rapidly of the plan. Then it was time to part. While most shook hands, Jane and John exchanged an awkward look.

"So..." John said.

"We're kind of siblings. Sort of. According to Anderson," Jane said.

John opened his arms. "Come here."

They hugged. It didn't feel as weird as they'd thought – it felt like having family, again, for the first time in forever.

"I kind of feel bad letting you go there alone," she said against his shoulder.

"I'm not alone."

"You know what I mean," she said, breaking the embrace. "Technically, you're my little brother."

He squinted. "We have the same birthday, technically, we're twins."

"I've got two years on you."

They heard Kaidan chuckle next to them. Jane looked at him with fondness.

"You look after him, alright?"

"Yes Ma'am!" he said with a mock salute that was way too familiar to Jane. He must have seen something because he brought a hand to her arm. "Hey, we're going to be good. We'll kick Saren's bony ass."

She gave him a half smile and opened her arms to him. He hesitated for less than a second before accepting the woman's embrace. Their hug was shorter. When they pulled apart, she kept her hands on his arms and said with a serious tone: "You look after yourself, too."

"I will," he said with a grave nod.

"Jane, I'll bring everyone home." John said.

John and Kaidan took off for the Normandy, while the other five went to Dr Michel's clinic, where Garrus cajoled the woman into lending them an empty room "for old times' sake". Tali and Jane set to link her omnitool to the armor Ashley had brought. It was a Phoenix model she wasn't familiar with and that was a bit outdated – really, the default model that was distributed to marines of Ashley's rank, but thankfully she was able to get the cloaking effect to work.

Ashley helped Jane slip into the armor – being light armor, it was mostly flexible and conformed to her frame, despite the slight differences in stature with Ashley.

Ashley, Tali and Garrus went to resupply while Anderson and Jane took an elevator to the Presidium. Jane kept rolling her shoulders into the armor and fidgeting.

"Are you going to be okay, soldier?" the older man asked.

She nodded. "Yes Sir. A bit nervous, is all. It's not everyday you get to assault the ambassador for mankind."

"I can still do it, you know."

Jane turned to look at him. "I'm not sure if you're saying that to make me feel better or because you don't trust me yet. But I feel better knowing you'll be there to help John when Saren shows up."

"John. You seem awfully familiar already, the two of you. Hard to believe you've known each other for less than three days."

"It feels like I've known him my whole life, strangely. Sometimes I know what he's going to say before he says it."

The elevator reached the Presidium and they made their way to the Embassy in silence. The corridors were milling with people – asari, turians, salarians and humans mixing almost naturally with the occasional volus, krogan, elcor or hanar. Jane always had a hard time believing that when she was born, humans hadn't known any other intelligent, space-faring species. They'd gone so far in thirty years. No wonder the other species thought they went too fast, at times.

They stopped by a leafy garden spot without too many passers-by, and Jane manipulated her omnitool.

"Ready?" Anderson asked.

"Ready." She went transparent. Not invisible, but shimmering, letting the light through in a manner that let her go unseen unless you were to look directly at her position. She stuck close to Anderson as he activated the door to Udina's office and walked in.

The ambassador looked up from his screen. "Anderson, what are you doing here?"

Anderson stepped close to his desk while Jane walked along the walls as silently as she could.

"Ambassador," Anderson said, standing at attention, "I have come to ask you to reconsider the lock-down of the Normandy."

Donnel Udina brought a hand up to his forehead as if the other man was giving him a headache. "We've had this conversation already, Captain. Unless you are bringing new arguments I kindly ask you to leave my office."

Anderson clenched his jaw. He tried to locate Jane's transparent silhouette and noticed the air shimmering behind Udina's seat.

"Do I have to call security?"

"I'm sorry it had to come down to this. Have a good day, Udina," Anderson said, turning on his heels and leaving the room as abruptly as he'd come in. The ambassador shook his head in disbelief and went back to his work.

Something caught his attention in the corner of his field of vision, but when he turned there was nothing there. He put it down to working under pressure. Then he heard the air swish and a deafening thud and radiating pain as something collided with his head. Every one of his senses shut down.


	15. Chapter 15 - the night before Ilos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get all excited over the title. No smut because omfg why is writing smut so hard?

 

Joker was fidgeting in his seat. His commanding officer was looking over his right shoulder, Lieutenant Alenko over the left. The seal on the flight control screen remained red.

John leaned forwards to peer through the windows of the cockpit. Security on the dock seemed normal.

"What if—" Joker started, when the seal turned green with a beep. The docking clamps holding the Normandy in place lifted slowly.

"Let's go!" John ordered. "Get us out of here, Joker. Now!"

The Normandy pulled out of the dock. John half expected a bunch of C-Sec shuttles to appear out of nowhere, but everything seemed normal. The Council must have thought their lock-down was uncrackable. They flew past the asari dreadnought Destiny Ascension by just a few kilometers.

It wasn't until they went through the Widow Relay that John let go of the tight grip he'd had on his pilot's seat.

"I think we're good. Make for the Mu relay, Joker."

"Aye aye, Captain." Joker looked over his shoulder. "Feels weird to have let so many people behind. Didn't really feel like Garrus or Tali were part of the crew until they weren't here anymore."

"My, does Joker have a heart after all?" Kaidan said. "I'll be sure to let them know you missed them."

"Lieutenant, please! I have a reputation to uphold. If people think I'm nice, they'll start hanging around the cockpit, then they'll try to make conversation with me during maneuvers, touch the controls..."

"By the way, why were you arguing with Jane before?" John asked.

"Huh? Oh, she... er, she asked me to wait a minute before telling you about Captain Anderson's message. I was afraid it was part of some evil plan. I guess she's okay, since she lifted the lock-down."

"Why would she do that?" John mused out loud. He saw recognition dawn on Kaidan's face just as Joker continued:

"She said something about being in your shoes once and needing some time."

Kaidan walked towards the Galaxy Map and John followed him.

"She set us up." Kaidan stopped, his hands on his hips. "She knew exactly what we were up too. Hell, she even told me to hang around, that you'd need me." He rubbed his stubbled jaw.

"I..." John was at a loss. "Guess I owe her thanks."

Kaidan chuckled. John gestured to the Galaxy Map. "I need to..."

"You go do your job, Captain!" Kaidan said with a smile and a salute. "I'll be in the living quarters if you need me."

* * *

Jane joined Anderson, who was waiting near an Avina terminal as planned.

"It's done," she said, leaning against the railing. "It wasn't nearly as fun as I pictured it."

"Great. Now we need to assess what to do next."

"Saren attacked at night. There's only 6 hours of nighttime in the Presidium, so we have at least until 17:00."

"So about ten hours. Just about enough time for the Normandy to reach Ilos, right?"

"It took a little longer than that, about 13 hours? But we left the Citadel about an hour earlier. Then we spent between half an hour and an hour on Ilos before going through the Conduit, which gives..."

"Twelve hours at least."

Anderson turned to look at the Relay Monument.

"I have an apartment in the Wards where we can regroup."

* * *

When he was done planning the itinerary, John went to find Liara. The archeologist was in the dining area, reading a datapad. Two ensigns were having lunch – a few more were in the sleeping pods. John had offered everyone on board the possibility to leave the Normandy before they took off. He'd been moved beyond words when no one had taken him up on his offer.

"Commander," the asari said when she saw him, standing up. "I'm afraid I haven't been able to find anything of interest about Ilos."

"It's alright, Liara. I guess we'll have plenty of time to learn more about it now that the relay has been located. I wanted to see if now was a good time to show me what Jane showed you before Virmire?"

"Of course. Should we do this in my quarters or..."

"Let's go to mine."

Liara tried to convey most of the images Jane had given her, but the vision was not as clear for John as it had been for Liara, since they were memories of memories. Liara was better able to impart what had struck her most when joining minds with Jane: communicating with Sovereign, a mission inside a dark vessel of some kind where too many people had died, the arrival of the Reapers over Vancouver, Tali dying, Kaidan dying, the attack on Thessia, the attack on London, Liara and some Alliance soldier dying, Anderson's last words.

John was shaken when she was done. In hindsight, he admired the restraint she had shown after melding with Jane. When he walked her to his door, they found Kaidan on the other side, about to ask to come in. Liara acknowledged him with a nod in passing. Kaidan looked surprised to see her come out of John's quarters.

"Am I... Is now a good time to talk?"

John only gestured with his head to come in before going back in. The door slid closed behind Kaidan. For a while John kept his back to him, rubbing his neck with both hands as if to work the stress out.

"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked.

"She was just... showing me what Jane showed her." He turned to face him. "My god, Kaidan, those things are... We're not going to win this through conventional warfare. This is on another scale entirely." He shook his head, discouraged. "I don't know what... We'll think about it when it comes to that. Let's focus on Saren now."

"We're as ready as we'll get, Commander. How about we don't think about Saren now?"

"You probably shouldn't call me that. I probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform," John said, picking at his shirt.

"Yeah, hell of a thing we did, breaking our oath to defend the Alliance, just so we can keep it. We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest, huh?" Kaidan said, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I keep reminding myself that we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet,” John confessed, looking to Kaidan for reassurance.

"Well, I do. If I didn't think you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here with you. Shepard, when we get to Ilos… If things don't go well, I want you to know – well, I've enjoyed serving under you."

John took the few steps that separated him from Kaidan.

"Still hesitating? After all we’ve been through together? Is it because of her?"

"No. I knew we'd be good even before hearing it from her. Hell, if anything, we seem to have her blessing."

"I should tell you... well, I should probably tell her... I went through some of the mails that Tali extracted from her omnitool. A letter her Kaidan, wrote to her, after something happened on Horizon. And the letter she wrote back, before going on what she thought was a suicide mission. It made me realize... how much I'd hate to be separated from you," John explained, his voice catching in his throat. He lifted a hand to Kaidan's cheek. “I saw you die in her memories...”

Kaidan lifter a finger to his mouth to stop him. "You know what, you're right, about everything," Kaidan replied, leaning into John’s hand. "I think about losing you and I can't stand it. The galaxy will just keep going. Everything will come around again. But you and I, we are important right now. This is what will never happen again. Us. Shepard..."

"If I have a say, this is definitely going to happen again."

That got a laugh out of Kaidan.

"Stay here for the night, Kaidan."

"Is that an order, Commander?"

John closed the distance and brought his lips to Kaidan’s. He was left speechless when they broke away and lifted a hand to cradle John’s head. They smiled against each other’s mouth.

"Aye, aye, sir."

"No ranks in this room," John chided him gently.

"I can deal with that."

They kissed again, but this time they didn't break the kiss until they reached the bed.


	16. Chapter 16

Jane had fallen asleep again – and not on purpose. She woke up with a jolt, with the sense of urgency that comes with knowing that you fell asleep while waiting for something important to happen. When she heard people talk and move in an unhurried manner, her heart beat slowed down a little – Saren hadn't arrived yet.

She'd have to address the sleeping issue at some point; she was turning into either a toddler or an old lady. She reminisced about the night Specialist Traynor had told her to go get some rest. She'd replied "I'll sleep when this war is over," but the words on her tongue had been "I'll sleep when I'm dead". She'd changed the wording halfway through not to discourage the young woman.

Maybe that was the reason why she slept so much. She might be dead, at least in her own universe.

But the war wasn't over.

Tali's enthusiastic voice pulled her out of her reverie entirely.

"I'm in!" the young Quarian exclaimed. Jane struggled out of a blanket someone had wrapped her in – she was lying on one of the couches in Anderson's living room. Tali saw her sit up and gestured to the screen she'd been working on with her omnitool.

Jane stood up and joined her.

"I've found a way to trigger the alarm system in the Presidium. There are several pre-recorded messages than can be broadcast through a public address system and through the Avina terminals. I'm thinking the best one is the depressurization alert. It encourages people to evacuate the Presidium into the Wards or into shelters. That should get most people out of Saren's way."

"That's great, Tali. It's too bad we don't know exactly when Saren's gonna come through, though. I'm afraid that if we trigger the alert too early, civilians will come back after an hour or two once they realize it's a fake."

"We could trigger several alerts in a row. That would keep C-Sec on their toes, and they probably wouldn't want to have civilians in the way while they figure out what to do."

"Good idea. Have you found a way to close the Wards?"

Tali shook her head. "No, sorry Jane. I don't think it's possible from a normal terminal like this – this is probably only accessible through the master console in the Tower."

Jane put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about that. You did a great job already. Few people could hack their way into the Presidium's security system."

She turned around and stood still when she noticed a bunch of Turians, two salarians and a woman, all wearing armors and weapons, gathered on the mezzanine.

"They're all acquaintances of Garrus that he managed to rouse up and convince that Saren is a real threat," Tali explained. "Many are C-Sec on their day off, and a few private security workers."

They climbed the stairs to join them. They were all quietly listening to Ashley, who was pointing at a map of the Presidium projected on the wall. Garrus and the others would occasionally make suggestions. Jane realised they were planning the defense of the Presidium, outlining the best places to seek cover, the best views on the Relay Monument.

She counted the people on the mezzanine: ten, plus Ash and Garrus.

She wondered how Garrus could be so convincing when John and she failed miserably. And then it dawned on her: they hadn't failed. They had Garrus and Tali, Ashley and Anderson, Kaidan, Wrex, Liara. Joker and Doctor Chakwas. The whole crew of the Normandy. They believed them even when all they had to go on were their visions.

Thanks, charisma.

Garrus saw her and beckoned to her to come see their plan. Ash made a comment about Sleeping Beauty that only the other human got. The tactician in her analyzed the map and their symbols and she could only congratulate them on their good work. She thought she saw pride in Ashley's half contained smile.

"Where's Anderson?"

"He's trying to mount a small army," Ashley says, "He's also gone to Alliance HQ to warn Arcturus about the incoming geth ships, trying to get a fleet ready to protect the Citadel."

Jane looked at the time, and realised they still had a few hours. And they were as ready as they could be. Hell, she almost felt useless. Her gurgling stomach gave her an idea.

"I'll order some pizza, I guess. Or... Garrus, what's levo pizza called already?"

He made that face with his brow plates that expressed incomprehension.

"That's a conversation we've had in... another... never mind."

"That would be tabunetta," a better informed turian told her, a female, Jane deduced from her lack of fringe.

"Do you know a restaurant that delivers?"

The woman followed her downstairs, and the group soon made themselves comfortable in the living area.

"Have you got credits? Do you even have an account in this world?" Ashley asked in a low voice.

"Yeah, I've had a good share of my money in chits, ever since I came back from the dead, and the Alliance had suspended my account. They reopened it, but I was always careful to keep some chits," she explained, caring little about the turian's reaction to her backstory. "I managed to pay for drinks earlier."

Twenty minutes later – or twenty four galaxy-standard minutes later, since they were now on the Citadel, a salarian delivered two hotboxes, with the standard levo and dextro labeling. The mood was relaxed, almost more so than the last time she had a party in this very apartment, and that was despite Jane's ban on alcoholic drinks.

Garrus' troops introduced themselves, but Jane was only able to remember three names – Yin, the human, Voluna, the friendly turian, and Gakum, one of the salarians. Anderson arrived while they were still eating and was more than willing to join them, piling three slices of pizza on a paper plate before seating down and putting his feet up on a coffee table.

"Hackett is moving as many ships as he can in the Widow system without raising alarm amongst the Citadel fleet," he explained. "I've manage to raise thirty soldiers on shore leave, but I've only kept twelve in the end. The others were privates or servicemen, and I'm not taking inexperienced fighters on this mission, all the more so since everything has to stay under the radar. We'll be regrouping in the Presidium at 17:00, or as soon as Joker confirms that he's dropped the Commander on Ilos."

Jane bit at her nails. She always kept them very short to avoid that habit in particular, but the anxiety was getting too much and she had to fidget to get it out. Her burns were healing well but itching like crazy. She realized she hadn't been taking her meds since she'd arrived on the Normandy. She suspected doctor Chakwas had given her benzos at first to deal with her agitation and the pain, but she was feeling the withdrawal now. Well, she'd have to deal with it on her own.

* * *

John had fallen asleep – true to the cliché. He woke up surrounded with the warmth and smell of another male body. Kaidan was sleeping too, on his back. John stayed still for a while, savoring the moment. It was too rare.

He sat up slowly and silently. Kaidan seemed to have a small smile in his sleep. He didn't look younger, exactly, but more carefree. His beard drew a dark shadow on his jaw. John had a hard time believing his luck. He'd had a few handsome lovers, and a few good friends. He'd never had both at once. Oh, Kaidan Alenko was sure to have a few flaws, but John was in that phase where everything about his lover seemed perfect.

"Good lord, I have the biggest crush," he realized. He got up and got dressed, brushed his teeth and washed his face. He rubbed his cheeks, and decided it didn't require a shave yet.

Despite his attempts at silence, he must have made some noise, because Kaidan sat up straight in bed. John was glad to see he was one of those people who could wake up and be alert in a few seconds. He leaned back against his desk and admired the view.

Kaidan gave him a sleepy smile

"It's been a long time since I've met a guy who-"

"Bridge to Commander Shepard," Joker's voice came up on the PA system. "We're five minutes out from the Mu Relay."

"I swear he's doing it on purpose," John said.

"Where's Jane when we need her, eh?"

John came closer and kissed Kaidan, who pushed him back after a few seconds.

"Joker's waiting for you on the bridge. I'll get dressed and join you in a minute."

* * *

Anderson and Jane were sitting on a bench in the presidium, with a view on the Relay Monument. From where their position, they could see five of the groups of soldiers and security workers they had recruited. A dozen soldiers in armor were waiting close by. Jane herself was in Ashley's old armor, although she'd put on loose pants and John's jacket over it. Tali was out of sight, close to a terminal from which she could trigger the alarm on Jane's signal.

"You've got to be kidding me," Anderson growled. Jane turned towards him. Ambassador Udina was storming towards them. He had a dark bruise, but little swelling.

"Anderson!"

"My goodness, ambassador, what happened to your face?" Jane asked in her most convincing concerned tone, standing up.

"Have we met?" he asked with suspicion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't had the honor. I'm Commander Jane Shepard, Systems Alliance. My brother speaks highly of you," she declared, brandishing her hand.

He shook it, more out of habit than anything else, then glared at Anderson, who had remained seated.

"You..." he pointed at him.

"Yes, Ambassador?"

Udina gritted his teeth. "Why are there so many Alliance soldiers on the grounds of the Presidium, anyway? What are you plotting?"

"We're organizing a half marathon," Jane answered. Udina squinted at her in turn. "To raise funds for the refugees from Eden Prime? Haven't you seen the ads? We're waiting until night time to start, so as to not disturbs the people working in the Presidium. You're welcome to stay and watch, if you please."

Udina breathed in and out slowly through his nose.

"Thanks but no, thanks. I have more important business to attend to." He turned on his heels and disappeared through the crowd. Jane sat back with a sigh.

"You've missed your calling as an actress, Shepard," Anderson said. "It's weird to call you Shepard."

"You've never called me anything else. You know, I really wanted to be an actress, as a kid. I thought the only way to have adventures, like in the vids, was to be in the vids."

"Good thing you distracted him, because he didn't remember that, according to the file I gave him, Shepard is an orphan without any living relatives."

“And he didn't ask why you'd need an assault rifle for a sporting event.”

As time passed, the crowd thickened with workers leaving their day job and shoppers going on last minute errands. The simulated sky on the inside of the ring transited slowly to a dark starry sky. The Presidium became calmer, but not quite empty, for it never was. The presence of the Alliance soldiers was more conspicuous now, although they never got more than curious glances from the passers-by. At 70 minutes past 17, Anderson lifted a hand to his headset.

"Roger that," he replied to the radio operator. "The Normandy just flew back through the Mu Relay. Shepard and his team are on the field."

"Tali, do you copy?" Jane asked. "Time to sound the alarm."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like writing battle scenes, can you tell ?

John's legs shook when he jumped out of the mako. This had been the wildest ride he'd been in so far.

"He did it. He fucking did it."

"I suppose Joker's ego does reflect his skills," Liara commented. "This place is magnificent," she said as she admired the ruins. Wrex and Kaidan followed.

"So, how do we get that door open?" the krogan asked, caring little for the architectural beauty of the place.

"There's a console somewhere across this plaza that can get it open," John said, "but it looks like the mako's too big to get there. We'll have to do this on foot and--"

A mechanical chirping was heard.

"--and the place is crawling with geth."

"The usual warm up, then," Wrex said.

They headed over the bridge and fought some geth troopers, then entered the plaza. There were enough rocks, columns and vegetation to seek cover regularly. Liara and Kaidan made good use of their biotics while Wrex and John provided firepower.

Remembering Jane's report, he ignored the winding ramp that descended to a lower level to their right, and focused on crossing the plaza. Saren must have left dozens of geth down there, and they also encountered a few armatures – fortunately, they'd learn that those only activated when you stepped within a certain radius of them.

They ran under a curved overhang and reached a courtyard of sorts. In between fighting geth, John had the time to think that the place, indeed, was magnificent, despite its state of disrepair. Strange statues seemed to guard the courtyard at regular intervals, shaped like humanoids with tentacles on their face, seated in deep stone chairs. Some large flowers grew into the cracks of the edifices, built in a marble-like material. His musings were cut short by the arrival of a geth destroyer. Kaidan and Liara lifted it and with the help of a few sticky grenades, John and Wrex destroyed it.

They had to stay in cover a lot to dispatch more troopers and hoppers. The courtyard returned to silence at last. When they were certain the way was clear, they ran to the elevator Jane had told them about, that led to the security station.

"The room down there is full of sleeping geth," John warned his crew. "Wrex, grenades. Kaidan and I will hack them. I take right. Liara, lift whichever is still standing afterwards." His teammates acknowledged the orders, and they made short work of clearing the place. They took a short break to apply medigel as needed, then headed up the ramp at the back of the room.

There they found the security console, through which John managed to unlock the archive doors. A severely distorted hologram sprung up. The visuals were damaged beyond recognition, but John could make out some words: " _unable to-- ...invading fleets--_ "

"Interesting, sounds like a recording of a warning the Protheans received before the Reapers arrived."

"Wait, you understood that?" Kaidan asked.

"You didn't? The message is all broken up, but I recognized some of the words."

"The cypher must have given you the ability to understand the Prothean language," the asari mused. "How I envy you!"

" _...not safe-- ...seek refuge --side the archives,_ " the hologram continued. " _Reapers-- the Citadel-- overwhelmed-- --hope-- ...all is lost._ "

"Why are we wasting our time here?" the krogan asked. "Let's get Saren!"

John shook his head. "It's too degraded to help. We should go."

" _Cannot be stopped..._ " the hologram continued in the background as they left the room and towards the exit. They took another elevator that brought them near the mako. They got on as the doors opened. As he got in the driver's seat, John quickly informed his teammates about the Prothean VI they would find that would give them the file needed to stop Saren's plans.

* **

"Attention, attention. A depressurization incident has been reported. The security of the Presidium has been compromised. Please evacuate the Presidium by proceeding to the closest Ward or by seeking shelter in one of the pressurized emergency shelters. You may use the elevators safely. Please remain calm." Avina's voice repeated for the hundredth time.

Here and there a few civilians could be seen running for shelter, but most of the people left in the Presidium were C-Sec workers trying to understand what the hell was happening.

Ashley's troops were in place, in groups of two and three. Anderson's men were patrolling the bridges close to the Relay Monument, directing stray passers-by towards the nearest shelters. The lighting of the Presidium had been dimmed and big green and orange arrows indicated the direction of the Wards and the emergency shelters.

"Attention, attention. A depressurization incident has been reported..."

Jane was walking in circles, her right hand on Ashley's borrowed handgun.

"Maybe Shepard managed to stop Saren before he got to the Conduit," Anderson said near her.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Oh, I hate waiting!" she exclaimed, slamming her free hand against the wall.

"Shepard!" Tali said, her eyes fixed on a terminal. "The Destiny Ascension has docked! They must know that something is happening."

Jane turned to Anderson, who had his hand cupped over his ear, listening to his radio. He looked up after a moment. "The captain of the SSV Warsaw confirmed the sighting of geth ships making their way to the Widow System. It's happening."

"They docked to let the Councilors and other key personnel on board," Jane realised. "Which means the Council tower is empty right now, or is about to be. If we can get there before Saren, perhaps we can close the Wards before Sovereign can get inside!"

"Can you do it?" Anderson asked.

"I really don't know. I'm not even sure how to get to the master console. Maybe with Tali's help I could--"

"Do it. We'll try to hold up Saren and his geth."

Jane gave the Monument a last look, before acknowledging Anderson's orders. "Aye, aye, Sir," she said with a salute. "Be safe. Tali?"

The two women went to the council tower's elevator.

* **

"My name is Vigil", the hologram said. "You are safe here, for the moment, but that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe."

"Tell us something we don't know," Wrex said.

* **

"Were these elevators built by elcors?" Jane ranted, pacing around the cabin as it crawled up the tower.

"Patience, Shepard," Tali said as she checked her shotgun.

* **

"There's a data file in my console. Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel's master control unit, upload it to the station."

"At last," John mumbles under his breath, navigating the terminal thanks to his new-found ability to read Prothean.

"With the knowledge that this facility discovered of the Citadel, they were able to create a way to possibly corrupt the station's security protocols. It will give you temporary control over the station."

"Saren's got enough of a head start," John said, now ignoring the hologram. "I got the file, c'mon!"

"Shepard are you sure?" Liara asked, obviously excited. "Who knows how much longer Vigil will be here? Even now the projection is weak. This might be our only chance to speak with it, our only link to the knowledge of the Protheans. It is the opportunity of a life time!"

"I'm sorry Liara, but you've seen what the Reapers are capable of. We can't waste any more time," he said, heading out. "I promise to bring you back to the archives once the battle of the Citadel is over."

Kaidan and Wrex were on Shepard's tail. Liara gave Vigil a last lingering glance, then followed them to the mako.

"The one you call Saren has not reached the Conduit, not yet, there is still hope if you hurry," Vigil said as if to reassure them.

* **

Jane and Tali advanced cautiously into the Council chambers. It was dark and empty, and reminded Jane of pictures of cathedrals. She thought about saying so, but then the quarian had probably never been in a cathedral. Come to think of it, neither had she.

"It feels like we shouldn't be here," Tali said.

"Legally speaking, I'm pretty certain we shouldn't be here," Jane replied.

They climbed the steps a little faster, but on their tiptoes, as if afraid to wake up something.

"Where is the console?" Tali asked.

Jane cleared her throat. "Well, that's the thing. I don't know. The first time, I just followed Saren. I think he was standing up there, near the petitioner's stage."

A few keepers were crawling around the chambers as if nothing unusual had happened. The only sounds were the women's footsteps and the gurgling of the fountains. They reached the stage. It looked as it did usually.

"It was here!" Jane said. "I think?" They looked around, but nothing stood out of the ordinary.

"Goddamnit!" Jane raged, clenching her fists. "This is a waste of time." She leaned against the railing of the petitioners' stage.

Tali seemed hesitant, then stepped by her side. "It's okay, Shepard. If you could do it the first time around, you'll succeed again."

"Many people died the first time around."

"You didn't have a small army to welcome Saren at the Monument. The Presidium's been evacuated. You did all you could."

Tali's hip bumped into Jane, making her smile.

"Wait... that's a human gesture! Where did you learn that?"

"I saw Chief Williams do it. I hope it wasn't inappropriate?"

Jane bumped her in return. "No. It's something friends do."


	18. Battle of the Citadel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleeeenty of dialogue straight from the game... but I promise, it's the last time for a while.

John didn't care what they were going to say about his driving skills — he wasn't holding back this time. The mako's tires screamed as he took turns at unreasonable speed, splashing water all over the corridors of the archives. Despite their harnesses, they were bumped around the vehicle, and he saw Liara reach for the ceiling when he ran over a geth.

"Are you trying to-- oof-- get us--"

"No, Liara. I'm just trying to get us to the Citadel."

"You missed a geth," Wrex commented.

The corridors – or were they tunnels at this point? – kept going down. They were bathed in strange, cold light from above. John couldn't tell if it was natural or artificial. In the gunnery seat, Kaidan tried to dispatch enemies before they got to them, but John's driving made any kind targeting difficult.

The incline became steeper, the walls disappeared and they arrived in a wider space.

"Holy shit," John whispered.

"By the Goddess!"

The blue glow that blinded them for a moment faded out to reveal a mini mass relay ahead of them. They'd known about it, but it was still fascinatingly impressive.

"Enemies ahead!" Kaidan yelled.

The mako windshield overlayed a dozen geth, primes, collossus and shock troopers in red.

"No time for this shit," he grumbled. "Hang on to your seats!" he warned as he slammed his foot on the accelerator. He thought he heard Liara pray. He felt Wrex's hand grip the side of his own seat. They hit a bump on the ramp and smashed into the conduit...

And for a few seconds they were floating in zero-G — no artificial gravity in the mako — and then gravity took hold of their vehicle again. John just had time to see a geth and recognize the floor of the Presidium before his head snapped back into his headrest and the windshield of the mako crashed into a wall.

* **

The quasi silence of the Council chambers was broken by the booming sound of a shotgun, followed by the cry of a keeper. Tali spun around, and Jane caught her wrist.

"Must be Saren," she whispered.

The quarian lifted her shotgun, but Jane put her hand on it, shaking her head.

"We can't take him on our own. Follow me, we'll wait for the cavalry." Tali nodded her assent, and let Jane pull her into a darkened side corridor.

The rogue Spectre appeared at the top of the stairs after a moment, striding purposefully towards the petitioner's stage, which extended in front of him. A holographic screen sprung up and the turian started to fiddle with it.

"How'd he do that?" Jane whispered, peering from the shadows.

* **

A moment later, Kaidan's voice pulled him out of his confusion.

"Everyone okay down there? Liara? Commander?"

"I'm okay," he answered. The mako was lying on its side. To his right, Liara seemed unharmed, although visibly shaken. John turned around. "Wrex?"

"Hah! It'll take more than your terrible driving to kill a krogan, Shepard." He heard Wrex snap his harness open, fall to the floor, and then slide the mako's door open. John let the asari leave the vehicle first, then followed her out. They were welcomed by a woman wearing alliance armor.

"Are you alright? Man, that was some crash. Thanks, by the way: those geth had us pinned down."

Two more soldiers, and Captain Anderson, ran to greet them.

"Captain!" John said. "It's good to see you."

"You too. These were the last two geth in the Presidium."

John and his team took stock of the situation. Several small fires had started around the area, but they didn't seem to be spreading. The geth had erected a dozen dragon's teeth, as they'd nicknamed the spikes that turned people into husks. Fortunately, they were all devoid of victims. John spotted Ashley and Garrus jogging down a flight of stairs to join them, followed by a dozen turians and salarians.

"I take it Saren's arrived already?" John asked. "We didn't see him."

Anderson nodded. "Yes. Unfortunately, his geth kept us busy and we couldn't stop him from going to the tower. On the other hand, thanks to your warning, we were able to evacuate the presidium. I don't think there'll be any civilian victims."

"There are at least three," a turian with an assault rifle countered. "Two geth cornered an elcor and two volus in the financial district. We were too late to stop them."

"I'm sorry," John answered.

"Where are Jane and Tali?" Kaidan asked. John hadn't noticed their absence until then.

"They went to the council tower before Saren's arrival," Anderson explained. "They were hoping to close the wards before Sovereign could get inside."

"Wait, they're alone with him now? Team Normandy, follow me," John said, heading towards the elevator. Anderson made to go with them, but John added, "You're not wearing your armor, Captain, you can't come with us. If things go like they did with Jane, we're going to walk on the outside of the tower."

"Understood. My men and I'll try to find another way to the top."

He watched Shepard, Alenko and Williams, Garrus, Wrex and Liara get into the elevator, then turned to one of the C-Sec officers Garrus had recruited.

"You! Is there a staircase to the top of the tower?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but the utility shafts have been fitted with ladders. It's going to take forever to reach the top though."

"Show us the way."

As he followed the turian through corridors and sliding doors, Anderson's radio, tuned to the Citadel fleet's channel, came to life.

"The Citadel's closing. They're sealing the station!" a turian officer said. "Don't let the enemy ships inside the arms!"

"It's time they woke up!" Anderson grumbled as he grabbed of a ladder ring and started the long climb to the top of the Council tower.

Unbeknownst to them, Sovereign and the geth vessels were approaching the Citadel, while its defense fleet, mostly composed of turian ships, was getting in position. Sovereign cared little for the obstacles in its path, crushing into the frigates mercilessly. It entered the Citadel just as the wards were closing, trapping it inside. Only then did it slow, aiming for the top of the tower, opening its claw-like appendages. Viewed from the wards, it landed almost delicately on the tower, wrapping its claws around it.

Inside the Council chambers though, everything shook when the reaper docked, throwing both women to the ground. They picked themselves up and Jane noticed – small consolation – that the turian had lost his balance too. He caught himself up and started typing on the console again.

* **

The elevator transporting John and his crew stopped abruptly when Saren cut the power. It had been expected though – his entire team was ready, helmets on, and after a cursory glance, John blew the exterior window of the elevator.

The view on the wards was gorgeous. Life seemed to continue in the metropolis surrounding them, and the illuminated avenues and files of cars drew patterns like so many red and yellow arteries against a darker background. The switch to zero-g was dizzying, but as soon as their magboots clamped to the surface of the building, John looked around to try and get his bearings. Locating their destination wasn't that hard: the immense silhouette of Sovereign blocked part of their horizon.

For a while they managed to advance as rapidly as the lack of gravity allowed them, until a panel opened to reveal a squad of geth: they had not all been in the Presidium after all. But with the help of his team, John was able to dispatch them quite easily, all the more so since biotics were even more devastating in zero-g, and Liara, Wrex and Kaidan put that fact to good use.

They followed a trench of sorts in the side of the building that sometimes turned into a proper tunnel, connecting with various utility shafts.

"The krogan are mine!" Wrex yelled once, attracting John's attention to the presence of krogan warriors among Saren's troops. How many had the turian managed to create before they destroyed his facility? How many had been bred, and how many were mercenaries?

The absence of gravity was an advantage, in that every enemy blown off their feet floated away aimlessly. But the same laws applied to John's team.

"Stay within arm's length of each other's," he ordered them, "I can't have you lose your footing like them!"

As he watched a geth carried away by inertia, John noticed flaming debris passing by, and realised for the first time the damage Sovereign had caused on its way to the tower.

"Negative contact, Shepard," Liara announced after their cleared their field of view. They were walking next to huge defense turrets mounted on the surface of the tower. Saren must have deactivated them too, for they were inactive. He wished Tali was with them — perhaps she could have turned them back on.

A destroyer almost caught him and Kaidan by surprise, but Wrex's shotgun and Garrus' sniper rifle took care of it. A large shape moved into their field of vision, latching to the tower — a geth dropship. Their guns wouldn't be enough this time, and John decided to try and reactivate the nearest turrets. Locating the terminal, with the help of Kaidan, he managed to bring the weapons to life.

Once their path was cleared of geth, the greatly damaged dropship departed. After fighting their way through more geth and krogan and a bunch of turrets, they finally reached one of Sovereign's claws. They were almost there. John located a hatch leading back into the tower.

* **

The Council chambers were on fire – which was pretty impressive given that John was certain the building materials weren't flammable. He only knew Saren was in the chambers, but not where exactly. Would Tali and Jane have confronted him? He hoped not.

John, Garrus and Ashley took the lead, weapons at the ready, scoping the room.

"Geth!" Garrus cried, seeking cover behind a low wall.

They killed the trooper easily, but the smoke and the dim lighting made it harder to see anything. As they climbed up the stairs, six more troopers appeared, but luckily the chambers' trees, rocks and fountains offered plenty of cover. John had a last geth in his sights and was about to take it when a combat drone came out of nowhere and started attacking it. He used the distraction to neutralize it.

He thought he'd seen Saren standing on the petitioner's stage, but when they reached the top of the stairs, it was empty.

"He's on his hoverboard!" Jane said as she and Tali came running from their right, apparently unharmed. Just then, the turian flew up from beyond the console.

"Grenade!" Tali warned. They all rolled to the side to try and take cover. Kaidan, Wrex and Liara threw biotic shields up as Saren's grenade exploded, deafening them, but causing little damage. The turian pointed his gun in his direction but, seemingly changing his mind, lifted it after a second.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard!" he said almost cordially.

"Had to wipe out a few hundreds of your followers along the way," John said from behind his cover, checking that his teammates were unharmed. "Sorry if I kept you waiting."

"You've lost, you know that, don't you? In a few minutes, Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel's systems. The Relay will open. The Reapers will return!"

"Don't count us out yet, Saren," he replied. "We've still got a few tricks up our sleeves."

He hoped the Alliance fleet was waiting outside the Citadel as planned. But if he couldn't reach the console to upload Vigil's file, all the cruisers in the world wouldn't make a difference.

"I will admit, I underestimated you. You've pursued me with cunning and tenacity. You survived our encounter on Virmire. You're a credit to the Spectres after all, but you are still not my match. I've changed. Improved. Sovereign has... upgraded me."

That would explain the fact that the Spectre looked more like a husk than a turian.

"You let Sovereign implant you? Are you insane?"

"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Virmire I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About Sovereign manipulating me. About indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was implanted to strengthen my resolve. Now my doubts are gone. I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand that the Reapers need organics. Join us, and Sovereign will find a place for you too."

Jane stood up from the low wall she'd been crouching behind, earning a curious glance from Saren.

"Sovereign is controlling you through your implants," she yelled to be heard over the alarm in the background. "You're smarter than that, Saren."

"You would never believe anything like that if you were in your right mind," John added. "Can't you see that?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Shepard. The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strengths of both, the weaknesses of neither. I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!"

"Organic and synthetics don't need the Reapers to be allied!" Jane said.

"Saren, you're spouting ideological bullshit," John said, trying to draw his attention away from her. "That doesn't have to be anyone's destiny. Not even yours. Sovereign hasn't won yet. I can still stop it from taking control of the station. Step aside and the invasion will never happen!"

"The Alliance is ready to destroy Sovereign! Just open the Citadel," Jane added.

"We can't stop it! Not forever. You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful. Nothing and no one can stand against them!"

Jane stepped all the way out of cover, in the middle of the stairs.

"You're wrong!" she said, opening her arms emphatically. "We **can** stop them, if you will just take a stand and fight them! The Protheans had been building a weapon, we just need a couple more years to complete it!"

Saren seemed to hesitate. "Maybe... maybe you're right," he said, to John's wonder. "Maybe there is still a chance for..." He brought his hands to his head, grunting and grimacing in pain.

John stood up next to Jane, his weapon forgotten at his side, to implore the turian. "Fight it, Saren. Remember who and what you are. A turian. A soldier. An officer. A Spectre, sworn to defend the galaxy. Sovereign can't take any of that away from you unless you let it!"

Saren cried in pain, losing his balance. "Aargh! The implants! Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry. Even if you're right... it's too late for me."

"It's not over yet!" Jane cried. "You can still redeem yourself!"

Saren stood straight for a moment, staring at the two Shepards. In a pacified tone, he suddenly said: "Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you."

"Don't!" Jane said, running towards him, knowing what was about to happen. But she couldn't overrun the bullet the rogue Spectre put in his brain. He stood still for one more second, then crumpled off his hoverboard and out of sight, shattering the glass floor under them. John caught up with Jane, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I was hoping to save him this time," she explained slowly. "He could have been a great ally."

"He was too far gone," John said.

Their teammates joined them.

"Have you got the file?" Jane asked.

He nodded and stepped closer to the terminal, activating his omnitool. The file transfer started automatically, and after a few seconds a new interface appeared on the screen.

"Vigil's date file worked," John explained to his team, unsure they could understand the language onscreen. "I've got control of all systems."

Jane was already working on the console.

"Quick, open the station's arms!" Tali suggested. "Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign down before he gains control--"

"On it," Jane interrupted.

"A big part of the turian fleet was sent to patrol the neighboring relays," Kaidan commented, "I hope they made it to the Citadel."

"Anderson sent a warning to Arcturus — hopefully they'll have taken him seriously and sent reinforcements," Ashley explained.

"Saren locked the relays leading to the Citadel, and I don't know if they had time to come through," Jane said.

"We have to open them immediately," John said.

Liara stepped in between Jane and John. "See if you can open the communications channel," she asked. As soon as he did, they heard radio chatter from the fleet.

". _..Destiny Ascension_ " the message was broken, but understandable. " _Warp drives off line, kinetic barriers down 40%. The Council is on-board, I repeat, the Council is on-board._ "

" _Normandy to the Citadel. Normandy to the Citadel,_ " Joker's voice came on, " _Please tell me that's you Commander._ "

"It's me, Joker," John and Jane replied simultaneously.

"I'm here," John went on.

" _It's good to hear from you, Commander. We caught that distress call. I am sitting in the Andura sector with the entire Acturus fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in._ "

"You'd sacrifice human lives to save the Council?" Wrex asked. "What have they ever done for your kind?"

"This is bigger than humanity!" Garrus argued. "Sovereign's a threat to every organic species in the galaxy!"

"That's why you can't throw away reinforcements trying to save the Council," the krogan countered. "Hold them back until the Citadel arms open up and the human fleet can go after Sovereign!"

"There are almost ten thousand lives on the Ascension," Liara reminded them.

Jane ignored the conversation behind her. "Opening the relays now, Joker. Send in the cavalry!"

". _.. Commander, what are your orders?_ "

"You heard her," John replied impatiently, "Save the Destiny Ascension."

" _Yes, sir!_ "

"I hope the Council appreciates this," Wrex grumbled.

Jane moved towards the group again. "Listen, I've been there. I made the same decision as you the first time. The Council had ignored all my warnings and I was mad as hell against them. But the new Councilors weren't any help. Them?" she pointed towards the ceiling. "They will owe us. And they will believe us. If we save them, the Council'll be our bitch."

"Wow, calm down there, evil twin," John said.

"Human casualties will be very high," Tali commented.

"They're soldiers. They know what they signed up for," John said, as much to convince her as to convince himself.

As soon as the Alliance fleet had come through the relay, the Alliance soldiers heard Admiral Hackett's orders in their headset.

" _Alliance ships, move in,_ " the raspy voice said. " _Save the Destiny Ascension!_ "

" _Commander, we're picking up reinforcements!_ " an asari said on the channel. " _It's the Alliance! Thank the Goddess!_ "

Through the windows of the chambers, they saw the wards of the citadel open ever so slowly. John stepped to the edge of the bridge to look at Saren's body, lying in the grass below them.

"Make sure he's dead," he said to no one in particular.

"I should warn you, he's going to come back," Jane said loud enough for everyone to hear. "Sovereign's going to possess him or something."

Wrex and Garrus had jumped into the garden, and Wrex discharged his shotgun into the Spectre's head.

"I don't think so."

"I assure you... Oh, whatever, you two climb back up. Who has grenades? We're going to throw them all in together. I want his body in pieces. Sovereign's not going to do much harm with a turian meat jigsaw."

John and Kaidan helped the other two climb out of the hole. Wrex, Ashley and John took out all their grenades and, while everyone sought cover, on John's signal, they threw them into the garden. They crouched behind a wall for shelter. There was a deafening explosion, and a second later a rain of glass shards, wood chips and metal bits covered in blue blood. After checking that no one was hurt, Jane and John peered over the bridge.

"Now, he's not coming back," John said.

"Poor bastard," Jane murmured.

" _Normandy to Commander Shepard,_ " came Joker's voice. " _The Destiny Ascension is safe._ "

They turned to the window. The Citadel was halfway open now. In between the wards, they could see explosions. Unlike in the vids, the battle was utterly silent — all they could hear was the alarm that had been ringing in the background since the arrival of Saren.

With every passing minute less and less geth ships could be seen. Alliance vessels, but also turian and asari ships, were coming closer to aim directly at Sovereign. From where they were standing in the Council chambers, it felt like the fleet was targeting them.

Anderson and his troops joined them, just as Sovereign's red beam hit an Alliance cruiser which blew into a thousand debris pieces.

"No!" Jane raged.

"I hate sitting on the sidelines," Ashley agreed.

"You played a key-role," Anderson said to comfort them both. "You saved hundreds of lives in the Presidium today."

"How many did I send to their death?" Jane asked, gesturing at the battle.

"That was my order," John cut her.

Sovereign's beam destroyed three more cruisers in a matter of seconds.

"It's a slaughter..." Liara whispered.

" _Sovereign is too strong!_ " a human captain said on the comm channel. " _We have to pull back!_ "

" _Negative_ ," Hackett replied. " _This is our only chance. Take that monster down no matter what the costs._ "

Jane turned on her mike. “Admiral Hackett, this is Jane Shepard. Sovereign’s weak point is the source of its laser beam. Your ships must target it if you want a chance to take it down!”

“Copy,” the older soldier replied after a few seconds of silence.

"That's the Normandy!" John exclaimed, pointing at his ship zooming between debris and death rays.

"Come on Joker, make me proud!" Jane said, both hands splayed against the glass, her nose almost touching it.

Finally, under the assault of the three united fleets, the Reaper seemed to sway from the tower, and its shields flickered red.

" _Its shields are down!_ " Joker commented. " _Now's our chance._ "

" _Hit it with everything we've got!_ _Target the source of its laser._ " Hackett added.

Sovereign unlatched from the tower altogether. All the surviving ships fired simultaneously at it, tearing it apart.

" _Hold on my flank! We're going in!_ " Joker said.

"Where's he?" John peered out, but the Normandy was either too fast or too far for him to see. However, they had the best seat to watch the Reaper's insides light up in red, and the ship exploded in several gigantic pieces... one of which flew straight at them.

"Oh crap!" Jane swore, suddenly remembering how the battle had ended.

"Get away from the window!" John yelled. "Go!"

* **

Ashley had grabbed Jane and Anderson, who'd been closer to her. When she found her bearings again, she was still holding Jane's wrist. They were covered in glass and dirt, but alive and well. They both sat up gingerly. Further up, Anderson was brushing dust off Tali's suit, checking for damage.

"John..." Jane said. Ashley stood up and pulled her up. A few meters away, a mixed group of half a dozen people, including Garrus and Wrex, were trying to move heavy rubble. Liara used her biotics to lighten the load of a heavy piece of metal.

"We've found them! They're in here," Garrus said. When the two women came closer, they made out the blue glow of a biotic shield. Kaidan had used the last of his strength to protect John and himself from the wreckage. Once the load was taken off them, he lowered his shield.

"Mind his arm, I think it's broken," Kaidan told them.

The rescuers carefully pulled John and Kaidan out of the rubble. Both men were able to stand up, although John did seem to favor his arm. Ashley squeezed Jane's shoulder. "Don't cry, we won."

"I'm not crying," Jane said, wiping her cheeks to hide the tracks her tears made in the grime.

"She's just allergic to dust, right?" John said before wrapping his right arm around her shoulder in a tight embrace.


	19. Chapter 19 - after the Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short interlude between Jane & Anderson.

Anderson found Jane in the hospital lounge, where she was waiting for her crew to have their injuries looked at. John had had the worst of it, and given that it was only a clean fracture, they'd been very lucky.

The lounge had a beautiful view on the Presidium, and despite Saren's attack, it had been rather well preserved this time. The presidium’s ceiling still displayed the night time starry sky, but most lights were turned on and you could make out the silhouette of hundreds of workers and civilians milling about the walkways and boulevards, evaluating the damage. The fountains in the central lake had just been turned on again. The lounge was relatively quiet – the hospital wasn't nearly half as full as it had been after the first attack

She was sipping on juice when the Captain sat next to her on the bench.

"Captain," she acknowledged his presence with a nod. "How many losses?"

"Five cruisers on our side. The turians lost twenty."

"Oh. That's... good. I mean, it's terrible, but the first time around, we lost eight cruisers – and we didn't even try to save the Destiny Ascension."

"Once they knew where to aim, they were quick to take Sovereign down. That piece of intel was crucial, Shepard."

She pulled on one of her compression bandages to scratch at the peeling burn under it.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine. Just tired."

He lifted a skeptical brow. "According to doctor Chakwas, you were in a coma just a few days ago."

"I guess I should send Cerberus a thank you card, then. They're the ones who gave me all these cybernetic enhancements," she said, waving a dismissive hand over her body.

"Cerberus, huh?"

"I'll turn myself in to the Alliance, now that this is over. I'm sure they'll want to hear my story."

Anderson clasped his fingers in his lap.

"Yes, about that... it's going to be messy. I've been in touch with Admiral Hackett, although we haven't had time for a full debrief. There's going to be a hearing – not only for you, but there's the case of the mutiny of the Normandy crew."

"They'll grace us. They did for me."

"And they'll want to hear all the crew members about the strange woman who sneaked onto the Alliance's most expensive, top-of-the-line stealth frigate with in-depth intel on Saren. And started ordering around its pilot during the final battle."

That got a chuckle out of her. "It pissed me off at the time, but I'm glad Joker waited for John's orders. His service record is full enough, what with stealing the Normandy _twice_ now."

"At least he was obeying orders, this time."

"Has she docked yet?"

"Yes, and it's on lockdown again, until we clear all this. Can I trust you not to punch the ambassador again?"

"Don't worry, Captain. My hand still hurts." She threw her cup into a nearby bin. "I'm ready to turn myself in, if you will."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've slowed down the posting of the fic because I'm having difficulties with pacing. I'm currently writing chapter 24, but a lot of the content of chapters 19-23 are just short scenes/interludes articulating the plot of Mass Effect with the sequel loosely based on Mass Effect 2 & 3\. It feels awkward to post them each as their own chapter, but stringing them together in one bigger chapter is weird too.
> 
> I'm also debating whether I should keep posting in this story or start a new work for the plot beyond the first video game. Because at this rate it'll have a hundred chapters and that sounds like it could discourage readers.
> 
> If you've made it this far, it's fanlore discussion time:
> 
> Where does Joker sleep on the Normandy?
> 
> I've made up my opinion, which may or may not show up at some point in the story, but I'd love to hear from you!


	20. Chapter 20 - I have no fancy name for it

"Bye! Love you," Ashley said as the screen flickered off. "Okay, LT, I'm good to go."

"That your sister?" Kaidan asked from where he'd been waiting for her. "She's cute."

"Well, she thinks you're cute too! Ever since she saw you and the Commander in that Battlespace episode, she keeps asking me if I'm dating either of you."

Kaidan cleared his throat.

"That's..."

"Chill out. I don't do fraternization. Too much on the line, with my background."

They left the hotel where the Alliance put them up while on shore leave. Three days earlier, they’d been summoned to the Alliance Citadel Headquarters to give their report on the Battle of the Citadel, along with other key members of the Normandy crew. But since then they’d been given free leave of the Citadel.

A familiar red-clad krogan hailed them as he made his way towards the hotel.

"Alenko! Williams!"

Ashley smiled at the sight of Wrex, and surprised herself. When did she come to appreciate him?

"Wrex! Was wondering when we'd see you again," Kaidan said.

"Hah, I'm about to leave. I wanted to see Shepard first. Are they still holding him?"

"Not quite, but he's required to testify at Jane's hearing," the lieutenant explained.

"Too bad. My ride leaves in a couple of hours. I'm going back to Tuchanka. I wanted to tell Shepard – and you, I guess... thank you. Shepard's a good soldier. It was good to fight by his side. And it's made me aware of the Reaper threat."

"Is that why you're going home?" Ashley asked. She'd thought about it, too – warning her family, being with them.

"Yes. The krogan are a mess. We used to be a force to contend with, but these past few centuries... Someone's got to pull the clans back together, and that's going to be me. I'm done sitting back. The krogan are going to show the Reapers what we're made of."

"We're going to need you guys," Kaidan agreed.

"Why are they even holding _her_? Don't they know the part she played in defeating Saren? It would have been a much bloodier fight without her."

They strolled along a presidium avenue.

"They just want to understand where she came from," Ashley said with a shrug. "I think I believe her... now, but this still doesn't make sense. It breaks all the known rules of, well, the universe."

"Being unexplainable is against Alliance regulations?" Wrex asked with obvious disdain.

"Doesn't it bother you, her... well, her presence here?"

"Nope," he said with a shrug of his massive shoulders. "It's just unexplained, not unexplainable. Humans haven't known of FTL travel for long, have they? It was unexplainable once, but that doesn't make it impossible. Same for her arrival. It just that we don't understand it yet. I don't care how she arrived, I only care what she does now that she's here."

"I can appreciate that point of view."

They said farewell to the old merc before the elevator to the Wards, and walked to the stores to see the newest arrivals.

* * *

On the seventh evening, the Shepards trudged into the wing of the hotel booked for Alliance personnel without Jane's usual armed escort. Ashley, who was reading in an armchair in the lounge immediately noticed it and sprung to her feet with a smile.

"Is it over? You're free of charges?"

John put a hand up to slow her down.

"They still haven't made up their minds what to do with Jane, but they trust me to "guard" her," he said with finger quotes.

Jane had just opened her omnitool and it pinged with a notification.

"It's Tali – crap, I forgot I told her not to leave the Citadel until-- never mind, she wants to see us. Do you guys fancy eating out?"

"Sure," John said. Ashley nodded her assent. The hotel food was correct, but not exceptional by any means. "I'll get Kaidan. Why don't you gals wait for us in the hall? See if Garrus wants to come?"

As the women ambled down the corridor, John went to knock on Kaidan's door. His face lit up when he saw John.

"Hey, wanna come in?" he asked, tilting his head towards the room.

"We're just-- oh, hell, just a minute then."

As soon as the door slid close, he wrapped a hand around Kaidan's waist.

"I've missed you."

Kaidan looped his arms around John's neck, a thumb dancing along his jaw. John leaned to press his lips to Kaidan's, but pulled back when he tried to deepen the kiss.

"I told the girls we'd be there in a moment – we're eating out with Tali and Garrus. Come with us."

Kaidan removed his arms with a curt nod.

"Sorry, I know we haven't had much time recently-"

"Hey, it's okay. I understand," Kaidan said. "I'm pissed, I'll admit it, but I'm pissed at the brass, not at you. Let's get going before they start to gossip," he said, giving John's hand a comforting squeeze. He grabbed a hoodie and opened the door for John.

* * *

They found Tali waiting on her own at a little restaurant in Khitoi Ward. Garrus had declined the invitation, since his father and sister were visiting the Citadel, after learning of his implication in the Battle of the Citadel, as the media now called it.

"I'm glad you told me to stay, Jane," Tali said, nodding her thanks to the asari waitress who deposited a sealed meal-in-a-bag before her. "I wanted to go back to the Rayya and warn the quarians about the Reaper threat, but I would have missed the job offer of a lifetime."

Jane was busy chewing, but John asked the question she had on her mind.

"What, who offered you a job? Come on, you can't leave it at that."

With a coy tilt of her helmet, Tali went on:

"I was summoned to a C-Sec precinct for my hacking into the Presidium's security network. I was scared, but Garrus offered to accompany me. They were impressed, and when I explained to them how I did it, they said they wanted to hire me to become the new network security analyst, to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Wow! Given C-Sec's usual treatment of quarians..." Kaidan said.

"In all my time in the Citadel I don't think I've ever met a quarian who worked for C-Sec. That would be an enormous step forward for your people," Jane commented.

Tali nodded emphatically. "When I told my father, he couldn't believe it! He thought it must be a trap of some sort, but I don't think so. Saren's attack really made C-Sec reconsider their security protocols."

"Have you accepted?" Ashley asked.

Tali took a sip of her meal through a straw before answering.

"I'm... I don't know. I wanted your opinions. This is strange – a great honor, but also... daunting. Many quarians end up settling somewhere during their pilgrimage, rather than make it back to the flotilla. I just never pictured it could be the Citadel. This is such responsibility."

"I'll miss you if you choose to stay here, but I'll be glad for you. And we could see each other every time we dock at the Citadel," John said.

"Thank you, Shepard."

"You're welcome to stay on the Normandy as well," he added. "Your help would be greatly appreciated."

"You're what, twenty-two? This seems a bit young for such a big job..." Jane mused. "But then, you were even younger when I invited you on board the Normandy to chase Saren. My goodness, what was I thinking? You're just a baby." Jane covered her mouth with her hand.

"I think Tali's made it out okay, Jane," Ashley said with a smile.

"And you were, what, twenty-three on Akuze?" Kaidan added.

"That's completely different," Jane said.

"I had just graduated out of N7," John continued as if reading Jane's mind. "I was a trained soldier. Jane's right, it was completely irresponsible of me to bring Tali on these missions. If I'd known you were so young..."

"You made me fill a form! You knew my age!" Tali answered, her fists balled on her hips.

John and Jane looked into their plates sheepishly.

"They never read the paperwork," Ashley explained in a mock whisper.

"The Alliance demands that contractual workers fill the forms, it wasn't my idea," Jane said, scratching the back of her neck.

"Never mind, I think experience has shown that Tali was not only able to hold her own, but a skilled and useful ally," Kaidan said, ever the diplomat.

Jane and John nodded.

"There's another reason I wanted to see you," Tali said, sounding less angry. "Jane said there were things I needed to know before I went back to the flotilla, important things the quarians should know..."

"Actually, one thing is important for the future of the quarians. The other is more of a familial matter. Have you sent geth parts to your father already?"

Tali nodded. "He asked me to send him some parts for his research. Whenever we had time after a fight I would pick up bits and pieces on fallen geth and send them to him when we went ground-side. Why?"

Jane and John exchanged a look.

"You're not going to like what I have to say, but I swear I'm not trying to upset you," Jane said. "Your father is – or will be – attempting to reassemble the parts into full-functioning units, and to network them. At some point, in about two years and a half, the geth on board the Alarei will become sentient and kill everyone on board, including your father."

"That's... that's ridiculous," Tali countered, shaking her head. "I've only ever sent deactivated samples... small parts...I'm not stupid enough to..."

Jane interrupted her with a finger.

"I know that, Tali, I know you took all the necessary precautions. The geth infiltrated the Alarei's computers. Rael'Zorah... he's the one who ordered his scientists to bypass standard safety protocols. He wanted to retake the homeworld, he'd promised you a house on Rannoch...”

Tali inhaled sharply. Then she stood up.

"I..." She lifted a gloved hand to her helmet. "Nobody knows that. You know... you know too much."

"Tali..." John said.

"I need to go. I need to think. Sorry, Shepard."

And with that, the young woman almost ran out of the restaurant.

Jane cleared her throat. "That could have gone more... smoothly."

"Is it true? What you said?" Ashley asked.

"Of course! I wouldn't make her go through that if I didn't believe it was necessary."

"Well, hopefully she'll talk to her dad, see that it doesn't happen again," Kaidan said. "She seems to believe you."

Jane activated her omnitool. "I have a copy of the recording her father made for her before he died... I don't know if I should send it to her. It's not mine to keep, but I don't want to cause unnecessary distress." She looked to John for advice.

"I don't know." He leaned with his elbows on the table. "It's not yours to keep, sure... but her father's alive and well, and will remain so if we have a say. It would certainly distress her."

She looked at the omnitool. "Erasing it feels wrong somehow, even though... that part of my life is gone for good."

John rubbed a comforting hand between her shoulder blades.

"Rael'zorah wrote to us after Tali came on board. It's obvious he cares for his daughter. Maybe we should contact him directly about this."

* * *

On the 8th day, the hearing ended at mid-day for a well-deserved break, and John met Garrus who'd just seen his father and sister take a shuttle back to Palaven. John would have liked meeting Garrus' sister Solana, but he was wary about his father, as Garrus had told him he didn't like Spectres generally speaking. It wasn't that John was afraid of being disliked, he had a fair share of enemies, but more that he didn't want his behavior to affect Garrus' relationship to his father in a negative way.

They went for a walk of the wards to see the damage cause by the debris from the battle.

"So, Wrex has gone back to Tuchanka, Liara's on Thessia for her mother's funeral, and Tali's received a job offer from C-Sec. I'm not saying the Normandy's losing her crew at an alarming rate, but... well, she is. What about you, Garrus?"

"Do you want me to stay, Shepard?"

John shook his head. "This isn't about what I want."

Garrus playfully hit him on the arm. "Stop with the self-sacrificing crap, Shepard. Always putting others before you."

"I don't!" he protested. "... not _always_."

"I'd like to stay."

"Really?"

"You sound surprised."

John shrugged. "You wanted to see Saren arrested. Well, stopped. You got it. I thought, with the role you've played in this, you might want to apply for Spectre candidacy again. It would certainly play in your favor. Plus, I know a Spectre who'd totally back you."

"Saren's out of the picture, but we both know this is only the beginning. Stopping the Reapers from annihilating all intelligent life in the galaxy seems more important, at the moment, than becoming a Spectre. When I see how the Council's been treating you so far... It doesn't make the title sound really appealing. I'll reconsider it once we've saved the galaxy."

John couldn't contain his smile. "I'm glad you're sticking with us."

"What about Liara? Have you been in touch with her?"

"Yeah, about that... well, I think there's going to be a lot of work for her in the years to come. We're going to need our little prothean expert, alright. I can't tell you much more – this is still confidential, but... as soon as this hearing's over, and the brass has made up their mind on a plan of action, I'll let you know."

"Is Jane telling them everything?"

"Everything. The good and the ugly. It's so intricate, there's no way she's making this up."

"I still don't know how I got those injuries – remember the picture?" Garrus said pensively, tracing the edge of his mandible with a talon.

They leaned against a wall while a bunch of salarian kids, holding hands two by two and led by a teacher, crossed the lane in front of them.

"You took a rocket to the face. You became a vigilante on Omega and pissed off three mercenary outfits who banded up together to take you out. It ended up with a stand-off between you and a gunship. You almost lost. Long story."

"You're making this up."

"Nope. But you'll have to ask Jane for the details."

"Spirits..."

* * *

On the 10th day, Tali called John and Jane to apologize for her behavior, not that they thought she had anything to apologize for, and asked to be allowed to be on their side in the fight to come.

Jane might have jumped with joy.

* * *

After twelve days of spilling her guts in front of military officials, assessments by physicians and psychologists, giving every kind of biological samples, Jane was officially cleared of any infraction, instated as contractual worker with the Alliance, and placed under John's command. Her existence was retroactively written into the Alliance secret military archives, but wasn’t made official – the Shepards and Alliance Command agreed that it could prove strategically beneficial to keep her existence secret. John Shepard was again given free leave of the Normandy.

They felt like they should celebrate not being committed to psych eval or locked up, but both were weary. Turns out that sitting and speaking and taking notes all day long could be as tiring as fighting geth.

Instead, Captain Anderson invited them for dinner, along with Joker, Kaidan, Ashley, Pressly and doctor Chakwas. Their self-imposed rule not to talk about work was forgotten within the first hour. The Shepards and Anderson let the others hypothesize about why the Council had asked to talk to John the next day; Joker's drunken assertion that they wanted to nominate John as the first human Councilor being the closest to the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New fanlore question: where on the Citadel are the children??? Okay, I know that realistically it's probably a question of not wanting to model and animate children NPCs, but it always bugged me. I swear that in Mass Effect 3, you can hear a baby cry in the Refugee area, but it's invisible.
> 
> Imagine little baby salarians and turian toddlers and asari kids running around the Citadel!


	21. A new place for mankind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with chapter 21, so I give you chapter 22 as well to make up for it.

The Council had invited John and the captain along with Udina, but knowing what this was about, John had demanded – and obtained – that his team attend the event. They had been summoned at 18:00, Citadel time, on the bridge closest to the Relay Monument. The area had not been reopened to the public yet, and it was only the eleven of them: the three Councilors, the ambassador, John, Anderson, and further in the back, Garrus, Tali, Ashley, Kaidan and Jane.

Jane had told them about the aftermath of the Battle of the Citadel in her timeline, but this Battle had ended vastly differently, and she didn't quite know what to expect from the Council.

"Ambassador. Captain. Commander Shepard," Councilor Tevos' clear voice carried easily to where they were leaning againt the railing. "We have gathered here to recognize the enormous contributions of the Alliance forces in the war against Sovereign and the Geth."

"Many humans lost their lives in the battle to save the Citadel, brave and courageous soldiers who willingly gave their lives so that we – the Council – might live," the Salarian councilor carried on, following an undoubtedly well-rehearsed script.

"There is no greater sacrifice, and we share your grief over the tragic loss of so many men and women," Councilor Sparatus said.

Unconsciously, Jane, Ashley and Kaidan had straightened at the mention of their fallen fellow soldiers.

"The Council also owes you a great personal debt, Commander. One we can never repay. You saved not just our lives, but the lives of billions from Sovereign and the Reapers," Councilor Tevos said.

"They believe us!" Tali whispered.

"Commander Shepard, your heroic and selfless actions serve as a symbol of everything humanity and the Alliance stand for," the Councilor Esheel added.

"I wish I’d recorded that," Ashley joked.

"And though we cannot bring back those valiant soldiers who gave their lives to save ours," the turian councilor said, "we can honour their memories through our actions."

"Humanity has shown it is ready to stand as a defender and protector of the galaxy," the asari councilor said. "You have proved you are worthy to join our ranks and serve beside us on the Citadel Council."

"No way!" Ashley whispered, giving Jane a side look.

Ambassador Udina straightened and, jutting his chin, replied immediately:

"Councillor, on behalf of humanity and the Alliance we thank you for this prestigious honour and humbly accept."

"Argh!" Jane mouthed, rolling her eyes.

"Please, not him!" Kaidan prayed.

"We will need a list of potential candidates to fill humanity's seat on the Council," the salarian councillor said.

"Given all that has happened, I am sure your recommendation will carry a great deal of weight, Commander," Councilor Tevos hinted. "Do you support any particular candidate?"

John exchanged a quick look with Jane, then with Anderson, before replying in tow:

"We need someone with the courage to stand up for what he believes in. Someone like Captain Anderson."

The ambassador almost choked. "Are you sure about this, Commander? The captain is a soldier, not a politician."

"We've already got too many politicians on the Citadel. We're going to war. The Captain would be perfect for the job."

"Well said!" Garrus commented.

"I think it's an inspired choice. The Council would welcome him with open arms, should he accept," the asari councilor said.

"I'm honoured, Councillor. As humanity's representative, I'll do everything in my power to help the Council rebuild," Anderson replied.

"Sovereign's defeat marks the beginning of a new era for both humanity and the Council," Councilor Sparatus said.

John shook his head. "Sovereign was only a vanguard. The Reaper fleet is still coming. Hundreds of ships, maybe thousands. And we're going to find some way to stop them. I have learnt that the Council will not act without proof, so I'll find it, and bring it to you." On that, he gave a brief bow and left, joining his team.

"Shepard's right. Humanity is ready to do its part," they heard Anderson continue in the background. They didn’t stay to hear the rest of his speech and followed John instead.


	22. Last night on the Citadel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy interlude with John and Kaidan before they go on new adventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut, because smut is hard, and John is tired.
> 
> Some day, I promise, I'll give you some smut.

Kaidan's hotel room had two clocks. The digital clock had 20 hours, following Galactic Standard time, and currently showed 19:80, Presidium time. Since the hotel catered to humans, it was "translated" on an analog clock into a 24-hour, 60-minute an hour time, something more understandable, and yet not quite correct, since the GST day really lasted almost 28 Earth hours. Kaidan tried not to think too hard about it. No matter how long you worked in space, the human circadian cycle never really adapted to other day lengths.

He just knew he should probably be sleeping, since this was to be his last night in a real bed before embarking on the Normandy again, but before going to check on his ship, John had said he wanted to see him after, and Kaidan felt like a giddy teenager before a date.

His omnitool pinged with a text notification 2 minutes before 20:00.

_Come see me if you're not asleep. J._

The hotel's corridor was deserted and dark. The door opened a second after he rang. John looked tired, his fatigues were crumpled, but he was smiling.

"She good to fly?" Kaidan asked as he stepped into the room. It was larger than his, rank oblige, but not spacious either – about the size of the Captain's quarters on the Normandy.

"Yep. They've moved a few things around in the lower deck to accomodate our crew. You'll see tomorrow."

They moved into each other's embrace as one, lips meeting in a chaste kiss. Then John rested his forehead on Kaidan's shoulder. He carded his fingers through John's short hair, massaging his scalp gently.

"We can go to bed, if you're tired. To sleep, I mean," Kaidan suggested.

John lifted his head to look at Kaidan.

"Actually, I was hoping to talk."

He broke away from Kaidan's arms and sat on the bed, scooting until his back was to the wall, and patted the covers next to him with his right hand. A knot of tension started to form in Kaidan's stomach. Rather than take on John's invitation, he asked:

"Is this the moment you tell me it was nice while it lasted, but we can't keep doing this?"

John frowned, then shook his head when he realized what Kaidan meant.

"Jeez, Kaidan, I don't want to stop. I just want to make sure we're on the same page." He patted the covers again, and Kaidan toed his shoes off and sat down next to him. John brushed his fingers along Kaidan's left arm before taking his hand, interlacing their fingers. "Okay, I'm not great at this talk thing. As we've just seen. So, uh... let me try again."

"That was probably me overreacting," Kaidan conceded with a chuckle, "but go on."

"Um, okay. So, I don't really do casual sex, you know. I mean, I did, let's be honest. But I'm thirty now and for a while, I've been hoping... to find someone serious. The real deal. I just wasn't planning it... I didn't foresee it being someone I work with. Someone under my command." His fingers danced between Kaidan's as he gestured, trying to find the right words. "I want this. You and me. But I can't give you a proper relationship. I can't... obviously, we can't be totally out about this. If some people found out... You know how things are. There’d be talk of favoritism-- of compromising the chain of command. Well, I’m not worried about me, I'm a Spectre now, but you... I don't want to put your career at risk."

Kaidan squeezed his hand, encouraging hims to continue.

"I'm not ashamed of us, I want this to be clear. I'm goddamn happy to be with you. I want to shout it for the whole world to hear. I hate having to... treat you like a dirty secret. There's nothing dirty about you."

Kaidan wagged his eyebrows. "I must have been doing some things wrong, then. Seriously, Shepard, let me worry about the risks. We’re both adults. I know we can be discreet-- and fair to the rest of the crew. Whatever happens... if you wanna break up someday – I mean, we're not married, and I'm not foolish enough to think we're going to grow old and die together – but of all the reasons to break up with me, don't do it to protect my career, okay?"

John nodded, lost in his thought, then turned to face Kaidan. "But I care about you. That's what I wanted to say, I haven't been the most straightforward... I'm beating around the bush again. What I'm trying to say is, I'm serious about us."

Kaidan leaned until his head was resting against John's.

"John Shepard, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?"

John scoffed. "Come on, what is this, highschool?"

"Are you asking me to be your mistress?"

John gave him a mock punch. "I'm trying to have an emotional moment, here."

"I'll be your mistress."

"I'm asking you to be with me."

Kaidan cupped John's face and gave him a gentle kiss.

"I'm with you, Shepard. As long as you want to be with me."

John broke into a smile, which was soon overtaken by a yawn.

"Sorry about that," John said.

"It's been a long day."

"Sleep here tonight?"

"Sure... Lover."

“Now _that_ ’s ridiculous. That’s ground for breaking up.”

“Boyfriend?”

“I’ve got a name.”

“Sure, Shepard.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Executor Pallin has some info for the Council.

It was late in the Presidium. The ring's artificial sky had turned black and the embassies' quarters were almost empty as the three councilors made their way to the office of Executor Pallin. The turian welcomed them and gestured to the three chairs he'd had brought in for this meeting.

"Venari," the turian councilor said, "What is this worrisome matter you wanted to bring up?"

"My men and I have been reviewing the security footage from Saren's attempted coup for the past ten days. We've come up with what I believe could be a grave security flaw. I've led the investigation personally for fear of information leaks, and I wanted to have a good overview of the situation before I informed you. I believe we have another rogue Spectre on the loose."

Tevos frowned. The Executor switched on a screen on the wall of his office, displaying the footage from the Presidium tower on the day of the attack, from several angles. It showed Saren at the Petitioner's stage interacting with the console, while other frames showed Tali and Jane entering the room. Pallin zoomed in on this footage.

"These two women entered the audience chambers previously to Commander Shepard's team, although they are believed to be working with him."

"We've already viewed this footage," Tevos said. "They've been identified, they are Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, a contractual worker with the Alliance, and Jane Doe, an alliance marine. Shepard mentioned them in his report."

"Yes, the quarian provided us with the proof of Saren's treachery, I haven't forgotten her," the Executioner said. "It's the human I'm worried about. Doe, you said? Because her Spectre accreditations identify her as Jane Shepard."

Sparatus' mandibles twitched.

"Spectre?" the salarian councillor asked. "What are you talking about, Executor? Shepard - John Shepard - is the only human Spectre."

"The chamber's security systems were not entirely disabled by Saren. I was surprised to see they registered three different Spectre accreditations during the length of the incident - Saren was the first, John Shepard the last, and at the same time as these women entered, a second, unknown Spectre ID triggered the system."

The cam footage was replaced by lines of text. Sparatus stood up to step closer to the screen, although it was perfectly legible from their seats.

"Jane Shepard," he read aloud. "Systems alliance. April 11 2154, Earth time... Mindoir... Affiliation: Alliance Navy. Rank: Commander... Spectre nomination-"

"That's the same date Shepard was inducted," Tevos interrupted him.

"And the same birthdate, and birth location," Executor Pallin added.

"That's impossible. Spectre accreditations are unfalsifiable," Tevos said.

"That's what the Council has always claimed, indeed," Pallin said. He gestured to the screen. "Here's the proof it is not."

"That's..." Tevos didn't finish her sentence.

"Worrisome is a euphemism," Valern said.

Pallin considered the councillors, trying to read their facial clues, finally turning to the turian. "I was hoping this would be one of your tricks. That for some obscure political reason, you'd decided to keep the existence of the second human Spectre a secret."

Sparatus shook his head. "I've never met this woman in my life. Tevos, Valern, if this is true..."

"If Spectre accreditations can be faked, this is one the biggest security flaw in the history of the Council Space," Tevos said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And the Alliance broke our system? They're so backwards- I could believe it coming from the salarians, or even the quarians-"

"They cannot be faked," Councillor Valern said with a definitive tone. "They use a unique system combining a quantum key-"

"She's there. She's the proof it's possible," Tevos interrupted him. "Executor, has this Spectre accreditation ever been used or detected before? We need to know how long's she's been using it."

"You remember how Ambassador Udina was assaulted in his office before the Battle, shortly after meeting with Councilor Anderson, then Captain Anderson?" The Executor showed security footage of the embassies front desk. "Her accreditation triggered the security system around the same time as Anderson visited Udina. He's seen here with a woman in armor, which I assume is the same Jane Shepard, although she isn't to be seen with him in later footage."

"So the Councilor knows her. Interesting," Sparatus said, cupping his jaw in his gloved hand.

"There's more. After the Battle, she and Shepard were located at the Huerta Memorial Hospital, then even later at the Alliance Citadel Headquarters. Interestingly, she was under armed escort."

The screen now showed distant, but clear footage of the woman in her civvies, surrounded by three armed guards.

"For several days she was escorted to and from the Alliance HQ to an hotel. The first days she had an armed escort, but later she was only accompanied by Commander Shepard," Executor Pallin concluded.

"What does it mean?" Tevos asked. "Does she work for them or not?"

"Wait a minute," Valern intervened. "Can you match the footage from the audience chambers with the radio communications during the Battle?"

"The radio comms weren't recorded, Councilor," the Executor replied.

"What were you thinking of?" the turian councilor asked.

"When we were on board the Destiny Ascension, and the Alliance pilot asked whether they should focus on saving us or on attacking Sovereign?"

"...there was a woman. A feminine voice ordered them to rescue us, and then the Commander confirmed," Tevos recalled.

"There are other women on Shepard's team," Sparatus said. "The Eden Prime survivor, Benezia's daughter, the quarian kid..."

"So, Councilors," the Executor said, "What do you want to do about her?"

"Where is she currently?" Tevos asked.

"As far as I'm aware, still staying at that hotel. But a "Jane Doe" appears on the passenger manifesto for the Normandy, which is scheduled to take off in a day."

The Councilors exchanged looks of concern.

"We would have appreciated more time to make a decision, Executor Pallin," the asari councilor said.

"As it happens, Councilor, I have only been able to put this all together today. As I said, when I realized the importance of this matter, I took the investigation in my own hands. You wouldn't want rumors about an unapproved Spectre running around unchecked, would you?" the Executor replied dryly.

"We appreciate your concern, Venari," Councilor Sparatus said to defuse the situation, "as well as your hard work." Looking at his colleagues, he added: "That woman works with Shepard. As little trust as we put in him these last few months, he's turned out to be right, and his quick thinking has saved thousands of lives, including ours. I think we should give them a chance."

The asari councilor clenched and unclenched her fist, before nodding. "If we let the Alliance know that we know about her, they'll find a way to make her disappear. If we keep this to ourselves, then we can keep an eye on her comings and goings, track her Spectre identity, see what she makes of it."

"I'll get an STG team on her, make sure we know every time her accreditation triggers a security system, every time she boards a ship," Councilor Valern added. "I'll ask you to submit all your evidence to us, Executor Pallin."

"Thanks again for your cooperation, Executor," Councilor Tevos said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There I go with my original chapter-naming pattern again.
> 
> So I've given quite a lot of thought on how Spectres can prove their identity. Some Spectres work under cover, but they have to have some sort of Spectre ID they can show authorities when they gun down a baddie, or else you'd have all the mercs in the Galaxy claiming "Spectre authority! I do what I want!" when they get caught.
> 
> And that ID has to be the most secure there is. It has to be something that can't be stolen or copied. Something presumably unseparable from the Spectre themself. What form would it take? No idea, hence the half aborted technobabble in this chapter. But in my headcanon, it exists, and since it's irremovable from a Spectre, Jane's carried her own ID into John's universe, and it's being recognized by the Citadel's security.
> 
> Will it be an asset or her downfall? Who knows. Not I.
> 
> Also OMG I only have a chapter and a half written past this one! And with my new part-time job I really need to kick myself up the ass and get to writing.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team of the Normandy debriefs/pre-briefs? Pre-debriefs? Whatever, they talk before going on new adventures. 
> 
> There are lots of dicks too, according to my text editor. At least seven dicks. No smut, though.

During the hearing, the Normandy hadn't been neglected. She had suffered some light damage during the Battle of the Citadel, and during the repairs to the hull, some interior remodelling had taken place to make up for a few shortcomings that had come up during the chase after Saren.

John and Jane embarked early in the morning, while the ship was still quiet. Afting catching up with Navigator Pressly and Joker, they made their way to the second deck. Both were carrying a duffle bag, and Jane had a brand new armor in its case. At the bottom of the stairs they stopped, and Jane's eyes danced between the door to the captain's quarters and the lockers by the sleeper pods.

"I hope you don't mind, but I asked them to swap the bed to twin beds," John explained. "If you're still okay with sharing a room?"

"Like the good old days, uh? So we girls used to paint each other's nails and braid our hair. How did you deal with two sisters?" she asked as they moved into their quarters.

John dropped his bag on the bed on the right and sat down next to it. Jane was still standing. He shrugged. "I think I still remember how to braid hair. Not that I've had any practice since, but it seems like the kind of skill you don't forget, you know?"

Jane saw on his face that the mention of their little sisters made him as sad as she was feeling.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought them up."

"No.It's... nice. Having someone else who remembers them. You know?"

She nodded, and blinked fast to hold back the sting in her eyes.

She put her bag on her bed and started to sort out the contents into the drawers under the mattress. Brand new clothes, toiletries, a new journal, pens, a dime novel she'd probably never find the time to read. That must be what a spy adopting a new identity must feel like. Her hand encountered a cold metallic package, and it took her a few seconds to remember what it was.

"Catch!"

Despite his brace, John managed to catch the 2-pounds bag. He turned it upright to read the label. Vanilla-flavored coffee from the Comoros, Earth.

"Can't believe you remembered."

"I never forget my promises. I may not always keep them, but I don't forget."

"Given our consumption rate, we should be covered for... a week, give or take?"

"A fortnight. I got my own," she said, pulling another identical package. "So Pressly said they remodeled the cargo bay? Let's have a look."

Three new soldiers had reported for duty, a couple had received other assignments. Six Alliance scientists had also joined them for the current mission. While Pressly dealt with the new recruits, Engineer Adams, who'd spent the most time on board during the repairs, showed the modifications to the Shepards.

The cargo bay, who had rarely held much cargo, had been almost completely remodelled to house new crew quarters, the sleeper pods having been the source of much complaint. Four cells, stacked two by two, had been built on each side of the elevator, housing six bunks each, which would allow for longer rest periods and more intimacy. Garrus and Tali would have a room each too, and Tali's included an airlock and a decontamination area to allow her to leave her suit within her quarters.

"I think she cried," Adams explained. "It's hard to tell with the helmet."

"We've only known she'd be back a few days ago," John said, "How long did it take to build?"

"Eight days or so? It was Navigator Pressly's idea, you know," Adams said. "Even if Tali didn't come back, you never know when another quarian might stay with us."

"Pressly's a softie," Jane said. "But don't tell him I said that."

* * *

At 14:00, Normandy time, Joker undocked the ship. John planned the route at the CIC – through the closest Mass Relay to the Athena Nebula and the Nimbus Cluster to pick up Liara on Thessia, before retracing their flight back to the Widow System and toward the Exodus Cluster.

"Quite the detour," Joker commented, and in truth it was, but John didn’t feel like letting Liara travel on her own more than was necessary. Had it not been for Jane’s hearing, he would have liked to accompany the asari to Thessia. No one should have to bury their mother alone.

Once the frigate was on its way, John and his crew met in the Comm Room. In the absence of Wrex and Liara, Tali and Garrus were temporarily the sole aliens on board. Jane, Kaidan and Ashley were also there.

"So, now that we’re out of hearing of Alliance Command, let’s get you up to date with the latest top-secret plans," John said as he took his seat.

"Nice," Ashley said, sitting back and propping one leg over her knee. "I don’t mind following you blindly into death traps when we’re racing against the clock, Skipper, but it’d be nice to know what we’re going up against ahead of time, for once."

"Williams, ever the diplomat," Kaidan said, shaking his head with mock disapproval.

"Come on, LT, if we waited for you to ask the hard questions--"

Jane sighed loudly enough that every one turned to her.

"Chief Williams has a point," John conceded. "We have more leeway than we did while hunting Saren, and you guys deserve to know what you’re getting into. No more stealing Alliance ships or hacking the Citadel just on our good word."

"So what do you want to know, Ashley?" Jane asked.

"Er, well, for one, we know the Reapers will reach the Milky Way in about three years, right?"

Jane and John nodded.

"So, er, how are they going to go about it? We stopped them from using the Citadel, are they going to find a way around that, or… I mean, where are they, right now?"

"Alright, story-time, children," Jane said, propping her elbows on her lap. "I’ll tell you what I know, but remember that the Reapers didn’t brief me on this. I’ve got a general idea of what’s going on, and I could be mistaken, but here’s what we know: first of all, the Reapers live in dark space, outside of the galaxy. Second, they’ve got their own relay out there, that connects to the Citadel."

"As far as we know, it’s their only connection to the Milky Way," John took on. "Now that it’s disabled, they have to cross the whole distance between wherever they are and the galaxy. Unfortunately, they’re ships, they can travel at FTL speeds like us, but they’re still far enough that it’ll take them three years to reach the Milky Way."

"So, we put a spoke in their wheel, but it’s a minor setback for them," the lieutenant summed up.

"I… don’t think they have wheels?" Garrus said.

"It’s a saying," Ashley explained. "We thwarted their first plan, but they’ve got a plan B."

"That still gives us a major advantage over the Protheans: we know the Reapers are coming and we can get ready to welcome them," Jane said.

"Okay, so how do we get ready?" Ashley asked.

"There are several trails to explore," John said. "First, there’s this weapon the Protheans almost finished, the Crucible. But that’s a task for scientists. We know the most of the blueprint for it was hidden in the Mars archives all along, so the Alliance has set people on it. Part of the plan is also on Thessia, but that’s something we’ll have to negotiate with Asari High Command."

"I’ve got a feeling that it’s going to be a pain in the butt, as humans say," Garrus said.

"Yeah, the Council doesn’t take us seriously yet," John agreed.

"But Councilor Tevos thanked you for saving them from Sovereign and the Reapers," Tali said. "She sounded like she realized the threat we are facing."

"I’m hoping it’ll turn out better than it did in my time," Jane said. "Truth is, I didn’t have to deal with Tevos, since she died on the Destiny Ascension, but when I came back from the dead two years later? It’s like the Council had forgotten anything had happened. And so did the Alliance. I had to work with Cerberus, of all people, because they were the only ones to take the Reaper threat seriously."

"The Alliance is backing us this time, so it won’t come down to that," John said. "Hopefully."

"That’s not even negotiable," Jane said. "We run into the Illusive Man, I put a bullet between his eyes."

"Who’s the Illusive Man?" the quarian asked.

"We’re getting ahead of ourselves, sorry," John said. "The Illusive Man is the head of Cerberus."

"So, if Alliance Command is dealing with the Crucible, what are we tackling?" Kaidan asked.

"We have our work cut for us," Jane said. "But to answer your question, we’ll be focusing on four objectives," she said, raising four fingers to illustrate her point. "First, we need to convince the Council that the Reaper threat is real. For that, we want to bring a real, live Prothean to them. The last Prothean."

Ashley and Kaidan exchanged a look.

"Yes, there is one last living Prothean," John confirmed. "You understand why we couldn’t tell you before. If the Council, or worse, Cerberus, had heard of it, they’d have scrambled to get their hands on him."

"Liara won’t be able to contain herself," Garrus commented. "She’s not going to leave the poor guy alone until he’s answered every question she has about his society."

"Well, she’s going to be quite disappointed," Jane said. "Don’t get me wrong, she will be excited, but once she meets him she’ll realize the Protheans were not quite the admirable, spiritual civilization she makes them to be. At least, not that Prothean in particular. He was kind of a dick. But a good soldier."

"Commander Shepard, you’ve met the last living Prothean, what can you tell us about him? Oh, well, he’s kind of dick," Ashley said, mimicking an interview.

"When you said a dick, you mean a Udina kind of dick, or more like a Saren kind of dick?" Tali asked.

"Now Tali’s asking the real questions," Kaidan said.

Jane considered her words for a few seconds. "More of a Williams kind of dick. Doesn’t chew his words, but he grows on you. The kind of dick you like to have watch your back."

"Aww, you’re comparing me to a Prothean? I’m flattered, Ma’am," Ashley said, putting a hand over her heart.

"Well, remember the Protheans lost to the Reapers, Chief," John said without hiding his smile.

"Okay, that leaves three objectives," Kaidan pursued.

"Second," Jane said, lifting two fingers, "We need to deal with the remaining geth. We don’t know if they were taking their orders from Saren or directly from Sovereign, but since they’re machines, we can assume their programming hasn’t changed. There may still be outposts of geths out there that need to be dealt with, and no one in the Alliance has as much experience with the geths as we do, so that’s up to us. However, and that’s a big however, there’s something you need to know about the geth, and by the way that was the super important thing I was supposed to tell Tali and I forgot."

"Don’t worry about that, she’s right here," John said.

The young quarian had straightened.

"Here’s the thing about the geth we’ve been fighting so far: they’re not your typical geth," John continued. "The quarians have a negative view of the geths, and obviously our encounters with them over the last year have only reinforced that opinion."

"That’s nothing new," Tali intervened. "They’ve been attacking any ship that attempted to explore the Perseus Veil ever since the Morning War."

"Yeah," Jane agreed, "But they haven’t actively tried to destroy all organic life until Sovereign contacted them. They mostly applied a "live and let live" policy, if you will. They attacked only when they felt they were being threatened."

"Are you trying to say the geth are pacific, Jane? Cause that’s what it sounds like, and if that’s the case I’d like to point you to the history of my people. Specifically the war where the geth killed over 99% of the quarians and chased us out of our homeworld?"

"Yeah," Jane conceded. "That’s, hm, not pacific. At all." She entertwined her fingers together on her lap and looked down.

There was an awkward moment of silence.

"But…? There’s more to it, right?" Kaidan prodded.

"The geth sent an… emissary, if you will, that Jane met," John explained. Ashley raised an eyebrow, and Tali’s helmet tilted. "It… explained that most of the geth declined to help Sovereign, and that the few who did were considered heretics by the geth consensus."

"So… the geth we’ve been fighting are actually a minority?" Kaidan asked.

"That doesn’t erase what the geth did to my people!" Tali said.

"No, it doesn’t. But that’s not the priority right now. The fact is," Jane explained, "that the remaining heretics – Sovereign’s followers – are developing a sort of virus that could potentially convert the other geth to their point of view. And we cannot let that happen. So to get back to our goals, second, we have to destroy the remaining heretics and make sure this virus does not spread to the rest of the geth."

"When you say the ‘heretics’ are a minority… What kind of a minority are we talking about?" Ashley asked. "A third? A tenth?"

"If my memory serves right, about five percent."

"Kee’lah!" Tali said, hiding her helmet in her hands. "For every geth we’ve fought, there are twenty more waiting to turn against us?"

"I believe the Heretic station I visited with Legion – the geth emissary – had no fewer than 2.4 millions geth platforms," Jane said.

Kaidan sat back in his seat. "Well, fuck."

"You took the words right out of my mouth, LT."

"Spirits."

John and Jane exchanged a look.

"How did you come out of this alive?" Tali asked.

"I mean, it’s not like we fought two million geth. Most of them were inactive. Dormant. Whatever the term is."

"Did you list these goals in order of difficulty?" Kaidan asked. "Because if that’s the case, I’m not sure I want to hear number four."

"Let’s cut to the chase," John said. "Three is taking down Cerberus. Their leader, the Illusive Man--"

"Or Tim, as I like to call him," Jane interrupted.

"… is indoctrinated. Or will be at some point. He’ll try to stop the Alliance from fighting the Reapers because he thinks he can control them. "For Mankind" of course," John said with air quotes.

"Four is taking down the Collectors," Jane added.

"The Collectors? Are they even… real?" Garrus asked.

"They are. They live beyond the Omega 4 relay, and as you may have heard, ships that use that relay never come back. Until the Normandy SR2, that is."

"Why are we going after the Collectors?" Garrus asked.

"Well, since Saren and the geth didn’t work out for the Reapers, they’re going for the Collectors now as their troops. Research we did back in my time showed that the Collectors were more or less bio-engineered by the Reapers, so I assume they control them entirely."

"What Jane’s not saying, and which is crucial, in my view, is that now the Collectors are going to target humans specifically. Sovereign must have let them know that humans are to blame for protecting the Citadel, and so in return they’ll target us. Maybe they see us as the biggest threat."

"Which is flattering, when you thing about it," Jane said. "Of course, it’s all speculation. I’ve avoided one-on-one conversations with Reapers as well as I could. But when it comes to fact, if left unchecked, Collectors are going to abducts hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of humans in the years to come, in an attempt to build a human-like Reaper."

"So how do we kick their asses if we can’t follow them home?" Ashley asked.

"I did cross the Omega 4 Relay, but it was… a difficult mission. We need to acquire an Identify Friend/Foe device to go through the relay unharmed. And then, we have to sneak inside their base – thankfully they all live on one big hive-like ship – and destroy it from the inside."

"Couldn’t we just destroy the Omega 4 relay? If the Collectors are the only users, I’m sure we could convince the Council to go with it." Kaidan suggested.

"No. That’s not-- that’s-- No. It’s not a possibility," Jane stammered. "Destroying a Mass Relay is messy. Really messy. I’ve done it. We’re talking "destroy an entire star system" messy. And Sarahbarik is a pretty shitty system, none of its planets has been colonised and it is home to the Omega space station, but it’s also a gateway system. Joker," Jane said in her headset, "How many clusters does the Omega relay link to?"

"Let me pull up the map," the pilot replied. "Hm… fourteen, Ma’am."

"Thanks, Joker," John said.

"...so I’m pretty sure destroying the Omega 4 relay would also destroy the normal relay," Jane added.

"And that would disturb space transport throughout the whole galaxy," Kaidan said.

"Yeah. I’m not going to pretend I don’t enjoy explosions, but we’ll try no to blow that one," Jane concluded.

"That’s a lot of information to take in, I know," John said. "I wanted to debrief you though. Give you an idea of what the next few years will entail. We haven’t got a clear, day-by-day plan of action, but this is the general idea. Alright, crew, you’re dismissed. We have a few hours until we reach Thessia, and then more until Eden Prime. Enjoy it."

"I’ll see that Liara’s quarters are ready for her," Jane said as she stood up. John acknowledged it with a nod. Tali looked hesitant for a moment, then followed her out. Everyone filed out of the comm room, Ashley trailing behind. John seized the occasion: he’d wanted to have a talk with her for a while, but had just never found the time.

"Ash?"

"Skipper?"

"How are you feeling about going back to Eden Prime?"

She looked away, then back at John. "I’ve been thinking about it, and honestly? I… I don’t feel much. I feel like I should be more… upset? Somehow? But I have a hard time, connecting the two. This mission, and what happened back then. I guess we’ll see how it goes when we get down there. You’re not going to ground me on the Normandy, are you?"

John shook his head with a faint smile.

"The location for these ruins are thousands of miles away from the colony where we met. But I wanted to make sure you were… okay with that. We never got to talk about it, and I feel like… I should have given you that possibility. I know what it’s like to… to watch your whole crew die. So, what I’m trying to say, is that if you want to talk about it… I’m open to that."

Ashley sat back in her chair. "Did you ever go back? To Akuze, I mean?"

John leant against the railing. "No. They wanted a ceremony, but it’s just... it’s a tomb. There are still talks of colonizing the place once they get rid of the thresher maws, but if it was up to me, nobody would ever set foot there again."

"It’s not quite the same. You made it on your own. I had help. If you hadn’t shown up..."

"We’ll never know what would have happened. And I wasn’t the sole survivor. Corporal Toombs..."

"Yeah. Poor guy. It could have been you instead," Ashley winced. "Sorry. That was in poor taste."

"No, you’re right. I worked hard to get where I am, but some things are out of our hands. He’s getting help, I hear."

"Hmph." Ashley didn’t seem convinced.

"Did you talk to someone, after Eden Prime?"

"You mean, like a shrink?"

John rolled his eyes. "The proper term is psychologist, and most soldiers could benefit from seeing one from time to time. I know they’ve really helped me. It’s not voodoo. It’s backed up by science."

"I know," Ashley said, fidgeting. "I’m not saying… I saw one. Back on the Citadel. We talked, alright? Went over what happened. She said it’d help. I guess it did. I think I’m dealing… fine. I’m just not big with words."

"Okay."

"Okay." She stood up. "May I…?"

"Sure."

She made to leave the room but stopped as the door opened, resting a hand on the jamb.

"Something else bothering you, Chief?"

"You know..." she turned halfway. "You know it goes both ways, Commander? Like, if you want to talk… We know you’re a real person. We’re not going to judge you, or… Anyway. You know what I’m saying?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Ash."

"De nada, Skipper."


	25. Thessia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot to update the fic. My new job as Pathfinder for the Initiative is keeping me very busy! But I guess that also the case for the majority of my readers.
> 
> Next chapter is not finished, and with the new game out, I can't promise I'll be able to post it in two weeks, but it's definitely not abandoned. Just slowed down.

Thessia looked quintessentially asari - at least the republic the Normandy was flying over. Kaidan was in his seat next to Joker, and Garrus and Tali had joined them in the pilot's cabin to take in the view. The flight path took them over the country but they could still see the city skyline of Othirys, capital city of Arisonia, as they approached the spaceport.

"Their towers remind me of the Destiny ascension," Tali remarked. "It's strange how some design concepts permeate through a whole culture."

"Have any of you been to Thessia before?" Kaidan asked.

Joker made a face, annoyed that his space was being so crowded.

"No," Garrus answered. Tali shook her head.

"I kind of wish to know what all you guys' homeworlds look like now," Kaidan continued, willfully ignoring the pilot's grimaces.

"So would I," Tali said.

John and Jane arrived to check on the approach, Jane slipping into the chair to the left of the pilot that she seemed to have adopted now.

"Taking us on the scenic route Joker?" John asked, resting a hand on the back of the seat.

"There are delays at the spaceport. We should have the green light any minute-- here we go. SSV Normandy to Othirys approach on 5.45."

"Going to 5.45, SSV Normandy, good day and welcome to Othirys," an operator replied.

"Was this the part of Thessia you visited?" John asked.

"No, it was Armali. It looked vastly different - we didn't land on sea for one."

Indeed Joker was now flying the Normandy towards the sea, where a large circular structure was floating just a few kilometers from the coast. It had a central tower swooping towards the sky, surrounded by five shorter towers. An imperfect ring of low structures and hangars circled the towers, from which ships of various sizes, but mostly asari in design, were departing at regular intervals. Joker followed the operator’s docking instructions and, five minutes later, landed the Normandy on the outer side of the spaceport on a floating dock.

"This is a reminder that none of your passengers is in possession of a valid visa, and as such will not be allowed to leave the spaceport," the asari operator added once the landing procedure was complete.

"Well, there go our plans of invading Thessia."

"Joker, can you not start a diplomatic incident?"

"Sorry, Commander."

"We’re only here to pick up a passenger and some cargo," John added.

"Understood. Your passenger is already on the dock."

Tali, Garrus and the humans made their way to the dock, where Liara was indeed waiting for them. She was wearing a red dress and a coat to protect herself from the chilly sea wind, and carried a single piece of luggage, with a crate on the dock by her side. She smiled when she saw them and took the few steps to join them. She was greeted with hugs from all and Garrus, ever the gentleman, offered to carry the box.

"I see you’re still wearing a splint, Commander. How long until your arm is healed?"

Liara was escorted to her quarters while a few crew-members took care of loading the crates in the cargo bay.

"It’s more of a precaution really. I should be able to remove it in a couple of days, but since we won’t be seeing any fire fight in the foreseeable future, I’m keeping it on."

"Your quarters were remodeled while the Normandy was docked on the Citadel," Jane explained as they reached the infirmary. After exchanging a few pleasantries with doctor Chakwas, they moved on to the room. Originally a storage room for the med bay, most of its content had been moved to new storage in the infirmary itself. The room had been fitted with better lighting, a real bed, desk and chair, a well as a few shelves, and the walls and ceiling had been painted in a light shade of yellow. The asari dropped her bag on the bed and sat on it to smell the flowers on a vase on the bedside table.

"They’re gorgeous. What kind are they?"

"Daffodils. We had them on Mindoir," John said.

"They’re from Earth originally, but I found a florist shop on the Citadel who delivered them to the Normandy just before take-off," Jane added.

"My mother would have loved them."

"I know," Jane said.

Liara looked up, nonplussed.

"I take it we’ve had this conversation?"

"Sort o--"

"Normandy, this is your pilot speaking. We’re currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately two minutes time. Thank you for choosing Joker Airlines. Please enjoy your flight."

Jane and John rolled their eyes in sync.

"Want to give Thessia a last look before leaving?" John offered.

"Not really. I’ve had enough of this planet. I’ll be here if you need me," Liara said.

"Okay. I need to get to the CIC." John left the room.

"You should come have a look round the cargo bay," Garrus said, "they've changed a couple things down there too."

"I will," Liara promised. Tali and Garrus left with a nod, and Jane found herself alone with Liara, wondering of her presence was welcome.

"Can you stay a little while?" Liara asked, erasing all her doubts.

"Sure. How are you feeling?"

Liara opened her luggage and started putting away her belongings.

"I'm... empty. Sort of drained. After all the excitement of the past few months, going back to Thessia was... I can't find the words."

Jane gave her a few seconds, and Liara resumed.

"It didn't go as bad as I expected. My mother was a respected leader before she joined Saren, so it was seen as an act of treason of the highest order. I was afraid there would be a backlash to my mere presence, or at least at my insistance on giving her a memorial. People were... civil."

"That's good. They know you can't be blamed for her... doings."

Liara pulled a photo frame out of her bag and put it on her bedside table, switching it on to display a magnificent house surrounded by a flowery garden.

"Is that your home?"

"My childhood home. I sold it."

"You did? I'd have thought... No, I don't know. I don't know what it's like to have a proper home. But surely you had a lot of good memories attached to this place."

Liara caressed the frame. "Yes, but I've got to put them behind me. I can't pursue my research and live there. It would be abandoned anyway. I guess I could have rented it, but I don't like to think of strangers in my home. Which, technically, will be the case, but it's not my home anymore. I'm sure it'll make another family happy. They'll make their own memories there."

"Did you meet the new owners?"

"It's a single matriarch, but she may have children already. I didn't ask. I was glad to find a buyer so fast."

"What's her name?"

"You wouldn't know her anyway." Liara shrugged.

"I might surprise you. I've met a few matriarchs in my days. Matriarch Irissa, matriarch Aethyta..."

Liara froze. "Now that's... Come on, Shepard, you can't stop at that!"

"It's Aethyta, isn't it?"

"How?"

"Met her on Illium. She ran a bar. Had a few talks over drinks, she said she'd been friends with your mother a few centuries ago. So when you mentioned a matriarch..."

Liara looked puzzled. "She did not mention anything about my mother. She knew the house had belonged to her – it was all over the news – but she never said she'd known her personally."

"Maybe she hadn't got over it yet. Her death. She could have needed more time."

"Maybe..." Liara picked up the framed picture. "It's strange."

"You could try and get in touch with her some day. She may enjoy having someone to talk about Benezia with. And you are her friend's daughter, after all."

Liara put down the frame and nodded.

"I may do that. Thank you for telling me, Shepard."

"It's nothing."

"So, I heard something about the cargo bay?"

"Follow the guide," Jane said, sweeping her arm toward the door.


	26. Back where it all began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter did *not* want to get finished, so I just ended splitting it into two. Enjoy this part while I battle with words to try and finish the next one. ...and find those paragraphs which seemed to have vanished through a wormhole or something...

Joker flew the Normandy through two Mass Relays in a row and they reached the Exodus Cluster. Before heading for Eden Prime, John contacted the flagship of the 7th Fleet, stationed nearby, to obtain the latest maps and charts for the planet. There were no official settlements in the region Jane had specified, and as far as the Alliance Navy was aware, it hadn't been explored on foot. But the chart keeper transmitted satellite maps that were detailed enough for Pressly and Joker to find a landing zone within driving distance of the coordinates of the Prothean ruins.

In fact, most of the colonization on Eden Prime was located on the Southern hemisphere. There, vast areas of land had been converted for mechanized agriculture, and the soon-to-be four millions of colonists lived in over a hundred self-contained, self-sufficient tower cities, linked by monorail tracks. It was the most successful corporate colony to date, even after the geth attack, and a model for many new colonization projects.

The Northern hemisphere's landscape was different, more mountainous in places, with jagged cliffs and numerous bodies of water. If the Southern hemisphere had sometimes been compared to Italy, the Northern hemisphere was Eden Prime's Scotland.

"Back to Eden Prime," Jane commented, looking at the video feed from the comm room where they'd gathered to study the maps. "For the third time."

"Where it all began," John added. "The beacon, the first vision of the reapers. The first geth attack."

"It's a first for Liara, Tali and Garrus," Ashley said.

"Yes. I read the reports," Garrus said. "I was busting my ass, trying to find evidence against Saren. Hearing that he'd attacked a colony while I was mired in bureaucracy... that was a bad day."

"You always did prefer a straight up fight," John remembered.

"I wish I'd been there. I wish I could have looked Saren in the eye--"

"We didn't even get to see him that time," Jane said. "We only had a testimony from one shocked witness. That's why the Council was so doubtful. First time we saw Saren in the flesh was Virmire."

"I understand that we are not going back to the location of the first attack. What are we looking for here?" Liara said.

"Jane?" John offered.

"There's a Prothean ruin here. Back in my time, Cerberus attacked the dig site to try and get their hands on a key... thing. We didn't let them, but we lost a bunch of civilians in the process. Now we'll get to it first. That Prothean... thing is key to convincing the Council that the Reaper invasion is a real threat."

"And what is the nature of that "thing", Shepard? Is it part of that weapon you mentioned?" the asari inquired.

Jane couldn't hide a smile. "It's a surprise. But you're going to love it. Even more than Ilos."

Liara gave John a look, but he shook his head. "Be patient. The wait's worth it."

"Except... it may take longer than planned," Tali said. "Your contact in the Navy said this region hasn't been settled yet."

"Yes, that's the only issue so far. Joker, how far are we from the coordinates Jane gave you?" John asked over the radio.

"Two hundred K, Commander. We'll be there in a few minutes."

"We need to scan the surface for traces of Prothean civilization," John said.

"The satellite maps already show some geometric structures," Joker said, transmitting the map in question to the comm room's screen.

"Yes," Liara said, standing up to take a few steps towards the screen. The map showed a landscape mostly covered in grass and granite formations, and a lake or river of some sort. Liara tilted her head to the side, pointing to straight lines hidden in the vegetation, "Here, and there, these aren't rocks. These look very much like other Prothean dig sites I've visited. And probably Ilos, although I didn't get to spend as much time there as I wanted. Most Prothean ruins I've found were buried. It may be that structures above ground were destroyed in natural events, or by the following civilizations, but I've also come to the conclusion that the Protheans did build many structures under ground, perhaps specifically to withstand the test of time."

"The previous Reaper invasion lasted centuries," Jane said. "I bet on some planets the Protheans built underground in the hopes of evading the Reapers."

"What do we do if the ruins aren't accessible, though?" Ashley asked. "We're not archaeologists. We don't have the equipment to dig a... dig site, I guess."

"We reconnoiter the site, we try to explore as deep as we can within safety," John said. "If we can get the Prothean memento we're here for, we bring it back. Whether we do or not, we chart the place and send all the intel we gather to the alliance to set up a new settlement and further the research."

He stood up and switched off the display. "Allright, people, you know what to do. Be ready to disembark in two hours. Should give Joker enough time to find us somewhere to land and to scan for lifeforms."

* * *

"You sure you don’t wanna take the Mako?" John asked Jane as they left the cargo bay and headed towards their destination.

"It’s, what, a fifteen minutes walk at most? I feel insulted, Shepard. I’m not the one with a splint," Jane said, pointing at his left arm with her assault rifle.

"It’s my **arm** , _Shepard_."

"Look at these boulders," Garrus said, gesturing to the ten feet tall rock formations sticking out of the ground at random. "You’ve got a brand new Mako, it’d be a shame to break an axle so soon."

"Exactly! It’s a brand new Mako, hence the need to test-run it," John said.

"Please, Commander, I still have whiplash from that landing in the presidium," Liara pleaded.

Ashley snickered and John had the grace to look sheepish.

"I, for one, enjoy a walk in the wide open spaces of Eden Prime," Jane said, sauntering ahead of the group. "I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors more. If I’d known I’d end up spending so much time in tight spaces, I might have reconsidered my career choice." She climbed over a ridge and stood, taking in the landscape.

"What would you have done, if you hadn’t enrolled?" Tali asked.

"I wanted to be a fisherman," John answered, causing several of their teammates to laugh or smile.

"What? We’re serious!" Jane said, turning around.

"The climate of Mindoir didn’t really lend itself to agriculture. In school they told us fishing was the future," John added.

"I loved riding the waves," Jane reminisced with a look of nostalgia.

"What was the climate like?" Kaidan asked.

"Wet." John said.

"Cold."

"Foggy."

"Windy, too, come to think of it, when it wasn’t foggy," Jane concluded. "I never knew what sunscreen was until I landed at Rio. Then I learned the hard way."

They stood on a ridge overlooking a valley with a lake. They could see for miles in every direction, rolling hills after jagged cliffs, interspersed with granitic mounds.

"So, this is the site? Where do you think the ruins were?" John asked.

Jane looked over the expanse, trying to recognize the place.

"It's hard to replace anything," she confessed after a minute, with a frown. "There were modular buildings, there was an arcology in the distance, and a gigantic pit in the middle. Also, Cerberus troops were shooting at us the whole time."

"So... we don't know anything. I guess we can just... walk until we trip into a Prothean ruin."

"Wait a minute. There was the dig site, the lake, and the arcology in the distance." She lifted a hand as if visualizing the view. Jane jogged down the hill and the others followed at a slower pace. After a hundred meters or so, she stopped and looked back to the relief now hiding the Normandy’s landing site. She took on her new environment.

"We landed on the wrong side of the lake. The arcology appeared to the right of this big hill there." She pointed to their right, then did a half turn. "So the ruins should be this way, behind the lake."

Fifteen minutes later they had reached the edge of the lake and were walking along the shore to reach the other side. They encountered a small stream, less than ten feet wide and two deep, and crossed it. Garrus was reticent and was the last to set foot in the water.

"Come on, Garrus, it's not that cold!" John encouraged him.

"No, but it's slippery," the turian replied, stretching his arms to the side to find his balance. The bed of the stream was mostly mud, but there were some round pebbles hiding under it, which added to the current made the crossing difficult.

"Do you want us to hold your hand, Vakarian?" Ashley offered with a wry smile. Garrus replied with a stern glare.

"You **can** swim, right?" Jane asked, already on dry land, shaking water out of her boots. Kaidan helped Tali and Liara up.

"Do turians **look** like amphibians?" Garrus said, taking a careful step forward.

"You guys don't enjoy bathing?" John asked.

"What, recreationally? Who does that? I mean, apart from asari." He took another step towards John and Ashley, who'd stopped midstream to wait for him.

"Pretty much every species, I'm sure," John said.

"Not drells, they don't deal well with moisture," Jane said from the shore.

"We even make outings just to go swimming," John went on.

"Freaks..." Garrus muttered, crossing the last meter in large strides.

Liara had already wandered off towards a rock formation, and they followed her after shaking most of the water off of their legs. The asari was crouched by a large structure, scraping off some moss to look at the stone under it.

John squatted next to her. Jane took a step closer as well, shaking her head as if to shake water out of her ear.

"You feel it too, uh?" John asked.

"Yep."

"Feel what?" Ashley asked, stepping up on the rock and taking point.

"It's Prothean tech," John said.

"So, what, you've got a Prothean radar in your noggin now?"

"Sort of. It's... familiar. Like a buzz," John answered.

"Protheans used a sort of contact telepathy to communicate, to transfer information. That's how the beacons worked," Jane developed. "They're not meant to interface with human brains, so we get a scrambled version of the message."

"Is this a beacon as well? Do you think I could have a vision like yours? Or perhaps the human nervous system is better attuned to Prothean technology..." Liara mused.

"Nope," John said, tearing off some vegetation and putting a gloved hand on the surface of the stone. "Definitely not a beacon. But Prothean in nature."

"There'd have been more levitation if it'd been a beacon," Ashley said. "And explosions. It was quite the show the first time. It's a shame you weren't there doc."

"The beacon was destroyed after use, is that correct?"

"Yeah. Probably not meant to interface with human brains," Jane said. "Must be the reason Saren used geth to transport it, I suppose the Protheans didn't make their beacons to be accessible to artificial intelligence."

"Uh. Pretty smart in hindsight. Or foresight..." Kaidan said.

Perched on the rock, Ashley was looking at the sky. The cloud cover was thick.

"Anyone else thinks the sun is going down? It's hard to tell."

"Call Joker," John advised. Ashley did; after checking, the pilot informed them they had about 45 minutes until sunset.

"Ugh, and we haven't even had lunch yet," Jane complained. "I hate time shifts. Joker, how dark is the night here?"

" _Um, well, Eden Prime doesn't have any moon, so pretty dark altogether._ "

"Thanks, Joker," John said. "Alright people, let's try and find more of those Prothean structures, or, you know, a door. A working elevator would be nice, but that's probably wishful thinking."

Tali was the first to find more standing monoliths, behind another curve of the landscape. They jutted out of the ground, and even though most were covered in vines, moss, or even grass, they made a recognizable pattern. But Garrus was the first to find something akin to an entrance to the underground complex that Shepard knew was there: under an upside-down Y-shaped monolith. The branching structure protected a dark hole that seemed to go deep underground. Their flashlights shone down the tunnel for about fifteen feet, revealing that it went down at a steep angle.

"We could send a drone down there," Tali suggested.

"Or I could get inside," Jane offered. "I mean it seems structurally sound enough."

"Not today. It's getting late. We'll come back tomorrow with more equipment," John said.

"It's not late for us. I could program a drone and do some preliminary exploration while it's dark, so we know what we're going into."

"We'll do that from the Normandy. Maybe we'll find other entrances?" John said, hopeful. "At least we can tell Alliance Command that we've found the ruins. They'll know where to start the settlement. Come on, let's go back."

"You know, it's going to be just as dark inside. We may as well start now," Jane suggested, although she went with the group as they headed back to the ship.

"Don't be in such a hurry. We're years ahead. We can wait one night. I'm hungry for lunch anyway," John said.

By the time they reached the Normandy, night had fallen and they had to use their flashlights to find their way. The rest of the crew had helped the Alliance scientists unload their equipment and load it on the Mako to be brought to the future settlement area.

Some ensigns had gathered dried vegetation and asked permission to start a campfire, which John authorized. While he and Jane went to write a situation report, Tali started on programming an exploration drone and Liara introduced herself to the archaeologists and architects who would be working on the ruins in the months to come.

When they were done with their respective duties, the humans introduced their alien crew-mates to the tradition of sitting around a campfire, which was apparently typical to their species. To quarians who lived confined on spaceships, fire was mostly a threat. Turians could eat raw meat without difficulty, and Palaven did not have very cold climates, so they hadn't relied on fire much throughout their history. Asaris had, at the very beginning, but safer technologies had replaced open flames thousands of years ago, and Liara couldn't really understand the humans' fascination with fire.

"It's beautiful," Ashley explained, "kind of like an aurora borealis, except you can touch it."

"But you can replicate that effect without fire, with holograms," Liara countered.

"It's warm, too. I like the toasty feeling of sitting next to a fire," Kaidan added. "Central heating cannot compare."

"My front is burning and my backside is freezing," Liara said, shaking her head. "Your species is incomprehensible. It's like you enjoy risk."

Jane shrugged. "Without fire, humans would never have become the dominant species on Earth."

Liara made a doubtful face.

"Our ancestors also used it to ward off dangerous predators," John developed. "And since nights are pretty dark on Earth, firelight enabled them to do other things than sleep at night."

"So this is how humans made it to the top without claws or fangs," Garrus mused. "Makes sense."

They went to bed early, and set their alarms earlier than they would have liked, to be able to make the most of the next day.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short nightime interlude featuring John, Jane, Kaidan, and John's best feature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commander Shepard is terrible at dirty talk, FYI. That's my headcanon. He can't be goot at everything, can he?

John didn’t know what made him wake up at first. He was lying on his back under the duvet. The captain’s quarters were very dimly lit by the floor emergency lights that they turned almost all the way down before going to sleep. The only sound was the steady hum of the ship.

He switched on his omnitool to check the time when he heard Jane sniffle into her pillow. He sat up in bed and looked at her on his right. She was lying on her side, turning her back to him. She’d pressed her face into the pillow and her shoulders were shaking as she tried to muffle her choking breaths.

John swung his legs over to the side of his bed and leaned forward, pulling the blankets on Jane’s bed, swiftly moving to sit next to her. He put his hand over her ribcage and felt her jerky breathing pattern. He recognized it for what it was: she was awake and she was panicking. He knew the feeling too well.

He lay down next to her, on his right side too, awkwardly tucking his splinted arm between them. He pulled the blanket over them and wrapped his left arm around her waist, covering her left hand with his.

"I dreamed of him," she stammered. "That he died. And I woke up sad and now I’m terrified. I can’t-- I can’t--"

"It’s okay. It’s just a feeling. It’s not gonna last long."

"It’s overwhelming." She took a shuddering breath.

"I know. It happens. You know it’s just a feeling. It’s not real. You just go with it and in some time it’ll be gone and you’ll feel calm again. In the meantime you just breathe. I’m here, okay."

"I’m scared."

"I’m not going anywhere. I’m here." He stroke along her arm, making shushing sounds as she cried some more into her pillow. After a few minutes she started breathing more slowly, less deeply. He reached over her into her bedside table to grab a green bottle of meds and popped the lid open.

"Did you take one?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I will," she said, grabbing a water bottle on the floor and opening it. When the lid was off, she held her palm open and John shook a pill out of the bottle. Jane swallowed it down with a gulp of water, closed the bottle and put it back on the floor, then took the green bottle from John and slipped it back into the bedside table’s nook. She settled back into the bed, rolling the pillow until it supported her head and neck just so.

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Yeah." He reached behind him to take his own pillow and settled as comfortably as he could. He’d pulled the blankets up to their shoulders and it was warm under them.

It had been ages since he’d shared a bed with a woman, or a girl. Lying there, spooning a smaller body, Jane’s hair tickling his cheek, he thought back to Louise’s nightmares when she was a kid. His littlest sister would often climb into his bed at night unannounced. This is what it’d feel like if she had had a chance to grow up, John thought. She’d be eighteen now. She probably wouldn’t need a big brother anymore – but he would never know that.

Lulled by Jane’s now steady breathing, John slumbered for a while, on the verge of sleep, until he heard the door to their quarters open and close. While he sat up and reached for the gun he kept near his bed, his brain registered that he’d set the door to allow a third person during the night shift – Kaidan.

The man was standing by the door in sweatpants and a tee-shirt, barefoot, unsure what to do. Probably surprised by the embrace in which he’d found them. John put a hand over his heart. "Heavens, my boyfriend!" he whispered dramatically. "I swear it’s not what it looks like."

"You’re not saving her from hypothermia by sharing body heat?" Kaidan replied in a low voice, taking a few steps inside. John climbed out of the bed and joined him, wrapping his arms around Kaidan’s waist and kissing him softly. Kaidan smiled against his mouth. John took a deep breath.

"I’m so fucking glad to see you," he said, nuzzling Kaidan's face.

"Good. Good. Not sure what kind of reaction I could expect, barging into your room in the middle of the night..." Kaidan gave John’s jaw a peck. "But this is good."

"If I didn’t want you to, I wouldn’t have told you you were welcome, any time," John whispered. "Couldn’t sleep?"

"A bit jet-lagged, yeah. Thought I’d come and see if anyone else was up – most of the crew’s gone to bed by now."

John’s fingers danced at the waist of Kaidan’s pants. His skin was warm under it – he always seemed to run a few degrees higher than John.

"And you ended up here."

"Yep."

"Wanna finish the night here?" John offered, tilting his head towards the bed.

Kaidan gestured at Jane, fast asleep under her blanket, with a questioning look. John shook his head. "She had a nightmare so she took a sedative. She’ll be out of it for a while." He pulled Kaidan along as he walk back to his bed. "Come on. I haven’t seen you half as much as I wanted to since the Citadel."

Kaidan went along, a smile playing on his lips. John slipped under the covers and held them up, scooting to the left to leave room for his lover. Kaidan lied down on his back and slipped his right arm under John’s shoulders. After pulling up the blanket, John settled on his left side, resting his head on Kaidan’s shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist. He wiggled until he felt perfectly comfortable.

"See? Perfect," he whispered. "If you hadn’t come, I’d have sneaked into your bed after a while anyway, you know."

"I share quarters with seven crew mates, Shepard."

"The more the merrier. I’ve never had an orgy, but you know what they say. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it."

Kaidan snorted. "You’re an ass."

"It’s my best feature, but please don’t reduce me to my body."

"It’s a great ass, it’s true," Kaidan said, reaching down and squeezing John's ass cheek through his pants.

"I hope you'll get to know it better soon," John said into Kaidan's shoulders. "I wanted to book us a nice hotel room back on the Citadel but then stuff... happened."

There was a moment of silence.

"I really hope she's asleep," Kaidan finally commented. John laughed softly. "I'd love to get to know it better," Kaidan added, kissing the top of John's head. "But there's no hurry. 'Pleasure is found first in anticipation, later in memory.'"

"Did you make that up or does everyone but me quote poetry on this ship?"

"Flaubert," Kaidan said.

"Now I feel like uncultured swine."

"Don't feel too bad about it. That's about the only quote I know."

"Still..." John hooked his leg over Kaidan and traced the edge of his waistband with his fingers. Soon, his breath settled down and he fell asleep. Kaidan watched over him for a while before following.

* * *

Kaidan woke to the muffled sound of a piano song.

"Shuddup," John grumbled against his side, struggling to free his arm and switch off his omnitool’s alarm.

" ‘Time is it?" Kaidan asked, still half asleep.

"Four."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Sun’s rising already." John wrapped himself back around Kaidan at the same time as the lieutenant sat up, suddenly remembering that they weren’t alone. Except they were – the other bed was empty and made.

"Shepard, don’t go back to sleep. Also, where’s Jane?"

John sat up, rubbing a hand over his face. "Making breakfast. Got up fifteen minutes ago."

"Uh. So, she knows, right?"

John stretched before answering. "About us? If she didn’t, now she does. We… haven’t really had that conversation." He stood up and reached for clean clothes under his bed. "We should probably have that conversation, you’re right."

"I didn’t say you should.”

“Well, I think we should.” Having slipped into new clothes, John gave Kaidan a once over. Kaidan looked at his rumpled clothes.

“I should head back to my bunk, but...”

He didn’t need to say the words. _Don’t want to be seen leaving your quarters. People would talk._

John moved to his console and pulled up the security feeds from all over the Normandy. “Looks safe now, no one’s around.”

“Okay, I’ll slip out then,” Kaidan said, turning towards the door. Before he could reach it, John had caught up with him and gave his stubbled cheek a kiss, and his butt a squeeze.

“See you at breakfast. And, Kaid? It was nice, having you here tonight.”

Kaidan’s face lit up with a smile.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't work out like Shepard & Co were hoping.

While they walked to the subterranean entrance they'd discovered the day before, the Alliance specialists were already planning to build a settlement to host the Prothean researchers who would continue to investigate the site after the departure of the Normandy.

John and Tali let the drone they'd programmed into the tunnel, then they threw in a glow-stick and rappelled down the entrance. It was a steep fifteen feet of half-collapsed boulders until they stood on a definitely artificial, stone-like surface. The floor sloped ahead, and while the ceiling was low where they stood (Garrus had to bow), it didn't slope. It was wide enough that the Mako could have fit in it. John and Jane tried to light the way ahead with their omnitool's flashlights. For about three hundred feet the corridor went down in a straight line, and then the light couldn't reach any further.

John's omnitool revealed that the drone was still going on almost 500 meters ahead. For lack of anything of interest around, they took off, stopping every few hundred feet to affix a light on the corridor's wall. The floor was slippery and covered in gooey green algae. The structure was, so far, incredibly devoid of any interest, except perhaps for wiggly floor markings that reminded Liara of previous Prothean structures they'd explored. However soon the drone warned of a larger structure ahead, and their corridor opened onto a larger avenue.

"Interesting!" Jane whispered. They had all, unconsciously, lowered their voices since they were underground, as if afraid to attract someone's attention. They hastened forward, until the walls of the corridor disappeared and they found themselves on a bridge overlooking a deep chasm, going at a perpendicular angle to their own path, which ended in a dead end as the bridge met the wall of the chasm ahead of them. A railing, reaching up to their chest, prevented accidental falls.

They stepped near the edge and looked downwards. It was pitch black. They heard a low gurgling sound deep below. Kaidan bent a glow-stick and dropped it over the edge. The light receded away until it landed in a faint splash. John squinted at it.

"Hundred and thirty feet?" he guessed.

"Give or take," Jane said. "To think the Alliance says we don't need jetpacks..."

Tali ordered the drone downwards. It scanned the chasm as it did, until it reached the bottom. "Forty one meters deep, or a hundred and thirty four feet. You've got a good eye for dimensions."

"It's not that high," Ashley said. "Surely we can rappel down there?"

They tested the solidity of the railing, attached a set of ropes and made the descent. This hall was much larger than the tunnel they’d come from – at least twenty meters wide – and it went down as far as they could see, in a succession of flat passages interspersed with gentle slopes.

“This is exactly like the trench in Ilos,” Garrus recalled.

A steady stream of water rushed down: the higher end of the chasm was in the general direction of the lake they’d seen above ground. The walls were made of continuous panels of a material that had once been white, but was covered in a layer of grime. Tali scanned them for live tech, but they were all unresponsive.

“This is it!” Liara exclaimed, unable to hide her excitement. “These must be lifepods, like in Ilos! Can you imagine? If each of these panel is a life pod, we must be surrounded with hundreds or thousands of Protheans!”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Liara,” Tali said, “but if they’re all unresponsive… We’re surrounded with thousands of corpses.”

Liara sobered a little. “Even so… If they were well-preserved, we could still learn so much!”

“Hey, there could still be some functioning pods further on,” John added.

They went down the hall, scanning the wall panels for life signs, but all of them were dead. They had to stop fifteen minutes later when they reached a surface of water. The bottom of the chasm was flooded. They turned around, made their way back to the bridge they’d come from, and explored the higher part of the trench. Using their omnitools as well as the drone, they scanned every life pod panel, but failed to find any in working order.

They met with another dead end after ten minutes when that part of the tunnel was blocked by collapsed earth and rocks, through which a steady stream of water was cascading.

Liara sighed.

“Looks like this is it,” Ashley commented, waving her flashlight over the rubble, looking for a passage wide enough to explore further. There was none.

Jane kicked a rock, then sat down against one of the walls, her arms propped on her knees. John was tempted to ask her not to start a landslide, but thought better of it. She looked completely dejected.

“You’re gonna get all wet,” he pointed out. She looked up at him without lifting her head, and a lock of hair escaped from behind her ear and swooped across her face. Her eyes crossed when she looked at it and it seemed to shake her out of her disappointment. She smiled and held up a hand. John helped her up with his healthy arm.

"So what do we do?" Liara asked.

" _We_ don’t do anything," John said, "The Alliance will send structural engineers to fix this mess and open the way for archaeologists. We’ll get to the bottom of this eventually, it’s just going to take a little longer than we hoped for."

They walked back to the small tunnel they’d come through and climbed back up to the bridge – not without difficulty for John. As they got close to the exit, their headsets crackled to life.

"Commander, do you copy?"

"Loud and clear, Joker."

"Oh, good. I tried to reach you before but only got static. Hackett has an urgent message for you, you might want to get back here. Huh, did you find what you were looking for?"

"Nope, it was a literal deadend," John said. "We're almost out, we'll be on our way."

"I sent a couple marines with the Mako, they should be almost there."

"Good thinking. Shepard out."

"Copy that."

John turned to Jane. "Any idea what this could be about?"

She shook her head. "Feels like everything is always urgent with Hackett."

"We'll know soon enough," John concluded, heading for the exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like to disappoint them, but surely they couldn't just waltz in, trip over Javik's pod and unthaw him on the spot.


End file.
